Will We Ever Get Past Chapter 2?

Photo by Jessica Schmale

Chapter 2 made me cry a lot.

Bottom line...I want to love Aaron better and felt horrible that I haven't been doing that.

Last night, I went outside and sat with him as he worked on our car.

I said, "I want to love you better."

He said, "I think you do love me really well."

"No I don't! I want to get better at enjoying you, prizing you and cherishing you."

He looked up from what he was doing and said, "I think you do enjoy me."

"No I don't!" Sheesh. What does he know?

Aaron looked confused. He said, "I think we do enjoy each other. I love being with you. We prefer one another over anyone or anything else..."

It was sweet for him to want me to know he feels loved, and maybe all the self loathing this past week over not loving him better was a bit dramatic.

BUT...I know that I don't love, enjoy, cherish and prize Aaron as much as I know I could...and even want to.

We talked more about it this morning. I admitted to him that lots of times, I'm glad he's home from work, NOT because I'm glad to see him, but because I need help.

It's those small things that I want to work on and remedy.

He called it guarding against the "tyranny of the urgent."

The most pressing thing in the moment seems to get our attention (like babies crawling up your legs while you're trying to cook dinner). We are glad our husbands are home, but not because we have missed them, and are happy to see them, but because that baby needs to be removed from our thigh.

Life is busy.

As humans, we are EASILY distracted from what really matters.

Thankfully, in God's goodness and grace, He has given us His Word.

What matters? What will last?

1 Corinthians 12:13
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

One of my favorite Psalms...and something I pray over myself and my family...

Psalm 119:37
Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word.

I don't want to waste my life. We're prone to do just that. We give our love, our time and attention to worthless things. Thankfully God's Word redirects our priorities and teaches us what's important. Titus 2 gives us a great place to start...some wonderful things to concentrate on, and grow in...things we will NEVER regret. Our life will not be wasted loving our husbands, our children, managing our homes well, growing in purity, kindness and wisdom.

If you're like me, then this chapter about loving your husband hit you hard.

It's good to go to the Lord and our husbands with a repentant heart, asking God and our husband how to love better.

However, once convicted, we need to repent...and once we've repented, we need to lift up our head, not wallow in regret...instead, because of God's grace and goodness in giving us His Word, and convicting our hearts, we can begin DOING the right, God honoring thing. In this case, LOVING our husbands better and sweeter.

2 Corinthians 7:10 (Amplified Bible)

For godly grief and the pain God is permitted to direct, produce a repentance that leads and contributes to salvation and deliverance from evil, and it never brings regret; but worldly grief (the hopeless sorrow that is characteristic of the pagan world) is deadly [breeding and ending in death].

So what are some things we can start doing TODAY to put on love for our husbands, to enjoy them, cherish them and prize them?

Here are some tangible things I want to do better. It's funny, because these are NOT big things.

1. When Aaron comes home, I want to stop what I'm doing and notice him, greet him and really speak to him. Man, I already feel like such a lump.

2. Aaron and I were talking this morning about when your family grows, you have to make a purposeful effort to be near each other as a couple. Affection may not always come natural or as often, because someone is always holding a child. So...we are going to pay more attention to making sure we are sitting next to each other, and things like that when we're home.

3. We're going to be intentional about touching one another. When you have lots of kids, you are ALWAYS touching and loving on someone...I hope. But, we want to be purposeful about how we touch one another. I want to hug Aaron when he leaves for work in the morning, and every chance I get in the evening. As a whole, our family is very affectionate to each other. We simply want to make sure that as the parents, we are not just hugging, kissing and cuddling someone in this house...but we're doing those things with EACH OTHER as husband and wife.

4. I want to do better about making sure that Aaron feels like he's the most important person to me...my best friend. This means, for me, making sure he hears all breaking news FIRST in our home. This means answering my cell phone when he's calling and I'm talking to someone else. Again...what a lump I am.

Bottom line...God has given us a loving warning and command to grow in friendship love with our husbands. I am convicted that I treat Aaron in ways I would NEVER treat my friends. How ridiculous of me.

No matter how far gone we are...whether we just need to tweak some things, or change everything, God will help us do it! Feeling like a lost cause? Read Deuteronomy 30. What hope there is in Christ!

The entire Bible is a story of God doing the impossible, of taking situations too far gone, and too hard...situations that seem hopeless and RESTORING them.

No matter how far gone things are, because of God's goodness, love and grace, we can TODAY start growing in our friendship love with our husband.

What are you going to do today to love your husband as your friend...to enjoy him, prize him and cherish him? It's nice to make lists and think on the big ideas, and issues, but it's also easy to stop right there and not actually do ANYTHING. Let's be a DOER of God's Word TODAY in the life of our husband.

Part of the truth of the gospel is, God can change us...He makes all things new, and His mercies are new every morning.

Today is a new day. I pray we go to bed tonight having loved our husbands better TODAY.

Married girls I mentor...I will be asking you this question TODAY. Be ready.

I think I'm turning Japanese

Last week, I drove a man truck.

In a moment, I'm about to GRILL by myself on a man grill.

Who am I?

Yay for Adoption

Entire article below copied from the gender blog...

SBC Messengers Enthusiastically Support Moore's Resolution on Adoption

Jeff Robinson
June 26, 2009

Messengers at the 2009 annual meeting of The Southern Baptist Convention in Louisville on Wednesday overwhelmingly passed a resolution proposed by Russell D. Moore promoting adoption and orphan care.

The resolution encouraged every Southern Baptist family to pray about whether God wants them to adopt or provide foster care for a child or children. It also called on Southern Baptist and other evangelical churches to devote a Sunday each year to emphasize "our adoption in Christ and our common burden for the orphans of the world."

Moore, who serves as senior vice president for academic administration and dean of the School of Theology at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, knows well of which he proposed; Moore and his wife Maria adopted two of their sons from a Russian orphanage a few years ago.

Moore hopes the resolution will provoke deep thinking that leads to action among Southern Baptists regarding the Gospel significance of adoption and orphan care; all who are saved by God’s grace were once orphans who were adopted into the Kingdom of Christ.

The number of adoptions among evangelicals has steadily increased in recent years, yet the need is profound: in the United States alone, more than 500,000 children were in foster care system in 2005, the last year for which federal statistics were available. About 115,000 were waiting for adoption.

“Something is a foot among Christian families and churches of virtually every kind,” Moore said. “God is calling the people of Christ to see the face of Jesus in the faces of orphans in North America and around the world. Southern Baptists have affirmed our belief in the authority of Scripture, and the Bible tells us pure religion is defined by care for the fatherless.

“We’ve been defined by our commitment to evangelism, and there is no greater field is 'white unto harvest’ right now as children in orphanages, group homes, and the foster care system, children who don’t know a parent’s love and who don’t know the name of Jesus. When Satan wars against children, we should be the ones who have compassion on them, even as Jesus did and does.

Moore authored a deeply personal and compellingly theological book on adoption that was published in May by Crossway books, “Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families &Churches.” In it, Moore argues that the church should view the adoption of orphans as a crucial part of its mission precisely because God has adopted helpless sinners to be His sons.

“The resolution by itself isn’t going to spark an orphan care movement among Southern Baptists,” he said.“Neither is my book, and neither are a thousand manifestoes. Only the Holy Spirit can do that as local churches start to embrace a vision for orphan care.

“The resolution though was meant to prompt some questions. If one messenger in the Convention hall is moved to simply pray, ‘Lord, how would you have me minister to orphans?’ then the resolution is a success, in my view. If one pastor is prompted to ponder how he could preach on adoption, or lead a foster care ministry among his folks, then the work is starting.

During the introduction of the resolution, Moore appeared on stage with Timothy and Benjamin, the sons he and his wife adopted seven years ago. More than 8,000 messengers met the resolution and its unanimous passage with lengthy, enthusiastic applause.

“I was overwhelmed with emotion on the platform to see my sons, two little ex-orphans, looking out on a sea of yellow ballots as thousands of Southern Baptists affirmed that we want to be the people who love fatherless children,” he said.

“I realized that, in an alternative story, my boys would still be in an orphanage, not knowing even the name of Christ Jesus. But here they are, at the Southern Baptist Convention, calling by their very presence the world’s largest Protestant denomination to recognize there are hundreds of thousands of children as helpless and alone as they once were.

“My prayer is that twenty years from now there are thousands of Southern Baptist pastors, missionaries, and church leaders who started their lives as orphans, now preaching the gospel of God their Father.”

Feminine Appeal, Chapter 2 part 2

"Ever since Adam and Eve took that fatal bite of forbidden fruit, our natural human inclination has shifted toward sin. Therefore, we are not naturally prone to love. We are not naturally inclined to be passionate and respectful towards our husbands. In fact, if we do what comes naturally, it will be wrong most of the time!"

Mahaney is obviously referring to our husbands here, but I've found these things to be true in every single relationship I have...not just my marriage.

Sin ruins everything. Unless changed by the Lord, through the teaching of His Word, my natural ways of doing everything are sinful.

"Where sin is present, warm affection dissipates. Anger, bitterness, criticism, pride, selfishness, fear, laziness - all vigorously oppose tender love. This love cannot survive in a heart that harbors sin."

Mahaney goes on to talk about how "our emotions are a warning system God graciously gave us to attract attention to the sin in our hearts."

Often times, I get so sick of being such an emotional mess. I've never thought about my emotions being a gift from God. I get so weary of dealing with them, asking forgiveness because of them, that I've never stopped to think that God has given them as a gift.

This doesn't mean I get to be an idiot and give full vent to my emotions. Scripture says that's what fools do...give full vent to their feelings and lack self control. The Bible also says that the heart is wicked, who can trust it? However, to take anything about our humanity and dismiss it might be foolish. God created us, in His image. Emotions are not bad. He gave them to us. Our emotions DO probably need to be sanctified though, like anything else about us.

What a neat thing to think that God has given me emotions...anger, frustration, jealousy, etc. so that the sin inside my heart, that God so greatly wants to free me from, can be revealed and dealt with through His power and strength.

It's interesting to note that God feels all the same emotions I feel...it's just...well...He feels them in the right ways, over the right things. He gets angry when people aren't worshiping Him. He is jealous for people who rightly belong to Him, just like a husband has every right to be jealous for his own bride. I get angry because my kids won't stop slamming the door while the baby is asleep, and I get jealous when someone else has nicer legs than I do.

Most marriages...even good ones...are filled with a lot of hurt. That's just a natural part of marriage, I think especially if you've walked into marriage not knowing what God has to say about male/female roles and what the goals are in a godly marriage. We were four years into a marriage before learning a lot of basic things from God's Word about marriage. Imagine the damage we did to each other during that time. Doing things our own way, instead of God's way proved to turn out exactly the way God said it would...disastrous.

But, even if you did know what God teaches about marriage and male/female roles, love someone hard enough, and they can hurt you deeply. Sometimes they mean to. Sometimes they don't. We're sinful! All of us.

All that to say, there can be a lot of hurt in a marriage. The only hope for any of us to forgive, move on, grow and heal is the hope of the gospel. We're sinful. Our sin messes up everything good that God created. However, through Christ's example, we can learn to forgive like we have been forgiven, and love in the same manner we have been loved.

I know that after reading this chapter on loving Aaron I had to admit, that there are obstacles to even wanting to love my husband the way I know I should, and when I'm honest, they all go back to places buried deep in our marriage, where I've been hurt. Places that obviously aren't fully restored.

These are things I need to be in prayer over, and need to be talking to Aaron about, and I simply would not have done that had it not been for my emotions. When I read this chapter last summer, my emotions were something I could not dismiss. I heard Mahaney teach from God's Word about loving my husband and my heart said, "No." My emotions, praise the Lord, were red flashing lights warning me that my soul was littered with some trash that needed to be brought before the Lord.

I didn't want to get better at loving Aaron.

I wanted to get better at having a pretty good marriage without having to go back and fix some things.

How ridiculous, I know.

When I read this chapter last summer, instead of being excited about learning to love Aaron better, I was a little ticked off. I was a little annoyed at Carolyn Mahaney and her stupid perfect marriage. Honestly...I read this chapter and thought, "Who wouldn't love CJ Mahaney? Talk all you want Carolyn, but my marriage is different from yours. You have the perfect family, and people like you make me want to throw them off a cliff."

How's that for honest?

Praise God for emotions. I didn't know much, but I knew it was probably wrong to want to throw the beloved Carolyn Mahaney off a cliff. I needed my heart to be searched by God. I needed Him to sit down with me and talk through the ugliness in my heart. Why didn't I want to love Aaron better?

Sin.

Unforgiveness.

Comparing my marriages to other marriages around me.

Not being honest with Aaron about why I was truly hurt.

Sometimes that just stinks to have to be all the way honest. Sometimes the reasons why we're hurt are so embarrassing, and to confess the hurt, we have to confess how needy we are, or how weak, or how much we're broken inside and need help from our spouse.

I know we have to do it, but I'm just saying...it's hard and pretty much sucks.

So I did. I've told Aaron everything, and we've had some really hard talks this year. I'm not going to pretend that we're able to sum up or solve all the hurt and pain in short sitcom sort of sessions.

If you're hurt and you're a mess, sometimes these things take time, and I get pretty sick and tired of people thinking you can always just slap a scripture on something and be done with it. Sometimes you can. Sometimes healing is a journey. We DO need to be moving forward, but sometimes restoration looks more like a lazy stroll than a long jump.

I DO believe there are answers in God's Word for everything, and that God will heal and restore all things. I'm just saying sometimes it takes time. It takes persistent prayer. It takes being honest, again and again, when you're sick of being honest. Sometimes, you are honest, and divulge such hard awful truths to your spouse, and if that's not bad enough, they still don't get it, and so you have to say those hard things again. Ugh. Hard. I hate it.

Marriage is not easy. But dang it, at the end of this, I want to be able to say that I have worked to exhaustion, giving up all pride to know Aaron and to be known by him. Hiding is easy. Intimacy is difficult.

For a long time, I grieved over not having an "issue free" marriage. I know many couples like that, who do have problems, but their problems seem less, and lighter. They came into marriage better prepared, spiritually. I coveted the road they were walking. Now, I know that wasn't the road God called us to, and I'm getting better at accepting that. I am thankful for people whose marriages are so healthy, and so good I can hardly relate with them because they give me hope...for us, and for our children who will hopefully also walk into marriage, sinful...yes, but better prepared to live within the roles God lovingly created for them.

But, I want to give up all pride and pursuit of being "the perfect couple" who gets it right every time. No thanks. Our marriage is strong. I never doubt its stability. But we will never hide that we have issues...real, make your brain hurt kind of issues. We are not perfect. We may never be able to play the role of the perfect couple you can look to so that you know how to have a first prize marriage. I do hope that people can look at our marriage and learn what it looks like to love like Christ, and forgive like Christ. I pray people see grace, faithfulness and the story of the gospel. I want Christ to be made known in our weakness, and for Him to get the glory for the grace, forgiveness, honesty, and intimacy God has brought about through healing our hearts in this home. We are two sinful people, holding on for dear life to the gospel. What a miracle that God can take two fallen people, teach us, love us and grow us so that here we are...firmly standing.

Your turn.

You don't have to be as honest as I am. Don't feel pressured to divulge hard, private things unless the Lord tells you to, and certainly NOT if your husband would be hurt by anything you say.

But what spoke to you and challenged you about Mahaney's teaching on our hearts, emotion and sin?

Were you encouraged by the gospel, and the hope we have in our marriages because of what Christ has done for us and in us?

Does anyone need to sit down with the Lord, and then sit down with their husband and have a good, long, snotty crying talk?

Feminine Appeal, Chapter 2

I'm going to break this week's post up into smaller posts. There's just too much to cover. Questions for discussion are intertwined within this post and are in bold.

Mahaney says...

"In the Broadway musical Fiddler on the Roof, the main character, Tevye, asks his wife, Golde, "Do you love me?"

Listen to her response....



"If that's not love, what is?"

Mahaney says...

"The form of Greek in which the New Testament was written employs at least five words to distinguish various kinds of love. The word for love used in Titus 2:4 is phileo. This word describes the love between very close friends. It is a tender, affectionate, passionate kind of love. It emphasizes enjoyment and respect in a relationship."

Let's contrast phileo love with agape love.

"The Greek word agape refers to a self-sacrificing love. It's a love that gives to others even if nothing is given back...Yet Paul didn't use agape in describing the love we are to cultivate for our husbands. He chose phileo."

Was this hard for anyone else? How did God speak to you through Mahaney's teaching on agape love vs. phileo love?

I will serve Aaron all day long. The longer I'm married, and the more children we have in this home, it is easy to say I love Aaron and use things like clean clothes, dinner and a full pantry as exhibits A, B and C.

But, that's simply NOT the love that Titus 2 is saying we need to learn for our husbands. We ARE to have agape love for them, but Paul uses phileo as the type of love we are to be growing in towards our husband.

We're to be growing in the way we love our husband as our friend. The evidence for whether or not our relationship is growing, in the way we love our husbands should include...are we growing in how we respect our husband, enjoy him, know him, cherish him and prize him?

Yesterday at the pool, my mentor was there. I said to her, "I stink at this! I want to learn better how to love Aaron this way...to enjoy him as my friend."

I admitted to her that my standards are too low (of course). I have a great marriage. There is such peace in my home. As many of you know, our marriage used to be yuck. But over the past 8 or so years, it's been a sweet blessing. I do respect Aaron. I do enjoy him. He is my best friend. I do cherish him and prize him. But, I have not been purposeful in learning, practicing and growing in friendship love with my husband. I don't actively work at those things, or ask God to grow our relationship in that way. Those elements of phileo love are there, thankfully, but only because of God's goodness and grace. I want to GROW in them though...on purpose...concentrating on those areas.

I have been neglecting the kind of love that Titus 2 is saying I should be growing in towards Aaron. Plain and simple. That's easy to do with a busy life and lots of kids.

Titus 2 begins with a command to older women to TRAIN younger women to love their husbands. We are to be growing in how we love our husbands (as our friend...enjoying, respecting, cherishing and prizing them.)

This brings me great comfort. Mahaney points out in this chapter that this kind of love for our husbands does not come naturally, or obviously, we wouldn't need training.

I don't have to beat myself up for not actively pursuing phileo kind of love with Aaron. I just need to repent, ask God to help, and confess these things to my mentor, and ask her to train me and hold me accountable.

What's our plan for growing in phileo kind of love for our husbands?

How are we growing in the way we prize, cherish and enjoy our husbands, like Mahaney teaches at the end of the chapter?

How can the church community help couples grow in this kind of love?

Do we have mentors who can train us to love our husbands in this way? Are we mentoring younger women, teaching them, and encouraging them to love their husbands and grow in their friendship with their husband?

For those coming from darker places in a marriage, where you not only are NOT puruing and growing in phileo kind of love with a spouse, but are having a hard time loving your husband at all, Mahaney has some great encouragement...

"If we no longer have tender feelings for our husbands, we must seek God's help to learn how to love them again. 1 John 4:19 says that we can love our husbands because God first loved us."

"If your love for your husband has faded, the question is not, "Should I stay in this marriage?" According to God's Word, the question you should be asking is: "How can I, as a wife, bring honor to the gospel?"

"If you are in an exceptionally trying situation with your husband, I encourage you to pour out your heart to the lord of love. He knows, He sees, and He hears: and though your tears may be lost on your husband, they are not lost on your heavenly Father. He is the compassionate Lord who urges us to draw near to Him so "that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Heb. 4:16).

Thoughts on the love part of this chapter?

We'll talk about what keeps us from loving our husbands in the next post.

This Ought to be Interesting

I'm getting the opportunity to review Mark Driscoll's new book, Religion Saves: And Nine Other Misconceptions. I got my free copy in the mail yesterday, and started reading it today. From what I understand, "review the book" means read it and tell people (you) what I think about the book.

Reading + Telling people what I think = Something I probably shouldn't love doing as much as I do!

I love getting free things in the mail. Even a free pad gets me fired up, so imagine my joy when I opened up a package with a new, hardback book inside it. I love books. I love mail. A free book came in the mail. Yesterday was definitely pretty high up on my "favorite days" list.

This book should be interesting.

Basically, an online poll was taken, and people voted "over the top nine most asked questions regarding Christianity." Mark Driscoll speaks to all nine of these topics in this newest book.

Religion Saves: And Nine other Misconceptions covers things like birth control, humor, predestination, grace, sexual sin, faith and works, dating, the Emerging church...you know, things pretty much guaranteed to set a room on fire and make people hate your guts just by mentioning them.

Awesome.

I'm already afraid, and a little nervous about this book.

I like Mark Driscoll. I listen to him frequently. Aaron listens to him sometimes. Aaron's a Matt Chandler man.

I'll enjoy the book, I'm sure.

One of my favorite Mark Driscoll discussions...

Our friend, Josh Hargrove has a man crush on Mark Driscoll. (Maybe question number 10 in Mark Driscoll's new book should be, "Should men have man crushes?") I hope I'm not butchering this story...but, Josh was talking to one of his friends about Mark Driscoll. This friend of Josh's said something like..."I want to punch Mark Driscoll."

At this point, Josh was ready to defend his "boyfriend". Josh couldn't understand why his friend would not like Mark Driscoll. His friend calmed Josh down and said something like..."No. I like Mark Driscoll. I think the things he says are great...but...I don't know...there's just something about him that makes me want to punch him."

I think that's the best way I've ever heard anyone describe Mark Driscoll. He's a great preacher and communicator, but there is something about him that makes you want to punch him.

I love him too, and have learned a lot from him and the resources that Resurgence produces. I'm thankful for how relevant his sermons are, and all the free publications he is responsible for adding to our world. But, I'm not going to lie...I'd also love to see someone fight Mark Driscoll.

So here I go...into the world of Religion Saves.

Got 20 Swag Bucks?

Then you can get one of these cute, all natural toys for about $3 from a really cool company I just found called Euphoria Baby.

I was sitting down to cash in some Swag Cash this morning, and noticed a new store where you can purchase gift cards with your Swag Bucks.

For only 10 Swag Bucks you can get a $5 e-gift card to Euphoria Baby. Hurry! Tell all your earth loving mommy friends! They will thank you.

Here's how this company is described...

If you care about having the safest, highest quality baby products for your little ones then www.EuphoriaBaby.com is a site you must visit!

From BPA-free bottles and sippy cups to non-toxic, organic baby mattresses and truly pure baby skin care, www.EuphoriaBaby.com is committed to fostering a natural lifestyle for the green baby. They offer eco-friendly choices like cloth diapers and wooden toys, and encourage families to go green through Euphoria's Blog for the Green Mama.

Still haven't jumped on the Swag Bucks train? Silly goose! Why not make money while searching online? It's so easy, and doesn't take long to get enough Swag Bucks to get gift cards to some of your favorite stores.

Right now, I'm most impressed with how much bang you get for your Swag Bucks at Euphoria Baby.

Check them out!

Want a Swag Bucks Account? Signing up takes about 5 seconds...maybe. Click the cute picture below, and you're on your way to starting your Swag Account.




You can follow Euphoria Baby's blog. There is also a Euphoria Maternity branch of this family run business. Read about the author here. This business is run by a mother and her parents!

If you're into hippy chic mommying, you will love her blog. I'm not a full blown hippy chic mom. You all know that, but I love my hippy mamma friends who share their personal convictions with me. So for my green momma girlfriends...Enjoy!

A Winner

I'm slowly trying all the recipes people have posted on this blog.

Mrs. Barbara Branan handed me several soup recipes at church to add to the recipe posts.

This one made me a hero. While eating it, Aaron said, "This one definitely needs to be added to the rotation."

Salsa Corn Chowder

2 Tbs. butter
1 1/2 cups finely chopped onions (you can use birdseye frozen chopped onions)
1 Tbs. chili powder
1 Tbs. flour
1 tsp. cumin
1 can chicken broth
2 cups salsa with beans and corn (Since I double this recipe, I buy 2 jars of Newman's Own with beans and corn. See note below.)
16 oz. pkg. frozen corn
1 cup milk
8 oz. pkg. of cream cheese, softened.

Saute butter and onions. (I didn't use the frozen kind. I just chopped up some fresh onions). Mix dry ingredients. Add to onions and butter. Don't let it scorch. Add chicken broth, salsa and corn. Bring to a boil. Remove from heat. Warm milk in the microwave. Add cream cheese and whip together (I used a beater). Spoon into hot soup and stir. Return to low heat until cheese is mixed in. Serve!

I varied it a little. Surprised?

First...I doubled it for obvious reasons. However, this soup fed my family, Aaron's brother, Kirby, Charlie, Asher and McKlayne (she eats as much as Kirby). We still had lots left over, so my family ate it again a couple nights later.

Second...I added some cooked chicken breast. I had some left over in the refrigerator from the night before. Plus, my sons and my husband don't think supper has happened unless meat is in the meal. If I served this soup without meat, they would have eaten it and then said, "That was a great appetizer mom. Now what's for dinner?"

Because I added the chicken, I also added 2 more tablespoons of flour, because I thought I might need to add more chicken broth later to compensate for the meat. I did not end up adding any more broth. So, maybe our version was a hair thicker than it was supposed to be. It was very thick and chowdery...which we LOVE.

Third...the first time we ate it, we ate cornbread with it. Delicious. The next time we ate it, we used tortilla chips. Still delicious.

Fourth...I added salt. Sorry. We like the stuff.

About the hot sauce:

Newman's Own makes a hot sauce with corn and black beans in it. It's $2.79 a jar. I almost always have a coupon for Newman's Own products. Forever, I thought the coupon was for pasta sauce only since it has a picture of pasta sauce on the coupon. But, after reading the fine print, it says it's good for pasta sauce or hot sauce! The coupons are always for 50 cents off. Kroger doubles them, so I get the organic, all natural hot sauce for $1.79 or less a jar.

Thanks Mrs. Barbara! I can't wait to try the rest of these!

Total Church Rides Again

I told you.

This book has challenged me more than any book I've read in probably a decade.

On church leadership, the authors say...

"It is important that leaders see themselves and are seen by others as part of the church. Professionalism is always the enemy of authentic gospel leadership. Leaders are not a special class set apart on their own, having to face burdensome responsibilities and forced to endure a lonely existence. Leaders cannot be detached. They must be visible believers who live their lives openly in the midst of the believing community. Jesus put it into perspective when he contrasted the leadership style of the religious leaders of his day with that of the leaders in his kingdom:

Matthew 23:8-12

"But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called 'teacher,' for you have one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

It is both reassuring and challenging to discover that the shepherds of God's flock are first and foremost sheep! In Romans 12 leadership is a vital gift of God for the church, but one that nestles discreetly among the other gifts (v.8).

...The only demarcation among the people of God is that of function, not position. If my role is that of a leader in the local church, then I am a gospel minister using my gifts to serve God's people. But whatever my role, I am still a gospel minister using my gift to serve God's people. A leader is not a "special" case: he is a servant of the gospel among gospel servants, a brother among his brothers and sisters.

...Many of my minister friends speak of church as something from which they must seek solace. They protect their day off and guard the privacy of their home. They feel the loneliness of ministry, looking OUTSIDE the local church for people who will pastor them and events that will refresh them.

In contrast, the authors of Total Church describe their feelings towards their church, where they see themselves as co-laborers in Christ, not unreachable, untouchable, unconnected leaders...but brothers to their bodies very differently. I love what they say:

For us church is where we find solace. The Christian community pastors and refreshes me through the word of God. Someone put it like this..."If I were to say I needed a weekly day off from my wife and children people would say I had a dysfunctional marriage. So why, if I say I need a day off from church do people not ask whether I have a dysfunctional church family?"

It is very tempting when you're a church leader to become a non-person.

How ridiculous.

Last summer, we went on vacation, and during that time, some sweet friends of ours who are also in our church almost up and moved, something so dramatic and hard happened in their lives the week we were gone. When I got back into town and my friend told me, I said, "Why didn't you call us?" She said something like..."I didn't want to bother you and Aaron while you were on vacation." I was so hurt that she believed she was a job to us. I told her, "You are our friends. You aren't a job." But, it caused me to spend months examining why she would have felt weird calling us with such a huge struggle when we were on vacation. I hated thinking that she felt like our relationship was something that we, as "leaders" in the church needed a break from. I remember that night telling Aaron, "I don't want to be these people we are becoming. I don't want to see people as a job. I want to see them as family."

I know this is the heart of our church leadership at New Life. They are the ones who have asked us to read Total Church. I'm praying for the leadership and the body of believers who make up this new church that we will be real people...real, approachable, honest, genuine, people. I'm praying that the leadership would not fall into the temptation to become cold, stoic, separate, unapproachable, professionals who see God's people as a job to hide away from or run away from. I'm praying that ministry is always synonymous with real relationships. I'm praying we see our leaders as brothers...working through our relationships with Christ TOGETHER, and that all interactions, conversations and the way we relate to them would be as natural and comfortable as relating to our family members.

God, keep us from turning into church leader weirdos.

1 Thessalonians 2:8
We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

Yay for Daddy!

If your life, and the way you live it is supposed to paint for us a picture

of who God is

of what He's like

of how He loves

protects

pursues

provides

forgives

disciplines

encourages

and always wants our best

then

we see Jesus in your painting...

and not in some abstract

I'm not sure what the heck I'm looking at sort of way

No

Clearly we see

details

fine lines

shades

and

shadows

of our Savior in the way you love, serve and live Aaron.

Happy Father's Day

Flashback Friday

One of my favorite flashbacks is a letter one of my favorite Godly, older women wrote. Since we're talking about wife and mommy stuff, I thought this note from Aaron's mom would encourage us all greatly!

Originally posted in Her Hands, in the chapter called, "Wise Women Listen to Wise Counsel."

From Judy (or Aaron's mom...or Grandma)...

________________________________________________________

I grow increasingly convinced that God values children much, much more than we do.

We value a clean floor more than children. We value free time more than children. We value the good dishes more than children. We value going out to eat or watching grown-up television shows more than we value children.

All the world, including the church, tells us that children are a bother, perhaps even a mistake. If you don’t believe that, introduce a family with many babies into your church and see how long it takes for someone to say, “They know what causes that, don’t they?”

We have let the world convince us that a large family is a curse, when the Bible clearly teaches that many children are a blessing, a sign of God’s great favor.

If I had the choice right now, there would be more children in my family. And I think I might be brave enough to let God decide how many.

I remember that it seemed a little frantic around my house when the children were little. I never got “it all” done, whatever “it all” is. There was not much privacy or money or free time. There was lots of laundry and garbage and stinky stuff. The boys were going to be 2 and 4 forever. It was never going to end.

Don’t get me wrong - I enjoyed my boys. But it was all colored by that worldly, selfish, hurry-up-and-grow-up attitude. And then it was over. I woke up one morning and they were almost as tall as me. The next day, or so it seemed, they didn’t even live with us. Now there is not much garbage or laundry or stinky stuff. And there is much more privacy and money and free time.

I’d trade it all in a heartbeat.

I would do laundry around the clock if it meant I could have one more day with my little boys in my home. I want the piles of blue jeans back. If my family had been larger, perhaps I would have grown in wisdom and learned to treasure the tiny victories and agonies of everyday. Perhaps not, but at least it would have lasted longer.

You think they’ll be little forever. You can’t imagine being able to handle – afford – care for another little life. But you can. And it will be over before you know it, with plenty of years left to use the good dishes.

Chapter 1

Some of my favorite lines from Carolyn Mahaney in this chapter...

"Isn't it telling that our culture requires training and certification for so many vocations of lesser importance, but hands us marriage and motherhood without instruction?" (20)

She writes, "...my greatest challenge, by far was my desire to do this "wife thing" well, but I was not sure how to pull it off. I remember thinking: I wish there were a crash course I could take for this."

"Fortunately God hasn't left us to fend for ourselves. He has provided invaluable wisdom for women in His Word."

This chapter is set around Titus 2: 3-5.
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

The three main things I took away from this chapter are...

1. We can use Titus 2 as women as a real, tangible guide for our lives.

At times, my life can get very chaotic and overwhelming. In the first part of this chapter, Mahaney paints a picture of two women whose lives can be described as overwhelming...one, a woman trying to balance a career and her role as a wife and mother...the second, a mother of several young children at home.

Sometimes, if I'm honest with myself, I realize that life has sort of happened to me, instead of me being purposeful about how I'm using my life, my time and my talents. Lots of junk has been piled on my plate that probably doesn't need to be there. Of course, I let those things happen, but the reason I do that is because I have lost sight of God's purpose for me. Through Titus 2, I think the Lord has been gracious to give us guidance. Everyone's lives will look different, but I think we can look at Titus 2 and see that God has given us, as women a very clear idea of what is most important to the Lord. I truly believe we can use Titus 2, like Mahaney suggests as a plumb line to see if our heart for our lives is God's heart.

From Titus 2, we can see that for every women, these things should be important...

Mentoring and being mentored.

Older women are to be teaching younger women what is good, and God defines what is good and exactly what should be taught:

Loving our husbands

Loving our children

Self-control

purity

working at home

growing in kindness

submitting to our husbands

the gospel

So the first question I had to ask myself while reading this chapter is...are these the most important things for me as a woman, or have I made my own list of what's important? Am I living with God's heart for me in mind, or my own made up idea of what's good for me?

2. Mentoring and being mentored are important.

God's heart for women is wrapped up in this idea that we are to be learning from each other as females.

I think it's tempting, as we visit play groups and hang out with peers to try and learn from people our own age. While friendships are a sweet blessing from the Lord, He's awfully clear that the things in Titus 2 are to be taught from older to younger.

Mahaney writes, "Clearly Titus 2 exhorts all women to perceive the value of being mentored and being a mentor. Younger women should consistently pursue more mature women to learn from their wisdom and experience. Older women should prayerfully consider the younger women that God has brought into their lives, in order to encourage and support them."

What a task! This will take time! If God's heart for women is going to be our heart, then one of the foundational things God desires for us is to be connected with other women in purposeful relationships where mentoring is happening. He also wants us to take time to lovingly mentor women younger than us. What a beautiful thing God wants happening in our lives. He has plans for our own growth, and plans for how He wants to use us to grow others. We can waste our lives on a lot of things...but this...this stuff will never be something we look back and regret.

So are we being mentored by someone? Is someone older than us teaching us the things that scripture commands older women to teach?

Are we teaching those same things in Titus 2 to women younger than ourselves?

No matter how many times I read this passage, I am convicted and reminded that God truly desires this for my life. He says this system, of older and younger is important. I want to trust Him! This means, for me...I need to make sure that next semester, I'm tangibly using this passage to set the pace in my life, in my home, and for my calendar.

Am I making time to be learning from someone older and wiser? Am I making time to diligently pursue, teach and encourage the younger women God has placed in my life?

3. The gospel is the driving force behind everything we do as women.

I remember being so thankful that the Lord was at work, healing my marriage and teaching me a new, beautiful way to love Him, Aaron and my children. My marriage was a disaster until reading Martha Peace's book, "The Excellent Wife." Through that book, and the scriptures Martha Peace uses, God began restoring my life and our home.

I remembering being so thankful that the Lord was bringing about so much good in our lives. It wasn't until years later, that I realized I was being extremely selfish, short sighted and missing out on so much of what God was wanting to do through my life and through our home.

I think I thought that God wanted to give me a great marriage, and great kids so my life could be a lot better and sweeter.

That may be true...but if it is true, in the least, it's not the full story.

The truth is, God wants healthy marriages, so that (1.) we can raise up godly offspring...children who know the Lord (Malachi 2:13-16), (2.) because marriage is an earthly picture of how God loves us (Ephesians 5) AND (3.) so that the Word of God is proven true to unbelievers who are watching our lives.

The reason why God wants healthy homes and marriages...THE GOSPEL.

We are to live out the things in Titus 2 so that...

"the word of God may not be reviled." (verse 5)

"an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us." (verse 8)

"in everything [we] may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior." (verse 10)

We are reading another book, as our new church goes through the process of becoming members. It's called "What is a Healthy Church Member."

One quote from the book struck me....

"Chaos then, is the enemy of growth...Where there is no order, there will likely be little in the environment that sustains and nourishes."

That's how I would have described our marriage in those early years. Chaotic. I had no idea that God had a plan...an idea for how our home was to be set up. The result...total insanity. No stability. Which lead to no spiritual growth for us, or for anyone else who came in contact with our home (including our children). I truly believe that if homes are in a state of chaos, that we can try, as the church to teach all sorts of things to people, but we will fail, because we cannot learn anything in a state of chaos, and absolute disorder. Marriage is so intertwined with our relationship with God, that scripture says if a man's relationship isn't right with his wife, God doesn't even hear his prayers.

When our home was in that state of chaos, I can look back, and it's so obvious NOW, that our home was "good for nothing."

We still have a long way to go...but during that time, of total disorder in our home, we were barely surviving. Our constant fighting and yuck led to total self absorbtion. I could not mentor someone...my life was a wreck. I could not grow spiritually. We couldn't have reached out to our neighbors, and if we had...what a joke. Our lives during that time would have proven God a liar. We couldn't disciple our kids or anyone else. God had to heal our marriage, and not just so that we could finally be happy and have a great marriage and home. We needed Him to heal our marriage and our home so that we could live out the Great Commission...reaching out to others, and sharing the gospel with the people around us.

____________________________________________________________

Questions for discussion....

How is Titus 2 shaping our lives? How is it setting our priorities?

Are we mentoring? How are we purposefully teaching the things in Titus 2?

Are we being mentored? How are we purposefully seeking out wisdom from older women?

If we're not mentoring or being mentored...why? If there are no older women in our lives whose lives look like this...let's PRAY that God would bring women like this into our lives! Let's beg the Lord for a mentor!

Are our homes and relationships chaotic? If so, how is this affecting our ability to live out the great commission...to share the gospel and paint an accurate picture of who God is to the world?

How is God's Word encouraging us? Even if none of these things are true in our life right now...the Good News is...God can change all of it. Every bit of it. He can change the way we think, the way we behave, the way we love our husbands and our children. He can grow in us the fruits of purity, self-control, goodness, kindness, submission and gentleness. As He does those things, we can be EFFECTIVE ministers of the gospel to everyone around us. That's exciting! Be encouraged!

Now it's your turn...

What did you learn from this chapter? What TANGIBLE things are you taking away from the things we read this week?

And the Winners Are....

Thanks for playing along!

Hope your swag bucks accounts are growing by leaps and bounds.

I wish you could buy Kroger gift cards from Swag Bucks, since I realized today that we are officially a one loaf of bread per day family.

People keep saying, "How are you going to feed all those boys when they are grown?"

I don't know how to feed them now.

Come on, Swag Bucks. Bring on the Kroger.

Sorry there is no video of the drawing.

I joined the gym yesterday and I'm too sore to hold up a video camera.

Not joking.

So...

Ready?



The $20 Target e-gift card goes to....

Laurie.

Fun times!
The $5 e-Amazon gift card goes to....

Megan!

Hooray for Amazon!

The picture, drawn by Hayden goes to...

Kate of Will and Kate.

He said he's drawing you some animals.

The picture, drawn by Ashton goes to...

Denise Menger.

Ashton says you're getting a sea creature picture.

Your refrigerators will thank you.

I'll slip in a magnet.

Winners...

Please email me so I can get your address!

Another Way to Enter the Give Away!

I'm hosting a give away.

Read the details here.

At midnight tonight the code to receive 6 Swag Bucks will expire.

Tomorrow, we'll draw for a $20 Target e-gift card, and a $5 e-Amazon gift card. Fun times.

I have one more way for you to enter the drawing today.

Not many people have entered, so your chances of winning are pretty high.

Here's how you enter to win the gift cards:

Send an email to 25 friends, and include me in your email (that makes 26 people total).

My email address...

hendrickcrew@gmail.com

Tell your friends you are trying to enter a drawing for a $20 e-Target gift card and a $5 e-Amazon gift card. Ask them to read this post...

Swag Buck Promo Give Away

Just for sending the email you will get to enter the drawing.

If one of your friends signs up for Swag Bucks, of course they can enter the drawing too.

Good Luck, and happy emailing.

Ready, Set, Go!

This is the week we start our discussion on Feminine Appeal.

For now, let's all read Chapter one.

On Thursdays of each week, I'll write something up about the chapter. We'll read one chapter a week.

Here are my initial thoughts...

First...if you are a New Life lady, please, please make sure you've read Total Church and What is a Healthy Church Member, before reading along with us. Those two books are so important to what God is doing and teaching our body. For the sake of unity, please don't read Feminine Appeal unless you've read the books the leaders of our church have asked us to read.

Second...

I really want this to be more of a discussion than a monologue.

I've been married for 12 years, so lets hope that I know at least something about marriage and mommying that someone who is recently married may not...let's hope.

But, I want to be REAL CLEAR about this from the beginning...

Our marriage isn't perfect, and there are many days I feel like a failure as a mother.

I have A LOT to learn, and am looking forward to LEARNING...not LEADING this discussion on Feminine Appeal.

The reason I'm hosting this discussion is not to teach you, it's to learn with everyone else. I respect Carolyn Mahaney a great deal. She has been married a long time. She has adult children who know the Lord and are serving Him passionately. I'm very thankful she took the time to sit down and write a book about what she has learned about being a woman, wife and mother. I expect to learn great things from her. I expect us all to.

I expect us to learn from Carolyn Mahaney...not so much from me.

God has done some great, mighty...miraculous things in my marriage, but He still has a lot more work to do.

And when I say that God has a lot more work to do...and that my marriage isn't perfect...I mean that. We've traveled a rough road. As a young married woman, I remember hearing woman after woman talk about their marriages. It was nice to hear, but their marriages sounded perfect, and I always had a hard time relating. Their examples of where their marriage was weak were a joke to me. I would think, "If this lady only knew how awful I am, and how deeply Aaron and I have wounded each other, she would die. Is there any hope for me at all?"

I think this story sums up perfectly what I'm trying to say....

We were playing a game with a bunch of our friends months ago. One of the questions the game asked was something like..."What was the worst fight you ever had with your spouse?" Basically the question wanted you to divulge what you were fighting about.

We all decided it wasn't appropriate to answer this question...that while some of the answers could be funny, that some of them could be deep, hard, and even disrespectful to our spouse to talk about in a large group during a game.

I said something like, "Um...I can't say what we were fighting about. It was awful and I didn't know if we would survive...honestly...I didn't know if we were going to make it through this one."

I was being honest.

During that conversation, another one of our friends said something to me that made me think she thought that fight I was referring to happened a long time ago...early on, when our marriage was a disaster.

I looked at her and said..."That wasn't a long time ago. That was last year."

I think she was surprised.

The moral of that story...

I have a lot to learn. Aaron and I still hurt each other terribly. There are parts of our marriage that God has healed, and parts that still need to be restored. We're both sinful humans, trying to love each other, love the Lord, learn to trust His Word, and teach all that stuff to our kids. Some days all that stuff goes really well. Some days I wonder if there is any hope for us at all.

I guess that is what learning to walk by faith looks like. We have a great marriage, but it's not because we've finally figured out how to love each other flawlessly. We have a great marriage because we've already been loved perfectly by the Lord, and there's hope for us because of Christ's example, and what He did on the cross.

We still hurt each other. Maybe one day we'll quit. But I know for sure that God has grown in us the fruits of grace and being quick to forgive. We are quicker to put our hope and dependence in the Lord, not in our own strength and good works. We are a lot quicker to realize that the health of our home and our marriage is entirely dependent upon the Lord.

All that to say...let's learn together. Let's be honest with ourselves and each other.

Let's be encouraged by the things written in this book, and by the gospel during this study.

Bottom line...if it were not for the cross, for Christ's example, for His Word...I wouldn't be married today. God is mighty to save us, but He's also mighty to change us. He is good. He can be trusted. He is bigger than our pride, our selfishness, our DNA. He's bigger than hereditary, than "the way we have always been" or "the way things were modeled for us growing up."

That's good news, isn't it?

So lets dig into this book TOGETHER, with our eyes fixed on Jesus, the cross, the beauty of the gospel and NOT on each other.

Every week I hope to facilitate a discussion of each chapter focusing on the tangible things this book teaches. I don't want to summarize the chapters. I want to focus on how we can apply these truths and be doers of the Word. I am praying we are greatly encouraged by the gospel and by one another this summer as we learn together through this book.

Who's reading with me?

Flashback Friday

Originally posted last May. I'll tell you why I chose a camping flash back on Monday.

_________________________________________________________

So...

We get to Garner State Park.

After 5 and a half hours in the car, we all arrived safely.

I didn't jump out or throw any of my kids out.

I've learned to celebrate even the tiniest of victories.

After talking through my "road trip issues" with dear friends, it was made very clear to me why I hate them and Aaron likes them.

One of my friends pointed out that men like car rides because all they do is drive.

This was revolutionary to me.

I had never thought about it before.

For some reason, I think driving is a hard job.

"Aaron has to drive the whole way" is really how my brain thought through road trips.

But driving...

when you think about it...

that's not very taxing.

On the other hand...

crawling over seats to pass out Capri Suns or to re-buckle a child who got caught half way, trying to escape from their car seat...

that's hard work.

After being in the car for an extended period of time, the only place I hope we're driving to is a chiropractor's office.

My neck hurts from turning around to assist in some way.

I have buckled and rebuckled myself 98,000 times from the beginning of the trip to the end of the trip.

And Aaron has sat there and...

steered

as well as watch my rear end crawling into the back seat many, many times.

He admits...the driver has the best job!

I think he may even bribe the kids into being extra needy, because extra needy means extra times when Aaron gets to see my rear end in his rear view mirror.

We get to Garner.

We wait a very, very long time to get our camp spots.

If you go to Garner with a group, make sure to plan something fun for the kids to do while you all check in. We didn't...and we regretted it. Poor babies (and grown ups) we drove forever, get there and then you find out you aren't really there...you have to wait a long time to get all the details ironed out, spots picked and tags on your windows.

The entire time I was getting ready for this trip I googled "cabins in Garner" a ton of times to come up with not ONE picture of the cabins.

Why aren't there pictures of the cabins?

I need to know the lay out.

I need to know what to expect.

In my daydreams about camping, the cabins were made out of trees...so cute...so quaint...so clean...so post card campy.

The real Garner cabins...um...not so post cardy.

When we arrived, I walked in...saw TWO roaches...alive...

I sat down in a chair.

My head was spinning.

I was trying not to cry, but Aaron walked in...I saw him...and I cried a little.

I was so disappointed in myself!

I SO wanted to do this!

I can do dirty.

I can do hot.

I can do outdoorsy.

I can't do roaches.

I'm terrified of them. Remember this?

Aaron saw me, sat down in front of me, was so sweet and said...

"You can't do this, can you?"

I was trying hard to hold back the tears.

"No...I want to though. I don't want to ruin this for you and the boys. I want to be able to do this" I said.

"But you can't, can you?" You won't sleep all week, will you?"

"No...I won't. I can't."

Then he was so precious and said, "What can I do to make this better?"

Ugh. I was so upset with myself.

I did NOT want to be high maintenance.

I wanted to unload our stuff...be manly in a womanly way...and get down to that beautiful river.

I was disappointed in myself.

I should have known myself better. If I had really thought through this whole thing, I would have KNOWN I could not do this.

I'm not this kind of person, and deep down, I know that.

What was I thinking?

Next, Kirby came over.

I almost cried to her too.

It is funny NOW to remember the conversation with her and Aaron.

I was so sad that I couldn't do this. They were so calm.

I said..."I don't want people to make fun of me. I don't want to ruin anyone's vacation..." I was a mess.

They both said that YES, I was going to be made fun of, but this isn't going to surprise anyone.

Aaron even said..."This is why we like you...you're insane."

I don't know why that made me feel better...a normal person would have probably been offended...but it DID make me feel better.

Kirby added..."This is just you. No one is going to be shocked by this. You're eccentric. You're crazy...but we love you."

Aaron says..."What can we do?"

I said, "I would rather sleep in a tent than sleep in this place with the roaches."

When I'm sleeping there are some rules...and one of them is that no roaches can touch me.

That's not so high maintenance, right?

Well...we couldn't just cancel our cabin and have a tent spot because Garner is hard to get into, and the tent spots were unavailable.

So...why not put a tent right outside our cabin? We already had that spot...so that should be fine, right?

No.

No tents are allowed on a cabin spot.

And then there was the whole air conditioning issue.

Yes...go ahead and laugh...

But we brought an air conditioner.

And so did lots of other people, so just shush-it.

It's May in Texas...it's hot.

And again...for VACATION...sleeping in sweat just doesn't seem like something you can't wait to leave home and do.

Aaron was sure he could air condition our tent outside. I believed him. He can do anything.

But, we couldn't have a tent spot, and we couldn't pitch a tent on our cabin spot.

Alas...

Aaron thought of a brilliant plan.

This sweet man drove about 40 miles to the nearest Wal-Mart.

He bought us a huge tent.

He also bought us two queen sized air mattresses.

He drove 40 miles back to Garner, moved all the furniture around in the cabin, made room for our tent and pitched it INSIDE the cabin.

We tent camped inside a cabin with air conditioning.

That's the way the Hendricks do camping, people...

right there...

this is where it's at.

I felt so bad for Aaron having to work so hard on his first day of vacation...but he was wonderful.

Really.

While he was working, I went up to him, practically in tears again watching him work. I said, "Aaron, I'm so sorry I'm so annoying."

He said, "Heather, my mom always used to say that my dad's favorite thing in life is to save the day. It's my favorite thing to do too."

He was right.

Aaron loves to save the day, and he gets the opportunity to do it almost daily. He is amazing, such a genius and can make any bad situation good. It's a gift.

He made a potentially horrible situation wonderful. I thought of how some husbands are annoyed to have to do anything for their wives...and yet, my husband loves me so much that he would do ANYTHING for me...really...I'm not making that up.

The tent remained ZIPPED at all times unless one was entering or exiting, which was restricted to bedtime only. Under NO other conditions could the tent be open.

Once this issue was fixed, everything was WONDERFUL.

We played at the river all day, hung out and laughed with friends at night, and then went to our cabin and slept in a tent, sealed up, protecting us from roaches. We slept wonderfully on air mattresses with our own clean, wonderful bedding...all in an air conditioned environment.

Ah...vacation.

There was one breach in the tent security system...the only time during the entire trip that this mother lost it. More on that later.

We loved the beautiful, clear, cold river in Texas.

It was incredible. We lived down there last week, only coming back to the camp sites when starvation was near.

This river is so beautiful. It's completely clear. There isn't even any sand! Crazy! It's completely white rock. Even the "beach" area is all white rock...no sand in your food...in your swim suits...it really is heavenly.

Hayden caught fish all week with his goggles! Isn't that amazing? He was such the nature freak. Even random strangers at the river would joke about him being Bear Grylls. This was a huge compliment to him!

None of us wanted to come home. Hayden said something like this to someone at church this weekend...

"I don't want to live in Bryan anymore. I want to live by that river for 5,000 days."

Me too!

As scary as my cabin was...and I'm not exaggerating about the roaches. It was infested. Every day, I'd wake up and see new dead ones and new live ones. AND, the entire outside was covered in HUGE dead roaches. Ah! Okay...as scary as it was, one of my dreams DID come true this weekend. I was neighbors with my Kirby for a week! So fun!

What a great trip! If you have never been on vacation with friends...you should go! I had never really done this before where you stay with friends for a week. It will be one of my favorite memories, I'm sure.

I got the nick name, Heather Hilton this week.

Don't listen to any of them!

The worst teasing came from my brother and Mike.

Teasing me about sleeping in a tent in a cabin is unfair since they both brought a Marriot with them to camp in.

Oh...and for the record...

When we got home, the first night, I told Aaron...

I miss our tent. If I really were over my fear of man...if I really quit holding on to the last pieces of sanity I possess...I would take this bed down tomorrow and put up a tent in our bedroom.

I loved it that much.

You Can Thank Kirby

Once you join the online Blue Bell community, you can print $1 off coupons!

We think you can print two per computer.

For sure...when you go and buy Blue Bell...if it's 2 for $8 or something like that...take in TWO coupons, and then you'll get 2 for $6. See?

College students...if you love me, you could go to the computer lab and print me a billion. Is that legal?

Butter Crunch is officially off the shelf.

Could someone come over here and hold me while I cry?

I was telling Aaron that maybe I should call Blue Bell every single day and ask them when Butter Crunch is coming back.

Aaron thinks it's a great idea...that I could really get to know the receptionist...and blog about her response every day. I've already imagined that the receptionist's name is Myrtle.

Maybe I should start tomorrow? Ya think?

I wonder if Blue Bell has caller ID.

In the News!

Our First Friday friends made it on our local newspaper's website. So fun! Thanks for telling me, Melissa!

Ways to Make Swag Bucks

Wanting to know how to make your Swag Bucks Account grow?

You can read this post I wrote several months back. It tells you everything you need to know. If you still have questions, feel free to ask me!

It's rumored that Swag Bucks will be releasing a new gadget you can put on your blog where people not only can sign up (and get you referral money) but also search right from your blog at Swag Bucks.

Yesterday, on the Swag Bucks blog they announced a new feature on their Shop and Earn page.

Basically, Shop and Earn at Swag Bucks means you can shop at some of your favorite online stores, and for every $5 you spend online, you get ONE swag buck.

From the Swag Bucks blog...

We're pleased to announce that starting today, the Shop&Earn Mall is ready to bring its rewards to you! With the new Shop&Earn Favorites feature, you can select only the stores you're most interested in from our collection of nearly 400 name brand retailers. Whenever a new coupon or special offer is released from that store, we'll send you a timely email notification.

Go here for the full story.

And don't forget to sign up for the give away below!

Swim Suit Update

I thought, since I'm doing another Swag Bucks Promo, I'd go back and revisit some other items I've thrown out there to the blogging world recently. Don't forget to enter the drawing below!



This Spring, I wrote about my quest for a modest swim suit.

Long story short, I ended up buying one from a company called, Lime Ricki.

So did a lot of my friends.

How do we feel about our swim suits after about two months of swimming?

Hopefully, the other ladies will tell you their opinions...but I absolutely love mine.

I have never had a swimsuit I like so much. It is extremely stylish, modest and well made.

I don't think I've been to the swimming pool yet (and I go almost every day) when someone has not stopped me and asked me where I got my swim suit. I've talked so much about Lime Ricki, I've thought about asking the company to send me business cards to hand out.

There was one catch...

I didn't love the skirt I bought. I purchased the cinch skirt in black...and just didn't love how it fit me. I also noticed that after only a couple days, the fabric on the behind had begun to do that yucky thing that happens to all swimsuits eventually...snag and get little fabric balls on it.

So, I decided to buy a black skirt from Land's End. I love the length of the Land's End skirt...and I like how thick it is. The Land's End skirts can be pretty pricey, but thankfully, my friend, Ashley K. sent me an email regarding a weekend swimsuit sale at Land's End, so I snagged the skirt for 30% off, plus free shipping.

I bought this one.

Right now, for a limited time, Land's End is running a similar sale. If you want free shipping at Land's End, email me and I'll forward you the information. It's not advertised on their website. I think it's only for people who have ordered with them before. hendrickcrew@gmail.com

Below is the original post about my pursuit of a modest swimsuit, plus the information about Lime Ricki AND a promo code that may still work for their swimsuits that basically gets you free shipping.

If you ordered a swimsuit, will you please let others know your thoughts? Do you like your suit?

I know I heard that for the ladies who are a little more "blessed" in the chest area, the swimsuits just did not work up top. That's the only thing I've heard so far. Thoughts ladies?

___________________________________________________________________

Original post from this Spring...

Long story short, here's where I am.

I want to honor the Lord with my clothing.

The road to modesty has been a long, hard, often times ugly journey for me.

Lots of irritation, justifying my need to look cute, or to be comfortable over loving my brothers in Christ...and lots of looking for the loop holes.

You know...

The loop holes.

My shorts are long enough usually...

But what about at the gym?

What about when I run?

Surely it's okay to show a lot of leg then, right?

Surely me being hot and comfy trumps the clear teaching in scripture for women to dress modestly...right? please? pretty please?

What about when I'm at the swimming pool?

Then it's okay to wear a bra and panties in front of a bunch of men, right?

Men aren't turned on by women in their bras and panties...I tried really hard to live in that land of la-la.

Surely it's okay to show a little of "the girls" at the pool, right? maybe?

It's the pool. I'm swimming.

Or

It's the road. I'm running.

As if a verb and a location suddenly makes everything scripture says obsolete.

What is wrong with me?

So I have this inner dialogue, that goes something like this...

Why?

Why Heather are you such a sleuth at finding the loop holes?

Why does this really matter to you so much?

Why do you need to show a lot of skin?

Why don't you just be honest with yourself about your motives?

Why don't you just admit that maybe...holy cow...maybe something inside you....something in your soul won't let you "be" when you're pushing the line and flirting with darkness. Maybe that's the Holy Spirit whispering, "choose life...choose life." Maybe Heather...you should listen.

Something in me grabs a hold of my heart and squeezes it.

I feel it.

I know.

And yet I fight and I fight.

Why?

Why over this one area?

Why do I put up my dukes and plant my feet firmly in the ground like I'm about to engage in body combat...over something as silly as clothing?

Why do I forget that God is good, and EVERYTHING He does and wants is for my good and for His glory...two perfectly wonderful things.

The dukes are coming down, slowly.

I'm learning...SLOWLY...when it comes to clothing...

To consider other people more important than myself (Phil. 2). Somehow, God wants to take this selfish woman and teach me how to consider other people. What work He has cut out for Him!

I'm learning to not only think of my own needs (comfort, looking oh-so-cute) but to also consider the needs of others (to not have to divert their eyes, or fall into sin at the swimming pool). (Phil 2)

I'm learning to pursue purity, instead of constantly seeking the "line."

I'm learning that being at the pool, ready to encourage my friends, meet new women, and love on my kids is more important than sitting at the pool thinking about myself, my body and what others are thinking about my body.

I'm learning to love the thought of being free from focusing on me so much.

I'm learning to obey the Lord, caring LESS about looking beautiful on the outside (and often times skanky) and instead, growing in godliness and good deeds.

1 Timothy 2:9-10
And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.

Did I mention I'm learning this slowly?

So that's where I am...and that brings us here:

Swimsuits.

Did everyone groan?

Once you get past the groaning because you hate thinking of standing in a dressing room, with surround sound mirrors while wearing a swimsuit while you're NOT tan at all, even a little...then you have to move on and groan over not being able to find a swimsuit that isn't too revealing.

Double groan.

side note: Why oh why do the dressing rooms have to be so well lit?

For the past two years, I've had the hardest time finding a modest swimsuit.

I need modesty AND my suit needs to stay put.

LONG gone are the days when I could lounge by the pool.

Are you kidding?

4 kids = NO lounging

I'm constantly jumping up, bending over, saving someone's life, or jogging around the pool to "have a word" with one of my sons who is giving the life guard an ulcer.

See...I need modesty AND my suit super glued to my body.

What a quandary.

What's a girl to do?

Here's what you do....

Liz Amy posted about this great company, Lime Ricki on her blog.

It's fabulous. These swimsuits are adorable AND cover you up! Who knew!

This website is so fabulous, I didn't want to tell you about it.

There aren't that many swim suits on the site, and I didn't want one of the 9,000 stay at home moms in my community who go to the pool together every day in the summer to buy the same suit I bought.

How selfish of me.

I got over myself (slightly) and decided to share this great find!

I say slightly, because I'm posting a picture of the suit I bought so that you don't buy it too if you're planning on living at the pool with me this summer.

That's the one I'm getting up there...so hands off.

I also got the cutest black skirt to wear over it...as in, I will never take it off in public.

Also...

I found this great coupon code you can type in when you order to get 10% off your purchase.

Type in this promo code...

onmyperch

Another GREAT place to buy modest swimsuits is Lands End.

They have a huge overstock section where the suits are so cheap!

You can browse around by clicking here.

I really can't wait to get my swimsuit in the mail.

No more driving all over town.

I can try it on at sundown in my bedroom.

And, most importantly...

I can be on the other side of town from "the line."

My soul breathes easy.

_________________________________________________________________

Know of any other great places to buy modest swimwear? Please share them!

And...

For all the ladies heading to the pools around these parts, if you buy one of the Lime Ricki suits, you can leave a comment telling people the name of the one you bought...so maybe, you will be the only one at the pool wearing YOUR suit!

Calling All Granola Girls

My next project...

Making my own granola and granola bars.

Anyone got any great recipes? There are a million online, but I don't want to try them all. Someone please help me!

One week, very soon I will do a whole week of posts on homemade goodness.

So far, I've learned to make and can jelly, to make my own yogurt, and how to effectively store and freeze several kinds of veggies. I feel like a cross between a granny and a squirrel.

Another Swag Bucks Promo and a Give Away!

So far, I've redeemed about $500 worth of Target and Amazon e-cards.

I'm being for real.

Swagbucks works.

It's legit.

Too legit.

Speaking of 2 Legit...has everyone seen this?

I will be laughing my way through at least one episode of A&E's new reality show!

Back to the bucks...

I love those swaggy bucks.

The people at Swag Bucks want to tell you all about some new improvements they are making over at www.swagbucks.com

That's nice of them to improve things, but right now, with all the free money I have for simply searching, (or asking you to search) I'm really wondering how things could get any better from Swag Bucks. Free money is already pretty nifty.

But, being the over achievers they are, Swag Bucks is going to let us in on several new perks this week.

All of us have been invited to play along.

Consider yourself invited to a week long Swag Bucks Party.

You can visit the Swag Bucks Blog this week to find out about all the new things they are adding to your favorite new search engine. Apparently, as of today, you can now trade in your video games or used game systems for Swag Bucks. More here...

Still don't know what Swag Bucks is?

Swagbucks is a search engine.

So, when you would normally go to google.com, instead, you go to swagbucks.com

The cool thing...

Swagbucks is powered by GOOGLE!

The difference between Swagbucks and google...you get MONEY for searching Swagbucks.

So, instead of going to google when I need to know stuff like...

"Why is my baby's black falling off" (I actually googled this one time)

or

"Swoopy Bangs"

or

"Hair Cancer"

or

"What on earth is a diva cup?"

or

"How do you make granola bars?"

Instead, I would type that stuff into Swagbucks...and chu-ching...I'll be making money.

Sit A Spell Swag Bucks Promo

If you have never signed up for Swag Bucks, you can do it here:





If you sign up through this blog, you will get SIX Swag Bucks just for joining! Yeehaw!

Signing up is EASY.

As you are signing up, next to "swag code," enter the word HEATHERSCODE (type it just like that).

Wah-lah...you are six Swag Bucks richer.

Then, from that moment on, go to www.swagbucks.com when you need to search for something. Every once in awhile you'll win some swag money! It's extremely exciting.

Check out all the great things you can buy with your swag cash.

I particularly love the gift card section. Just 45 Swag Bucks gets you a $5 Amazon gift card!

It's a GIVE AWAY!

Because I am a Swag Bucks JUNKIE...I am going to give away FOUR prizes this time!

First prize will be another $20 Target e-gift card.

Second prize will be a $5 Amazon e-gift card.

Third prize will be a picture Hayden draws.

Fourth prize will be a picture Ashton draws.

You can enter the drawing two ways...

1. If you have NEVER signed up for Swag Bucks, you can sign up, get your six bucks...and then leave a comment telling me you signed up through this blog. Don't lie. I will know if your pants are on fire.

2. If you are already a Swaggernaut, then you can enter the drawing by sending other people over here to Sit A Spell to sign up. If your friend signs up, they can leave a comment telling me they did, and that YOU sent them. That way, your friend gets entered into the drawing and so do you!

The promo code is good until Tuesday, June 16.

We'll do the drawings for prizes on Wednesday, June 17.

Think of all the things you could buy with $20 from Target.

Think of all the swag bucks you could make just by asking your computer questions.

Who says being dumb doesn't pay off?

Signed up for Swag Bucks, and want to know how to make your account grow?

Read here.