Speaking of Parenting

Anyone seen this show on CMT?

I've been hesitant to tell anyone about this new find, because some of my favorite friends are "reality show" junkies, and one of my favorite things to do is make fun of them for watching these kinds of shows. Now what am I going to tease them about? Just give me time...I'll think of something.

If you haven't ever seen World's Strictest Parents, you should definitely DVR it.

I saw the title, and thought to myself..."Yes...I want to watch this show. I bet these strict parents are mean and crazy." I was envisioning some military style, unloving dad running his children's lives with excel spread sheets, making his kids drop and give him 20 when they forgot to put the lid down on the toilet.

This show takes teens from one home and puts them in the home of "The World's Strictest Parents" for one week.

We were only about three minutes into this show before we realized...wait...wait a second...these strict parents aren't mean and crazy...they are NORMAL.

According to this show, you are the "World's Strictest Parent" if you don't let your teen smoke in your house, yell at you, stay out until 3 a.m., or cuss you out in your living room.

We've only watched two episodes of this show, but both of them were so touching as you watch these out of control teens, come into a home with some stability, structure, and parents willing to stand their ground. You see how hungry they are for discipline. They fight it at first, but then surrender, and actually say, "I wish my parents were strict." In both shows, the teens have said something about how love is linked to discipline.

I don't have teenagers, so I'll never pretend to know how to parent them, but one thing that has stood out to me in these shows is that the troubled teens hate that their parents are afraid of them, and try to be their friend instead of their parent. Mahaney addresses this in her book, and that part was hard for me to read. I do find myself wanting my children's approval. I'm asking God to teach me more about this.

"The Bible calls this "the fear of man" (Prov. 29:25), or in this case, the fear of children. My husband defines this fear as "an excessive sinful concern about what our children think of us, an inordinate desire for our children's approval, or an intense fear of being rejected by our children." Succumbing to the fear of children can lead to indulgence.

If we cave in to our children's sinful demands in order to secure their approval and affection, or if we withhold discipline so as not to risk their displeasure - this is sinful indulgence, not biblical love."

I'm asking the Lord to search my heart in this area, especially. I want to love my children in a tender way like scripture commands, but I also want to learn how to always be the parent, never "leaving them to themselves" to sort our their life as though they were an adult, when in fact...they aren't.

Aaron's favorite part of the show is when they interview the "strict" parents. Under their name, it will say something like "Steve Smith...Strict Dad." Strict dad? It's a crying shame that you're now a strict dad if you simply expect your children to do what you ask them to do, not talk back disrespectfully, and you don't let them smoke dope in their bedroom.

This show has made me think a lot...and it's on CMT. CMT and thinking? I don't know how this happened.

All this to say...try to watch the show, and tell me what you think.

And...

Like Carolyn Mahaney reminds us in her book...

God does want to use our families...the way we tenderly love one another, the way we serve one another, the way we hold up God's standards in the lives of our children and the way we lovingly, yet consistently discipline them to give us opportunities to share the gospel with people around us.