Lent

As a Baptist, if you say the word "Lint" to me, my mind immediately thinks of...

this.

For Catholics, if you say the word, "Lent" they immediately think of

this.

I'm not Catholic, but as you may know, our family did something very different during December to get ready to celebrate Christmas.

During family worship in the evenings, we used the entire month to celebrate advent...which just meant, we prepared our hearts, all month long for Christmas.

It changed us forever.

I don't think I could celebrate Christmas again without allowing the Lord to prepare my heart. I realized quickly that a lot of what we used to do during Christmas was stupid and pointless compared to how purposeful and exciting Christmas could be when we spend our month drawing nearer to the Lord.

As with Christmas, I am guilty of showing up for church on Easter Sunday and sort of just hitting a brick wall. Easter kind of drops on me like a ton of bricks. I'm not ready. I haven't really spent any time thinking about what Easter means. The beauty of the cross and the resurrection is tasted instead of really savored. And yet, those two things...the cross and the resurrection are the foundation of everything else in my life.

For our family, Aaron is leading us through this Lenten season focusing our family on the cross, on the gospel and what Christ has done in our personal lives and for this world.

Like Advent, Lent is just a time to prepare ourselves, to focus in on what Christ has done, so that Christmas, and now, Easter will be a time of true rejoicing.

We have never done anything like this for Easter as a family, so we're excited to see what the Lord will teach us during this time. Of course, like usual, we are behind the game. This season snuck up on us. We've already missed several days of "getting ready" but that's okay. Hopefully we'll be ready next year. That's what Google Calendar is for, right?

We plan on learning together in the evenings more about the cross, grace, God's love and the power of the resurrection. Lent is a time for prayer, fasting and also doing intentional things to love your neighbor. If someone were to say, "Raise your hand if you need God to grow you in those areas," my hand would be the first one in the air. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to learning over the next month or so.

We plan on having other families over to learn with us.

The boys and I are talking today about things we can do to tangibly love others around us.

We plan on eating lentils. They have nothing to do with lent, but I can't stop thinking about them every time I say "Lenten season."

Once again, we Hendricks would love any help we can get. Aaron is searching for Lenten daily devotions, and found one he likes, but we want to put some stuff together this year to use every year with our family.

We're working this weekend on what we're using for the rest of Lent. If you want to use what we're using, we'll be glad to send it to you. Just email me and let me know you want it. I think it will be too long to put on our blog. The devotions are short, but there are lots of days between now and Easter! We want to take what we've found online and make some adjustments to make them more family/kid friendly. We've found a lot of good things for grownups, and individuals, but we know our kids learn in a hands on way, so want to find more concrete ways to teach them through this season.

I think running during Lent will also be good for me. What a great time to ask God to teach me about suffering, about denying myself as I run? For those of you running, I think if we prepare mentally, physically and spiritually this is going to be a sweet time for all of us!

If some of you have already put some things together for Lent, or know of great resources, we would love for you to send them our way!

Preparing our hearts can look different, so maybe you just spend this time reading the gospel, and other devotionals about the cross.

Any suggestions?

It's Possible

Got this comment from Laura...a sweet friend of ours in Spain.

Still on the fence? Still undecided? You can do this!

From Laura...

While I won't be able to participate in this race (since I live really far away), I loved Shannan's comment and wanted to encourage others to run as well, because I am living proof that it's possible - if I could do it, so can they!

The reason why? When I started at A&M I was 50 pounds overweight. I used to walk past all of the sorority tables with their 5k fundraisers and think, "Ha! no way I'll ever be able to do that!" Like Shannan, I could only run for 60 seconds at a time, and then it took me a full 2-3 minutes to catch my breath before I could run another minute. But sophomore year I decided I was sick of telling all those cute skinny people that I couldn't run in their race to save the children and made a goal to run in a 5k. At that point I could just barely run 3 minutes at a time.

As physical as it was, it was also a very spiritual battle. I had to rely on God for strength. I had to go to Him for discipline. I had to believe that He made me beautiful no matter my size or running ability. I had to be ultra vulnerable and ask Him for help every single day. I had to share my success and failure with friends who encouraged me. I had to lay down my pride and let people see my fat jiggle. That was the hardest part.

I started with what I could do - 3 minutes - and worked with that. Run 3 minutes, walk 2, run 3, walk 2...keep it going for half an hour. Push it to run 4, walk 2. It wasn't long before I reached my goal of 5k. And when I reached it, I thought, "why stop there?" I went on to run in 2 half marathons that year, and now I'm training for my 3rd. And in the process, I lost 60 pounds (I also didn't drink a single coke that year and started eating healthy)! The best part though, was believing that I was beautiful long before I lost any of that weight. I had to believe God, and it was worth it.

So for any ladies reading this who think they can't, I hope my story encourages you to believe God. You are beautiful, you are His, and He will give you what you need to do it, if you just let Him.

-Laura

Shoot Me an Email

I'm putting together an email list of runners so we can encourage one another, share great places in town to run, let each other know when we're running in case we need a friend to run with us...you know...fun stuff like that. This is the kind of information I'd rather not let people know on my blog so no one kidnaps my children. It would be a shame for me to have to kill someone.

If you haven't told me you're running, you'll miss out on these great conversations!

Self-control.

Discipline.

Training.

Patience.

Endurance.

Pain.

Naturally, I hate all those words.

I think most of us do.

That’s why, when I wanted to get in shape, I was on the lookout for the program where I could eat whatever I wanted, do whatever I wanted (which was hardly anything different than what I was doing), see results immediately, have instant success, all while feeling absolutely no pain or hunger.

Sound Awesome?

Sound like an infomercial?

I spent a lot of our money on programs that promised I could eat whatever I wanted, whatever portion I wanted, while sitting on the couch watching HGTV as I magically morphed into Jennifer Aniston.

I wanted a “diet” that wasn’t a diet because diets were about rules, and this world will tell you that if you are trying to restrict things in your diet, taking things away, and making rules…you will fail.

The world is right.

On our own, we will fail every time, because NATURALLY, we hate rules. We hate being told what to do. Naturally, we are rebellious. We despise not getting to call the shots, determine what foods we eat, how much we eat, or how often we exercise. We don't want anyone....not even nutrition experts to tell us what we should eat and how much we should eat. We're the boss. We know best.

The good news of the gospel is we’re no longer slaves to our sin.

We no longer have to live like we did before we came to know the Lord.

We are called to run this race. We're called to step out in faith and run after righteousness. We are called to train. We are called into suffering. We are called into freedom. We are called to persevere, to keep our eyes on the prize and run like WINNERS.

For me, this meant letting God have access to my heart.

My greatest desire was to look good…to be the fairest of them all…to turn heads, to be beautiful, to be thin. Naturally, that's who we are as women.

The problem is, God places ZERO value on those things in scripture.

He doesn’t look at our appearance. He looks at our heart.

He comes right out and says…to WOMEN…

1 Timothy 2:9-10

And I want women to be modest in their appearance.^a]">[a] They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.

So when I was trying to get in shape to be beautiful and finally feel “good” about myself because I was attractive, I turned male heads, and made women jealous of me, my heart was WRONG.

Getting in shape can’t be about our size, our appearance or being beautiful.

God doesn’t care about any of that.

God cares about our hearts.

Like any good parent, God cares if our hearts are ugly, filled with pride, no self-control and gluttony.

He cares if we love food and have made it an idol in our hearts, instead of something God has given us to fuel our bodies SO that we can do GOOD things…serving Him, serving others.

He cares if we are undisciplined and hate authority.

He cares if we’re consumed with our rights to be lazy, to be the boss of our own life and our own time, to eat whatever we want, whenever we want, however much we want.

He cares if we are out of control, because He wants us to be under His control.

He cares because He love us, and knows our way…our natural way of doing things leads to death, and His ways lead to life.

He’s good and wants good things for us. I think we forget that.

He's called us into life...SO MUCH LIFE! He has so much good for us to do and accomplish on this earth as dearly loved children. We can't do those things if we're bogged down in our sin and selfishness. He wants us running...throwing off the sin that keeps us from doing so (Hebrews 12).

For some of you, this might not be revolutionary, but FOR ME, the first thing I had to do was admit to God that I was a wreck, and my inability to be a good steward of my body, to eat healthy and to exercise consistently were SYMPTOMS of my sinful heart.

I too had tried and failed, over and over to stop eating too much and too often. I never could succeed at making exercise a normal part of my life.

Mainly because I was treating the symptoms, not the problem.

It did not take rocket science for me to look around my life and see that my lack of self control, gluttony, my lack of discipline was not just affecting me physically. My sinful heart was the reason I could not lose weight, it was the reason I could not take care of my body, and it was also the reason why I was constantly losing it with my kids and with Aaron, consumed with thinking about myself, not reading my Bible every day, and unable to make God’s priorities my priorities.

That sounds really simple…

It wasn’t for me.

I had tried forever to change, without ever really admitting there was something wrong inside of me.

I had never admitted the way I was living was sinful.

I didn’t need behavior modification.

I needed to be forgiven and changed.

I wanted a quick fix. I wanted change to come without any growth, sacrifice or surrender.

I wanted to eat healthy and exercise to be beautiful.

I had to ask God to forgive me for making up my own definition of beauty.

God says true beauty is a woman who loves the Lord, trusts Him and fears Him.

I had to ask God to forgive me for how rebellious I was…how I hated discipline. I hated limiting my food and eating healthy because I hated someone telling me what to do. I wanted to be the boss of me. This was NOT about food. It was about the rebellion in my heart.

I had to ask God to give me a heart for submission. My insistence on bucking the “portion size,” calorie recommendation and fat recommendation was because I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do.

I had to ask God to forgive me for being selfish.

I ate to make myself happy. I thought about my appearance all the time. I didn’t want to exercise because I didn’t like it. I would rather eat and be lazy than get my body in shape to serve my husband, my family and my church. I never wanted to feel hungry, even though some of my brothers and sisters in Christ on the other side of the world hardly ever know what it’s like to feel full (including the children for which we are running this race!)

Naturally, I am...

Selfish.

Spoiled.

Bratty.

I needed discipline.

I needed to see that discipline is GOOD. Discipline means God loves us. Discipline means we belong to God.

I had to quit thinking God was going to change my eating habits and help me learn to exercise without allowing Him to change my insides.

For those of you training for this race…

This can’t be just about the race on April 18.

It can’t be about losing weight or getting in shape so that you like yourself and boys like you.

If it is, you’ll fail.

Maybe not fail at running the race...but we'll fail at running the right race.

This has to be about letting God conform us into His image.

This has to be about getting rid of our love for self, our love for control, our love for being the boss, calling the shots, our love for comfort, and EMBRACING the call to imitate Christ…to allow Him to teach us what it means to surrender, to be submissive, to love discipline, to train, to be faithful, to hurt, to be long suffering, patient, to value endurance, to set our eyes on the prize, to trust that His ways are better than ours and the ONLY life giving way there is. This has to be about loving the things God loves. This is going to have to be about obedience.

God thinks things like discipline, submission, faithfulness, training, patience, endurance and long suffering are important.

At one point in my life, I hated those things. I truly despised them.

If we hate the things God loves, there’s no denying…God has some work to do in our hearts!

If you’ve never sat down with the Lord and talked to Him about all this, confessing it to Him…do it.

Don’t try to run this race before you have a long, honest talk with the Lord.

On April 18, if we’re not celebrating what God has done inside us…how He has changed us…we will be running and celebrating in vain.

How cool is it that we are told to confess our sin to the Lord and He'll forgive us...and teach us a new way? What seems impossible and overwhelming to us, God has already made a way for us to succeed!

I want that race on April 18 to be a celebration of forgiveness...of the power of the gospel...about the goodness of the Lord...about faith...and about freedom.

That's something to celebrate!

"I Don't Care What She Says"

"I am NOT running."

Is that you?

Are you saying that?

Are you reading these posts and laughing?

Or better...

Are you throwing a fit inside?

Are you thinking, "That's impossible. I'm too embarrassed to even try."

My friend Shannan posted this comment on the post below, and I had to share it here, where I knew people would actually read it.

Enjoy...

And then, quit throwing your fit, get up off the floor, blow your nose, get your panties out of your rear*...and go to Academy and get you some shoes...we're doing this!

From Shannan...

Ok, I have procrastinated long enough! I am writing this for those of you who really do hate running. I mean REALLY!

For those of you who KNOW that you could never do this. For those of you who think, "that is great for all those skinny people who obviously have discipline in their life!..NOT ME!!"

I know how you feel.

Its a great idea...for THEM & I will cheer them on. Need someone to hold the signs? I'm your girl!

Sometimes we are too quick to be a sideline watcher...when the Lord wants us in the race! I know this is a repeated thing in my life!

I know that I could never do this, as evidenced by 25 years of continued attempts and failure. The problem isn't that it really is impossible...the problem is that even when I have enlisted the Lord's help, at some point I take it back from him. I rely on myself.I believe the lies that the enemy has told me for years.

I can't run 5 minutes....I have no goal of a 9 minute mile. I think it would be a miracle of the Lord if I could run a mile!

Right now I can run for 60 seconds. Yep...60 second is all that you get out of these lungs!

But the Lord has told me to do this.

Why are we so scared to do something that we know is absolutely impossible without the Lord?

So hear me....you aren't too big to run...you aren't too out of shape to run...you aren't too old to run...you aren't too (you fill in the blank)

I may be the last one to finish, but I will finish by his grace & strength!

Don't let pride or fear rob you of something that the Lord may be wanting to teach you!

Let's walk this thing out in humility together.

Be obedient...the Lord will reward that...and there is no telling all that he may teach us in the process!

Shannan

*My beautiful niece calls a wedgie, a washie. How cute is that? So...deal with your washie, and let's get a move on. The running plan takes 9 weeks...and guess what...that's exactly how long you have until the race. You can do this! I'm cheering for you already!

Let's Run!

I KNOW there are more of you out there, feeling a little tug on your heart about running.

You can do this!

Even if you've never run before, you can do this!

As believers, we need to take care of our bodies and be good stewards of them. If you aren't...and you know it, now is your chance to make this right surrounded by others who will love you and encourage you.

No more excuses!

Here's a great website with a plan for people who would never in a million years imagine themselves running a race.

The Couch to 5K Running Plan

Check it out! You'll be amazed at how easy it is to get going and build stamina.

My FAVORITE thing so far about this race is my husband.

I asked him if he was going to run with us.

If you know Aaron, then you know...exercise is not really his thing.

Sports...um...not so much.

I will say, that every time he does HAVE to play a sport for some weird reason, people are pretty surprised that he's really good at them.

The reason Aaron doesn't play sports is NOT because he's no good.

He doesn't play sports because he'd rather be playing his guitar or playing with his sons.

So, after Aaron said, "Yes...I will run but ONLY because this is a great cause, and I want our boys to set some goals and get involved with raising money for these kids," I then started imagining Aaron running this race.

Even though he never runs and he won't train, it will not surprise me if he up and runs the 10K that day. I will train. I will work my rear end right off. Aaron won't, and he will still do way better than me. Stink!

I'll be mad and want to kick him where the sun doesn't shine.

So there I was, in the kitchen thinking about what it would be like to kick my husband (or anyone really) where the sun doesn't shine...shudder...and then I started imaging what Aaron would wear in the race.

Has ANYONE ever seen my husband in athletic shorts?

No.

I never have.

I was imagining him in shiny shorts.

It was as weird as imagining him in a cowboy hat and boots.

Then I started playing paper dolls with Aaron in my brain.

That was fun. My face was smiling.

Aaron in hip hop clothing, Aaron in a suit...fun times.

I was imagining him going into a store where they sell shiny shorts. Weird.

So, I said..."Honey...what are you going to wear? Are you going to wear athletic shorts?"

He looked at me like I was nuts.

He said, "No. I'm only running this race if I can run in my regular clothes."

Seriously.

That's what he said.

You know he will be wearing his khaki shorts, some graphic tee and maybe even his cool brown shoes.

As he walked out of the kitchen, he also said, "And I'm not drinking water. I'm drinking Pepsi that day. You better have Pepsi waiting for me at the finish line."

He's not kidding.

That's my man.

Just for fun, I'm going to buy him a race costume.

Shiny shorts, a t-shirt from Academy, and a baseball hat to wear backwards.

__________________________________________________

I also wanted to tell those of you just starting out a few things that helped me when I started running.

First...admitting I had no self control or self discipline and then realizing how cool it is that I can ask God to grow those things in me since those are fruits of the Spirit. I needed God to grow those things in me, and He did. That fruit has affected a bunch of other areas in my life...like being a wife, mother, a woman who prays...my lack of discipline and self-control were crippling me in those areas as well.

Second...admitting I'm high maintenance about everything in my life, and so running is no exception.

Yes.

I'm high maintenance.

My nickname amongst my closest friends is...

Heather Hilton.

My friends are a little mean to me, but dead on right with their nickname. I can't even defend myself...it would be pointless.

I made my husband put tents in our cabin at Garner.

I talk to my Pest Control Man more than I talk to some of my extended family members.

I won't stay in a hotel that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

And when it comes to running...I simply will not do it unless...

I have water with me, I'm wearing my running shoes, I have chapstick on my lips, socks that are not too high and not too low, my Nike chip, great music playing on my ipod, clothes that don't do stupid things while I run, AND gum in my mouth.

Any other tips for new runners?

Those of you still undecided, what's keeping you from jumping in?

Let us encourage you!

Running this Race

Jenn is partnering with ASC, a Christian organization on campus, to host a 5K/10K run on April 18. The money raised will go to Compassion's Child Survival Program. Please go read about this organization. You will be touched and inspired.

Jenn's parents do the most beautiful thing for their kids during Christmas. They give each of the Seay siblings $50 and ask them to use that money to MAKE money for Compassion.

How incredible is that? I know Jenn will write more about the race, about why she's doing it, so stay tuned.

Our family will be running this race in April. Details will be coming soon. We are excited to be a part of raising money for Compassion. What a privilege to join in with what they are doing to bring love, medicine, education, the gospel, and justice to these children in need.

You can either run a 5K or a 10K so this will be a great race for beginners and for running pros.

And guess what...

I really want you to run with us.

Yep. I do.

So many of you have said, "Heather...I want to run. I never have, but I want to run. If you can start out as a non-runner and learn to run, I know I can too...I'm just afraid, and still doubt I can do this."

Well girl...here's your chance to do something amazing you never thought was possible.

Is your heart pounding?

I've said it many times...

Before we adopted our baby boy, there was a lot of scripture that just didn't mean as much to me as it does now.

Pre-Hudson, I could read verses about God choosing us, about adoption, about being bought and brought into the family of God, and appreciate them...but now, when I read those words, they sit heavy in my soul and the richness of them resounds in my heart in a way they just didn't and maybe couldn't before holding my smallest son in my arms.

Before becoming a runner, the same was true.

I could read the words in the Bible that talk about us running...about this race...about perseverance, about endurance and vaguely understand them.

I had seen people run.

I knew what a race was.

I have watched sporting events...okay fine...I've attended sporting events...I think it would be a stretch to say I really watched them.

I was never athletic myself. Never. Not even a tiny bit. I could not relate, on a personal level, to any of the ideas in scripture about training, about striving, about goals, and running.

Not at all.

As many of you know, that all changed for me a couple years ago.

I decided I would run.

And that decision, although I thought it was my own, turned out to be so much more than a decision to get in shape and take care of my body.

I believe that the Lord led me to running, something so bizarre for me and un-me, during our adoption so He could teach me about patience, about suffering, about waiting, about discipline, endurance and most importantly...about the reward.

Now, when I read verses in the Bible about running, about training, about this race, about our journey, about endurance those words mean something more to me.

I used to only roll those words around in my mind. As a runner, when I read those words in the Bible I feel them in my soul, but also in my legs, in my chest...their meaning is more full and hands on for me now.

I understand better that sanctification is a process...it's a journey, and it's hard, painful and intense, but always rewarding.

There's nothing like a runner's high.

There's nothing like that feeling I get when I've run farther than I've ever run before.

There's nothing like that feeling I get when I think of how far I've come as a runner.

I used to not be able to run from my front door to the stop sign on my street, and we lived on the corner.

The pain does not compare to the reward and the joy.

So here's what this post is really about...

I haven't run consistently since school began.

I just couldn't.

But now, my life and my baby are to the point where I can again.

I started yesterday.

When I quit running, I had gone from being a non-runner...as in could not run hardly at all, (no more than one or two minutes at a time when I started) to being someone who ran 2-3 miles twice a week and 3-4 miles once a week.

That's incredible.

Yesterday, I went back to being someone who can only run 5-7 minutes at a time.

It would have been easy to get discouraged...but I know better. I can do this. I will improve. I will reach those goals that used to be easy for me.

It's going to take work and determination, but I've already seen myself do what I once thought was an impossibility. It will come again.

I want that for you.

I want us to run and train together (that doesn't mean we have to run at the same time and same place, but we can be training together, checking on each other and encouraging one another).

I want you to do something you never thought could be possible.

And could we be doing this for a better cause?

We can run, let the Lord teach us about endurance, self-discipline, about faith, training, the goal, results and the reward WHILE helping children in need.

We Hendricks have started training.

Even the boys are setting goals and learning about what it means to strive...to push on, to reach for the prize. There will be a fun run for the kids that day, so really...it's a family affair! Everyone can do this, even if you have to walk and take your time!

Right now, Anson and Hayden both want to at least RUN one of the miles, and then walk the rest.

What a great thing to do together as a family. What wonderful lessons our kids can learn about these images from scripture, but also about doing what we're doing to love children who desperately need our help.

Will you run with us? If you can't run, you can walk...but if you know you need to run, that there are lessons here God is wanting to lovingly teach you then quit making excuses and let's do this.

If so, I'm going to post a running schedule online for those of you who are ready to step out, in faith, who have never run before. We have about two months to train, and even if you can't run the entire race in April without stopping, I know, without a doubt, you will be able to run farther than you ever imagined possible by that time.

I want to encourage you!

I want to cheer you on.

Let's run this race together.

That day we can celebrate together all that God has done in our souls getting us ready to run, and we can celebrate all that He's going to do with the money we raise to help these precious children.

Who's in?

Maggie

Aaron got a GPS thing for the car for Christmas (thanks Will!).

The tale of our car troubles just can't be told without writing about the element of the GPS on that dreadful day.

You can't fully appreciate this story without understanding that there was a robotic voice in our car, telling Aaron what to do, during our trip.

I love hearing Aaron make fun of himself about his driving.

He's a genius.

He's brilliant.

He's freaky gifted musically.

He's the smartest person I know.

But like most gifted people, he has quirks...and one of them deals with his driving.

I used to joke that in order for us to go anywhere, we first had to drive to the church.

When Aaron gets in the car, he MUST, and I mean MUST have the exact, perfect music playing as he rolls out of our driveway.

Music is a big deal in Aaron's life, and even if he's driving from our house to the nearest gas station, there must be music...good, loud, perfect music for such a trip. If you don't think there's "going to the gas station music" you're wrong. You could probably ask Aaron right now and he could tell you 10 songs you should have playing if you're driving to fill up your car. "Gas station" may even be a category on his ipod.

Once that music begins playing, Aaron's brain sort of goes on auto-pilot.

He gets lost in the music I think, and that's why, if I'm with him, and I'm not paying attention I will look up and realize we're on our way to the church (the place Aaron has gone almost every day for the past decade) when we really need to be heading towards Dallas.

It's just so normal now, I hardly acknowledge it.

Aaron laughs at himself, and admits, if he's not thinking hard about where he's going once he leaves our driveway, he'll find himself on the way to the church, when he's supposed to be on his way to HEB on the other side of town.

See why this GPS could be a good thing?

You would think.

On the way to San Antonio, I heard this poor GPS robot lady, respectfully reminding my husband when to turn, when to stop and when to get over.

I also watched my husband totally ignore her. One time, she told him to turn left and Aaron said, "No" and kept on driving.

I said, "She told you to turn left."

"I'm not turning left. That's not the fastest way. She's wrong."

Lots of things went through my mind as we drove to San Antonio. That's one of the reasons I hate road trips...I have too much time to think, and usually try to convince Aaron we need to move to California, or Austin, or start a Wildlife Ranch if we're in the car more than thirty minutes. Not on the road, I don't even like animals or nature, so I've decided that the car, for me, must be like the matrix or something...when I get in it, reality skews.

One of the things I was thinking was how nice this GPS lady was to Aaron.

No matter how many times he totally ignored her, or went the exact opposite way she suggested, she would just gently say, in the nicest, slightly creepy robotic voice..."as soon as you can...make a legal u-turn."

It got me to thinking...what if I was as nice to Aaron as his GPS lady? No matter what he did, or how he treated her, the GPS girl remained under control. When Aaron missed the turns, I on the other hand, would sit there and wish I could instantly turn into a lion in the front seat...like Beast Boy on Teen Titans. How great would it feel, when you're frustrated, to just be able to let out a really loud roar...a blood stopping, window shaking roar? I think that would feel so good. I sat there imagining roaring, really loud, out of nowhere...Aaron's face would look super funny and surprised...and then I imagined turning back into the wife again, smiling at my husband, and going back to thinking through what the employees at our Wildlife Ranch should wear.

Aaron named his GPS lady, Maggie. It's a Magellan brand GPS thing, but it has a girl's voice on it, so Maggie is her name.

When Aaron would miss his turn, I'd want to bang my head on the dashboard and say, "Just let me drive."

Not really.

I hate driving.

I would really start thinking how cool it would be if we could own a magic carpet...but sometimes, I just don't want you to know exactly what I think. "Let me drive" sounds so much more normal than "I wish we had a magic carpet."

But Maggie...she never lost her cool, or wished for an enchanted rug.

She's so nice.

She would just pause and then say, "Recalculating route."

I was feeling a little bad.

Why is Maggie so nice, and I want to turn into a lion and roar at my husband?

How sad and embarrassing would it be for our community to find out one day that Aaron left his wife and ran off with his nice GPS lady?

Pretty sad.

Pretty sad.

I'm imagining right now the talk show stage filled with men saying, "I love my GPS lady. She's nice. She never yells. And my wife...she's mean...she scares me." Then some cute guy on the stage, would yell out, "And my wife turns into a lion. A LION!!"

Instead of getting frustrated when Aaron forgets something, why not just pause and say, "Recalculating my day..."

Maggie was always on in the car while we were driving.

After she taught me a great lesson about being more respectful, patient and loving to my husband, she soon became the butt of lots of jokes in the front seat while we were in San Antonio.

Our favorite saying Maggie has...

"Keep to the left followed by a keep to the right."

We wrote raps using Maggie-isms.

They should be recorded.

They are that good.

A couple days into our San Antonio adventure, Aaron decided Maggie is too nice.

"She's never funny and doesn't makes fun of you, even though she really should."

Aaron thinks Maggie is too polite and a push over.

In that moment, I knew Maggie would never get my man. When Aaron wasn't looking, I cocked my head and gave Maggie the "ya lose, girl" look.

We think you should be able to buy a GPS version that's not so nice...just for fun. Aaron would go buy TOMORROW a GPS thing that featured a no-nonsense black girl with a huge dose of attitude. He would love her.

Like a "Naggy Maggie" version.

When Aaron totally disobeyed her, he thinks she should have yelled at him, "I said turn ya moron. Now we have to drive to Austin to turn around...great. Just great."

He thinks once you've ignored Maggie several times in a row, she should say, "I'm turning myself off. Don't even think about turning me back on until you decide you're actually going to do what I say."

We imagined sitting in a mall parking lot, explaining to the kids, "Maggie won't come back on, so we don't know where to go. We're going to have to sit here for a little while. Just watch Kung Fu Panda again. Yes, you can have another juice box. Sorry boys, but Maggie is mad at daddy."

Much laughter happened in the front seat by this wife, listening to Aaron talk to Maggie like she's a real person.

When we were leaving the car dealership on Wednesday, with no new car...without the car we own...in a rental car that we were going to have to pay for with our next born child, Maggie tried to make us run our car into a wall.

She did.

We were at a stop light and she told us to turn left.

We looked to our left and saw...

A brick wall.

She wanted us to run our car into a brick wall.

Aaron said, "Maggie...girl! We can't turn left. There's a wall on the left."

I gently touched Aaron's hand and said, "Honey...she knows. She knows what kind of day this has been. Maggie is trying to put us out of our misery."

Need a Great Doctor?

Well, the Hendricks are here to help!

Friday, I took the kids to Dr. Bacak's office and I was reminded, once again, how much I love our doctor and his entire staff.

I haven't talked about Dr. Bacak and his office in a long time on our blog, and I should be ashamed of myself since they are such a sweet part of our life.

Before making the switch to Dr. Bacak, we were a part of a large health care system, and there's just no other way to describe it...we felt like a number...like cattle. Our doctors were okay. They were nice, but we never knew the people who worked in the office, never felt special, or cared for in any way, and didn't even know that going to the doctor could be any different!

As many of you know, the Lord brought Dr. Bacak (he's actually called The Amazing Doctor Bacak in our parts) into our life during one of the darkest times for our family.

Our baby boy was sick.

Very sick.

You can read about Hayden's life prior to Dr. Bacak's involvement here.

Before coming to Dr. Bacak, we had seen many specialists, and even paid out of pocket to take Hayden to Texas Children's in Houston.

We were feeling pretty hopeless after having many doctors tell us they had no idea what was wrong with our son or why he was getting worse and worse.

The Lord has been good to us, and used Dr. Bacak incredibly to bring healing and health back to our son.

My favorite thing about having the Amazing Doctor Bacak as our doctor is how loved we feel every time we show up at his office.

His entire staff loves the Lord and sees their job as a ministry.

I love that my doctor shares the gospel with his patients.

I love that my doctor prays for his patients.

When Dr. Bacak first began seeing Hayden, it blessed our family so much to know that he and his wife Jenn (and even their kids) were praying for God to give Rusty wisdom to know how to help Hayden. You have no idea what it felt like to us, as parents, to know that our doctor was praying for our child, and asking God to guide him and help him know what to do for Hayden.

When I was having miscarriages, it was so sweet to know that our doctor was praying for us, that he cared not only about what was going on with me physically, but he cared about our hearts as a couple.

When I really may have had cancer (unlike all the other times I imagine I do) it was so comforting to know that Dr. Bacak was already praying for me before I even knew to be concerned.

One time, when I was in Dr. Bacak's office, the boys were going to get shots. All of them. Let's just say they FREAKED out on me. I was by myself with three crying boys. I was on the verge of panic.

Dr. Bacak's nurse (Gabbie) gently calmed the boys down and told them we were all going to pray...and she did. My boys quieted down, and we listened as Mrs. Gabbie prayed that God would make them brave and strong. I was so thankful for how she loved my children in that moment...and holy cow...as a younger mom, after Gabbie said, "amen" I remember looking up at her, blinking back tears, and quietly thanking God for what this older, wiser mom had just taught me. She reminded me to pray...anywhere, everywhere, when my kids are afraid...instead of flipping out when my kids are flipping out. I thought I was going in for shots! I left having been mentored and encouraged by Dr. Bacak's nurse. I left there a mother who is quicker to stop and pray when my kids are afraid.

Does that happen in your doctor's office?

It can!

Besides feeling loved by Dr. Bacak's entire office, I honestly think The Amazing Doctor Bacak is one of the best, most thorough doctors I've ever seen...and because of Hayden...BELIEVE me...we've seen way more doctors than anyone should ever have to!

I love that he listens to me.

I love that his office has lots of toys and books for my kids. There's actually something to do while we wait in the examine room besides get onto my kids for messing with the tongue depressers. Imagine!

I love that he has four kids and UNDERSTANDS what it is like to not only have children, but have a house filled with them. He not only cares about my kid's health, but cares about their comfort (and their parent's peace of mind). He sees our entire family, which just makes life easier in about a million ways.

I love that his staff actually calls you back QUICKLY, and they care about you!

I love that he lets me be a weirdo about some things (like...we do vaccinate our kids, but I only do one at a time...and Rusty doesn't get mad at me, even though I know he probably thinks I'm a hippy).

He conceals his laughter when I tell him I swear I have hair cancer.

He only slightly made fun of me when I sent Aaron in to his office because I thought Aaron was turning into a unicorn.

See...

The man must pray and love the Lord in order to be the Hendrick's family doctor.

If these things are not typical for you and your doctor visits, I hope you'll give the Amazing Doctor Bacak a try!

He has a new number...695-3570.

He has a new location (on the feeder road between 2818 and Southwest Parkway). His new office is gorgeous.

AND

He takes Scott and White Insurance!!

He also takes most other insurances too.

If you love Doctor Bacak and think people are crazy for not having him as their family doctor...you can give your shout out and testimonial here too.

I know I'm not the only one who has been known to say, "I don't know what I would do without the Amazing Doctor Bacak!"

What I love about the post below is...

My friends have called me, or emailed me.

The ones that are as ridiculous as we are say..."That's so funny. I love that you just up and bought a car."

The responsible people in our life have called and I hear them popping Rolaids as they say, "Did you really do this?"

I think you need BOTH kinds of friends in your life.

Well why not buy a car?

We were going to in a few months anyway.

I was thinking a mini van.

Don't laugh.

I know I said I'd never get one, but Aaron is absolutely sure our children have hit every car in Bryan College Station with our doors.

Sorry.

That scratch on your door...

We did it.

That dent?

Just send us the bill.

My boys will love setting it on fire.

We try to make the boys stop hitting car doors.

They won't quit.

No matter how hard we try to make them.

They forget.

Hayden jumps out of the car every single time like he's a bullet shooting out of a gun.

Hayden never eases into anything...not even exiting.

Just think about how much talking I would save myself if I never had to say, "Watch the doors when you get out. Anson, get out and hold the doors for your brother. Don't hit that person's door. Hayden, I mean it...slither out of the car like you're a snake...pretend like you are slime."

The mini van was looking appealing.

I know lots of people love mini vans.

I'm not judging you.

So don't judge me.

I swore I'd never get one.

There's nothing wrong with mini vans...I just don't like them, that's all.

But then, with the door issue and the fact that those mini vans have a mom command center on the steering wheel...I was feeling like I could get over all the bad feelings I have about driving a mini van.

Those things are smart and built for kids. They do all sorts of cool things these days.

We were about to drop a chunk of change on our car to get it fixed, and we don't even want to keep it much longer anyways...so, why not at least look for a car?

Had we done any research on vehicles?

No. I'm so not that person that I wouldn't even know what to type into a google search to know how to do something like that.

Really.

I wish I was kidding.

We had not talked more than three minutes about getting a new car before deciding to go to the dealership and buy one.

We were tired.

We were ready to go home.

My feet were cold, and my socks were nowhere near me.

We couldn't stay in San Antonio another night.

Our options seemed pretty slim.

We know we're ridiculous.

We do stupid things.

Of COURSE I'm talking about when it's not something clear, that's right or wrong in scripture. Aaron leads us so well in those areas. He is the most amazing leader.

But on nonclear things...we know we can do crazy things that make a lot of sense to us, but not to other people.

So we have a back up plan...a system we adhere to when we're about to do something that would make most of our friends (and both of our dads) shake their heads as we're explaining everything to them. God says it is wise to seek advice from people who are older and wiser. We also know that it's wise to get counsel from others before making plans. So, if we even think what we're doing is going to make all the "that" people in our lives say, "What is wrong with you?" and look at us like we're aliens...then we follow our system...our plan.

This works for us.

Right when we feel ourselves getting a little crazy, we...

Call my dad.

We call Aaron's dad.

We call the Garratts.

We call Allen Duty (preferably when we know Kendra will be nearby).

This is the most fool proof plan ever.

If something is even remotely stupid that we're about to do, we would never make it through our emergency chain of command. Those people know way too much about way too many things. Why do your own research when you know Allen and Kendra have already done theirs?

We never got to use our chain of command because once we got to the car dealership, there wasn't anything I liked.

Nothing. Not one car.

And all those bells and whistles mini vans are supposed to have?

Come to find out, they don't have any of the bells and whistles moms actually need..

Like the eject button, or the sleeping gas button, or the button that summons a Fraggle out from under your seat to go retrieve a pacifier, or do an entertaining dance/singing number for your kids, or gnaw open the plastic on a juice box straw.

Those were the buttons I imagined the mini van having...and they don't.

If they had those buttons, I'd look dorky all the way down the road.

I was so unimpressed.

Aaron was not buying something new without actually thinking about it.

I think the new mini vans have the Fraggle, but they are expensive.

Used..Aaron would have done.

New...no.

I looked at the used mini vans and wanted to gag.

Besides the fact that you could not eject yourself or your kids, these vans had been detailed...cleaned up spick and span to sell and still they were FILTHY.

You know I love children...but kids are gross.

They ruin cars.

I know that.

I have four car mutilators of my own. I love them to pieces, but really...is there any question about it? Kids are plain yuck in the car.

After being in our rental for one day, you could hear Aaron as he was cleaning up the car to return it saying, "How do they do this? In one day...how do they do this?"

A used mini van? Um...no. I just don't want someone else's kid nasty in my car.

Sorry.

After looking at two mini vans, I turned to Aaron and said, "These are out of the question. Absolutely not. No way."

If I'm driving a mini van it will be brand new...no exceptions. I'm not driving someone else's kid's boogers and stomach virus contents around town. No thank you. Not going to happen. I'm not going to ride in a mobile motel 6.

I would rather have my car that's on fire than a "new" nasty car.

We've always bought used cars...and they were clean...but they were not mini vans.

I guess the only people who buy mini vans are people with lots of kids. So, the used ones are pretty scary.

Again...if you've bought a used mini van, I'm not judging you.

You're normal.

I need couseling.

We looked at other vehicles...and the whole time, I was thinking...

Most people do research...I don't know how they do that, but they do. Most people don't take four kids to the dealership when buying a car. Most people have a better reason for buying a car than, "We just want to go home, the kids are out of clean clothes, I miss my morning smoothie, and we are about to go insane wondering if Jack and Kate and Hurley and Desmond get back to the island. Will they? We need to know brotha."

Are we really going to buy a car and say to Allen Duty, as he shakes his head at us, "Allen...we just wanted to know if they made it back to the island. We had to know. And I wanted a smoothie." Allen would bang his head on the nearest wall.

So no car.

No new car.

No used car.

But not because we're so smart, and finally thought rationally.

We didn't buy a car because I didn't like any of them, and they were dirty.

This story is still not over.

What do you do...

What do you do when your car breaks down in San Antonio on your way home, AFTER you've checked out of your hotel?

Well...

First, we did what I always do.

Go into denial.

I am truly gifted at entering the wonderful world of denial.

If I was lost, and left here after Jesus comes back, I'd be that lady walking around saying, "It's fine.  Everything is going to be fine.  People vanished into thin air?  The world is coming to an end?  That's just not that big of a deal.  We're fine.  Want a smoothie?"

Even though our car was breathing fire, like a dragon, we still were hoping that the car dealership people were actually telling the truth when they said, "We can probably have this fixed for you today."

Let me just mention here, that Aaron and I are both WELL aware that we have an issue in our marriage.

You know how most couples have one person in their marriage who is naturally logical, who thinks through the details, and is ultra responsible?

Well...we don't have one of those people in our marriage.

So in situations like the one yesterday, we know we are set up for disaster when we have to make quick decisions.

Although Aaron is not naturally this person, he has become MORE this person during our marriage, simply because he knows he's ultimately responsible for all the dumbwad things we can get into together...and because he gave up a long time ago thinking I was going to morph into that smart, do your research, don't go with your emotions, never make rash decisions kind of wife.  I'm laughing just typing this.  I would love to be that person.  I try to be that person.  I'm so thankful there are those people.  I just can't be that person.  I wish I could hire one of those people.  If I had money, I would not hire a nanny or a maid.  I would hire a logical person to hang out with me every day.

The dealership man said they could probably have our car ready that day.

Yes, the man's nose was growing as he was talking, but we believed him.

We pulled up to the dealership, they assessed the problem, and then sort of mentioned that we could wait inside the dealership while they fixed our car.

At that point, all the man could see was me...and Aaron.

After he stuck his head in the car, he immediately understood why waiting at the dealership was NOT going to be an option.

He said, "How many kids do you have in there?"

Just four.

Four kids in a dealership for hours.

Doesn't that make you want to laugh?

He quickly offered to call Enterprise for us.

Enterprise came, because "they pick you up."

The Enterprise man walked in the dealership, took a second to look us all over and then said, "They weren't kidding when they said there were a lot of you."

He took us outside, and no joke, they had brought a 15 passenger van to pick us up.

I looked at Aaron and said, "When did we become THAT family?"

We loaded up car seats, snacks, jackets, bags, backpacks, game boys, blankets, juice boxes...you know, the ESSENTIALS you need for ONE day with a bajillion children.

We went to Enterprise, loaded ourselves into a super fly Expedition, and then quickly started to pretend that our life was fine, this is no big deal, let's go have fun and they will call us when our car is ready.  Then we'll go home and sleep in our own beds tonight!

We had promised the boys that on our way home, we had a fun surprise for them.

There was a Wildlife Ranch on our way home.  We knew the boys would explode with excitement when we got there.

Yes, our car was on fire, but we decided we were still taking the boys while we waited for our car to get fixed.

The Wildlife Ranch was a nice distraction.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

We had so much fun petting the animals...well, the boys did.  The osteriches scared the mess out of me.  Those animals are weird and look like dinosaurs.  They also move their face in a freaky fast kind of way at you, and I almost climbed in the back of the car to get away.

After we had been on safari a few hours, Aaron decided to check in with the dealership.

"What time is our car going to be ready," he asked.

Friday was the answer.

Friday is not a time.

It's a day.

It's a day two days after the day we were in.

Awesome.

So after we left the world of wildlife and denial, we came up with a new question...

"What do you do when your car breaks down in San Antonio with four children, and your husband needs to get back home for work the next day but your car won't be ready for two days?"

The answer...

You decide, spur of the moment, to buy a different car.

We had to get home!

Lost was coming on.

More to come...

What a Joke Wednesday

So...

After posting my What do you do Wednesday post, we left the hotel and headed for home.

Ha ha ha ha HA.

Really, my what do you do Wednesday post should have been...

"What do you do when you are sitting in the McDonald's parking lot and your car, you've NEVER had any problems with BREAKS DOWN with four children in it in a town where you don't live."

Huh?

What do you do?

For those of you who know me and my dislike of McDonalds...(I won't even rent the dollar movies from there because I am SURE watching one will make me fat and give me cancer)...I'll tell you what I did...

I mentally blamed McDonalds all day long for what happened to us.

Somehow, I know it's their fault.  I can't figure out how, but I just know.

I'll let you know, REALLY SOON what you ACTUALLY do when you are "broke down" in a foreign land with four children and have to get home so your husband can go to work (and you are completely out of clothes for your children).

I will write about what happened whenever I get to the point where I can do so without going into hysterical laughter, or saying cuss words in my head.

Right now, I need to get lost in Lost.

What do You do Wednesday

New to "What do you do Wednesday?"

Here's how it started.

Want to read about other topics we've covered?

Go here!

I was thinking the other day...

"What did we do before the internet?"

Remember those days?

I hardly do, and I'm sure the reason is, those memories are troubling. I've blocked them out.

Remember registering for classes at Texas A&M on the PHONE?

College students today have no idea what we went through to get our classes.

Everyone who registered for college on the phone should be granted an honorary doctorate.

Not only did you have to push redial 9 million times, you also had to sit in the same room of your house until your schedule was arranged.

We didn't even own a cordless phone at that time.

Nightmare!

Today for our "What do you do Wednesday", I thought it would be fun to hear from everyone what websites they couldn't live without?

What places on the web save your life, save you time, and save you money?

Share your treasures with us!

So Sweet

Kirby sent this to me today.

Made me cry.

The mother of all boys in me wants to bring all those boys home and love em.

My Swoopy Bangs

We took my bangs and our babies to the zoo today.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

I got bangs!

I did!

I was scared.

But I got over it...

and bought bangs.

They are swoopy side bangs.

I love them.

I haven't had bangs in decades.

And just in case there is any confusion...when I say I got bangs, I mean the things that go on your forehead...not a disease.

When I was in 10th grade, I moved from the gigantic city of Deer Park to the tiny town of Madisonville.

Talk about a change.

Although I loved my new home, there were many, many incidents that happened that now, are quite funny, involving this city girl's lack of knowledge about small town life.

Let's just say that when I hear the Bible talk about how we should be aliens and strangers in this world, I always think back to when I first arrived in Madisonville. I definitely felt like an alien there for the first six months.

Some time after Heather "the new girl" showed up in Madisonville, my friend, Corrie asked me and some of our other friends over for dinner.

She lived on a big ranch.

They had cows in their yard.

But it's not called a yard in Madisonville.

It's called a pasture.

Don't call it a yard...don't even call it a really big yard. People laugh.

Cows in your yard...I mean, pasture was normal there, but very weird to me.

I had never known people who had cows at their house.

This friend's family sat around their huge table...all the students sat around the table...and of course we were all talking.

Someone mentioned something about someone else having to kill a bunch of their cows.

"Why did they have to do that?" I asked.

I was from the city, remember, and I prefered to think that meat just magically showed up at the grocery store. I had never really had to think about how it got there in real life.

I hated that someone killed animals, even though I was sitting there, I'm sure, enjoying my plate of meat in front of me.

I'm telling you, I was a city girl to the "t."

"They had bangs," someone answered.

The whole table just nodded their heads, totally understanding what that meant...and then went on to talk about something else. I was appauled. One minute I was eating dinner with kind country folks. The next moment, I was in the presence of heartless moo cow murderers who thought it was perfectly fine to "off" your cows just because of their hairdo.

Sorry.

I was stuck right here at the "kill cows with bangs" part of the conversation and hardly remember the rest of the evening.

I didn't know if I was going to be able to stay in a town with a bunch of hair racists.

I just sat there silently, and as everyone else ate and talked, I sort of went into my own head. I was staring out the window at the Vick's house at all their cattle roaming around. As the cows were eating grass, I began to imagine all of them growing bangs.

I was so sad that someone killed them just because they grew bangs.

So rude.

I kept thinking, "Gosh...I'd eat a cow that had bangs...I bet they are cuter."

I stared at a cow outside, imaginged it with bangs and decided I was right. Bangs would make cows way cuter. Bangs would sort of draw attention away from the cow's really slobbery mouth that never quit moving. I imagined starting a cow salon, slowly convincing all the cows in all the small towns to get bangs.

I could start a bangs refuge for cows who grew them. I would stop the senseless killing of entire herds of cows with framed foreheads.

Later, I got up the courage to ask Corrie, in private why people kill cows just because they grow bangs.

She laughed at me.

Come to find out, the cows did not grow bangs (as cute as that would be). They had a disease that's called "bangs."

That's how it went when I moved to Madisonville.

I'd hear something super weird. I'd ask a question. I was WAY OFF. People would laugh.

Even though I had only moved two hours away from Houston, you would have thought, in some ways, I had moved to another planet.

I'd go back to that planet tomorrow though, if there was a way for us to do it!

Gotta go look at my bangs!

I can't quit messing with them!

They are so adorably swoopy.

Hey Single Girl...

Hey you there...

Girlie...

Yeah...

You...

Sitting at home...in your pajamas...

Feeling sad

Unloved

Uncelebrated

Single

I wanted to let you in on something... Satan is a liar.

John 8:44
...The devil...was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

The Father of Lies.

The best liar ever.

Lying is his native language.

Satan is FLUENT in lying.

He's good at it.

Precious girl...

Lift up your head.

Are you loved?

Yes.

Dearly.

Right now, God is sitting in heaven thinking so many loved-filled thoughts of you, if we were to count them, they would measure more than the sands of the seas.

Psalm 139:17-18
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!

God's pretty in love with you.

He's kind of love sick over you really.

Are you sad today because there's a love story going on in everyone else's life but your own?

Silly girl.

YOU are living a love story right now.

The best love story ever.

Hollywood would be so jealous.

I know...for some crazy reason, we forget...

So let me remind you...

A PRINCE left a far away kingdom in search of you...and then died to free you from captivity.

All because He loved you.

Because of His GREAT love for you, He went to great lengths to come rescue His beloved.

You.

No, His love isn't measured in boxes of chocolate or roses.

He loved you with his life, his rights, his blood and his pride.

Traded it all...

To have you.

To love you.

To serve you.

To heal you.

To free you.

To keep you from believing the lies that you have accepted today instead of flowers.

Your prince has returned to His kingdom for now...but have no fear...He has left you a love letter.

It's kind of long.

Much longer than anything a mere man would ever write inside a pink card he bought at Target.

God has much to say to you. Maybe because He knows you so well, He knew you might forget on days like today...

Isaiah 54:4-6
Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth. For the Lord has called you back from your grief, as though you were a young wife abandoned by her husband,” says your God.

Jeremiah 31:3
Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.

1 John 3:1
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

You are loved.

John 13:34
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

So let's take off feeling poopy and put on all the beauty God has for you today.

Let's put on love for others.

Send some "I love you" emails to your friends and family.

Bake cookies for your roommates.

Get some friends together, have fun tonight and CELEBRATE the love of God.

Psalm 86:13
For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

Happy Valentines Day

I love Valentine's Day.

Well, really...I love candy...and Valentine's Day is all about that stuff.

The boys woke up to a table filled with cards and candy.

They started eating candy before Aaron and I woke up.

Today they get to eat candy all day long.

They don't have to ask if they can have some...or more...Valentines Day is an all you can eat candy buffet.

I kind of watch them all day long to see if it's possible for kids to eat so much candy that they start moving in hyper speed, or throw up, or pass out.

So far, that hasn't happened.

Maybe I should also make it a tradition to schedule a dentist's appointment the week after Valentines Day...and maybe a 5K.

I'll put that on my google calendar for next year.

I slept late.

Aaron knows my love language...SLEEP.

He also knows how to pick out a card that makes a girl SWOON with romance.

Let's just say my Valentine's card had the word, "transvestite" in it.

If that doesn't say love, I don't know what does.

Last night, as I was getting everything ready for all my boys (little ones and the the big one) I was thinking that Valentine's Day is such a great opportunity to think of others, and really go out of our way to love the people around us.

I was thinking about how God does that...daily, lavishes His love onto us...pours it out, onto us, scripture says. How GREAT is the Father's love for us. What a sweet blessing to be a part of God's family, to know that His heart for us, as His children is to LOVE one another deeply, from the heart.

I wish I was this intentional about thinking of the people around me and blessing them every day (minus the cavities).

What a great day to stop what we're doing, and practice loving each other deeply.

Why not email or call friends and family members to tell them how much they mean to us, and how much we love them?

1 Peter 1:22
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.

Ah...Freedom

After I became a believer, I realized something...

I was NOTHING like Jesus.

So, I read all the parts in the Bible that tell you what NOT to do.

The Bible really annoyed me.

I felt like all I did was read a passage that said "Don't do this" and then I'd stop and think, "Stink! I do that all the time...and I do that...and that...oh crud...and that too."

I felt doomed.

For years, I focused on the don’ts in scripture.

For years, I failed to change.

I believe the ONLY reason the don’ts are in scriptures is to show us our sin we need to take off. We do need to take off our sin. Scripture is very clear about that. However, thank God, He doesn’t leave us standing around naked (especially after we’ve had several kids). That's just gross. He doesn't simply say, "Quit doing all this stuff." Instead, He reminds us that there's a way that leads to death (our way) and way that leads to life...and then He begs us..."so choose life."

Deuteronomy 30:19-20
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life...

God has been gracious to us by saving us out of this yuck, and also, giving us His Word to RETRAIN us how to LIVE. The Bible isn't a book of "don'ts". It's a book filled with hope. We can hope in God's Word as believers.

Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

For years, there I was, walking around in my old, sinful clothes...all the dont's in scripture. Every day I would pray that God would help me stop sinning. I wanted Him to change me…I wanted out of my yucky, dirty, sinful clothes. So, I would strip down naked. I would take those old, icky clothes off. But I never put clean ones on to replace the yucky ones. So, I would stand there, naked, cold, shivering…and my old, dirty clothes would start to look attractive again. It’s just easier to do what we know. It's easier to wear what we wore.

Read Colossians 3:12 and Ephesians 4:22.

God is saying in scripture to get rid of our old clothes…BURN THEM…and PUT ON the clothes He has laid out for us. WHAT BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES they are! Our Father has great taste. This is why there is NEVER a passage about taking off sin that does not conclude with a passage about what to put on instead. God never leaves us naked! Never!

One of my HABITUAL sins...as in this sin defined me, made me who I was, and was so a part of me, I couldn't imagine ever being free of it was...

ANGER

I was quick to become angry.

I was a jerk with my mouth.

I was impatient with my kids.

I was a shrew.

So, I'd wake up every morning and vow, "I'm not going to be an angry, yelling, impatient lunatic today."

And then I'd be one all day long.

I didn't know how to stop it.

I'd go to bed at night, lie there and think, "What is wrong with me, God? Are you real? I said I didn't want to be a witchy wife and mom today. I confessed that the way I act is wrong and sinful. I want to stop it. But then I was still awful today. My kids look at me like I'm Cruella De'ville. I'm acting exactly the way I don't want to act. I think it would be better for Aaron and the kids if I ran away. So...am I just broken? Do you help other people and not me?"

What was the problem?

How could I want freedom, but not see any change in myself?

The problem was...my eyes were on my sin.

They were on "what not to do," instead of being set on the beauty of the gospel, and the truth from God's Word.

My eyes are supposed to be on Jesus, and all the goodness He wants me to put on.

I was only concentrating on what to take off from my life...anger, rage, lack of self-control.

Instead, God wanted to CLOTHE me in things like, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness...

So here's what I did.

I confessed my sin.

To God...

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

I said I was sorry. I needed God to help me. I needed Him to forgive me and teach me a new way.

I also confessed my sin to Aaron...and anyone else that would listen, promise to pray for me, and hold me accountable to growing in godliness. I did NOT confess my sin to people who I knew would help me justify my actions. We all have those friends. Those were not the friends I needed.

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

But then I had to figure out what I was supposed to be training myself to be like, from God's Word. What was the goal? I knew what NOT to do, but what was I supposed to be DOING?

I had to figure out what things to put on.

I had to go to His Word and hear His desire for what should be coming out of my mouth.

I had to enter INTENSE training!

I studied these verses...I memorized a lot of them...and I wrote them on note cards and put them all over my house.

Did our house look like a crazy lady lived in it? Yes. Did I care? No. I was desperate, for the first time in my life for real freedom. I did NOT want my kids learning my sin. I was hurting everyone I loved. And besides, scripture warns us...when our kids are around an angry mom with no self-control...they will learn our ways. My kids were obviously inheriting my lack of self-control, and foolish nature.

Proverbs 22:23-25
Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.

Sorry...there's just no other way to say this...

That verse scared the doo doo out of me.

Instead of waking up and thinking, here's all the things I'm NOT going to do today, I would ask God to help me build my kids up with my words that day...to help me love others around me with the way I spoke to them. I asked God to help me to say kind things, to bless others with what came out of my mouth. I asked God to help me talk in a sweet, gentle voice. I asked God to help me trust Him...that His way...His ideas for how I should be acting and thinking were better. Sanctification is definitely an act of faith!

I also asked God to show me what "provisions for the flesh" I was making.

That means, what were the things I was doing that were NOT helping me to get rid of my junk?

For instance...if a girl is struggling with gossip, making provisions for the flesh would mean, hanging out with that certain friend who you KNOW drags you deeper and deeper into that sin. During times of retraining, I think identifying provisions for the flesh are so important. Maybe you can't be around that person for awhile, during the time the Lord is doing an overhaul on your heart.

I had to identify the things that were "setting me off." Sometimes, I was stressed out and angry because my life was stressful. I was doing way too much and trying to mother small children. There were many other issues as well...but that was one of them.

I had to be very intentional during this time of retraining.

It took time.

I failed a lot.

I cried a lot.

I would read those verses about the heart, about anger, about my mouth and beg God to make those things true in my life.

Little by little God changed me.

In a relatively short amount of time, God had taken a sinful pattern in my life...sins that REIGNED and RULED over me, and had for my entire life...and He freed me from that nasty.

Now, although I have times of being ugly with my mouth...I mess up...I'm not always gentle...I'm not always patient...I'm not always kind, BUT those behaviors are NOT the norm for me, like they used to be. I still struggle, but not every day...not even every week and certainly not all day.

Here are some great articles by John Piper about certain major sin areas. If you struggle with any of them, I highly encourage you to read these.

Freedom is real.

God is powerful enough to save us AND change us.

We can hope in His Word!

Struggling with Pride?

Struggling with Bitterness and Anger?
(I think EVERY woman should read this.)

Coveting?

Envy?

Impatience or Trusting God with you future or finding you a spouse?

Lust?

Shame?