It Takes A Funeral

"Death can be a powerful teacher."

One of the pastors at my uncle's funeral made that statement.

It's tempting to forget that death is real. It's coming.

After a long battle with cancer, my uncle's life on earth ended.

So many thoughts have run through my mind the past five days as I've been with my family.

We've had to say goodbye to a man we love.

Many tears were shed.

and

yet

What a comfort it was for all of us to know heaven has one more resident.

Death where is your sting?

When a loved one dies who you know is going to heaven, what a wonderful feeling...even in the midst of all the pain...to be able to look death in the eye and say...

"Bring it sucka. We're not afraid of you. You have no power here."

Comfort

such a comfort

My aunt and uncle have been married forever. It will be very strange to think of her without him.

I could not be more thankful for the times I watched my aunt serve my uncle over the past few years.

"In sickness and in health."

We all say it on our wedding day.

I've just never thought of the "in sickness part" because Aaron is well. He's healthy.

Seeing my aunt love my uncle during his sickness...meet his needs, serve him, love him, care for him...my life is changed and enriched because of what I got to see.

I'm forever touched by her love for him.

I was comforted this week by God's Word, knowing my uncle is in heaven. I was also grateful for the time I watched my aunt serve her husband.

But I was also reminded, through the life and death of my uncle that death is real.

Life ends.

Unless Jesus comes back, we will all have a funeral.

Proven fact:

1 out of 1 people will die.

What a wonderful teacher death can be as it forces us to examine our lives.

Most importantly, do we know the Lord?

We were told at the funeral to examine and test ourselves to see if we know God.

The tricky thing is, we don't get to make up our own test for whether or not we know Him.

God says to examine ourselves and then HE tells us how to know if we belong to Him.

We don't get to say, "Well...I'm pretty good. I do a lot of good things. I went to church as a child. I said a prayer when I was 18."

Hell will be filled with "nice, good" people who cried one time in church.

Going to church and being a nice person might be good things, but God never says those are the things that are on the "test" (if you will) for whether or not we belong to God.

I was reminded this weekend that death isn't just about where we spend eternity. That's important, but God is so loving. His Word teaches believers how to live...not just where they are going when they die. I'm thankful that His Word is a constant reminder to us about what is important. Before God saved me, I am positive I would have not only died and gone to hell, but I would have also died and had a funeral where there was nothing good to say about my life.

Apart from salvation and God lovingly teaching me how to live, there is no way I'd be married today. I can't imagine the home my kids would be growing up in. I would be a horrible friend. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have any friends. I would be selfish and materialistic. I still struggle with those things every day, but God is graciously teaching me a new way...I'm so grateful.

I was overcome by God's grace and His love this week.

Aaron made the video below a couple years ago. I'm putting it online again today because of the truth it contains. God is loving. He is merciful. He doesn't want anyone to go to hell. So, He gives us clear pictures in scripture to help us examine our hearts and our lives.



These scriptures in this video are not meant to condemn us. They are meant to free us from deception. I think it's easy to trick ourselves into thinking we are saved if we use our emotions as the test. But are we saved according to scripture? That's the only question that matters. Do we know Jesus? Do we love him? And what's the test for whether or not we love God? Obedience. Is there fruit of salvation in our lives?

God is good. He came to give us life. The enemy wants to kill, steal and destroy. Apart from Christ, we already stand condemned. God didn't come to condemn us! He came to free us from the guilt and sin we're born into as humans. He came to break the chains of sin...free us from slavery and instead adopt us into His family. He is good. He is gracious. He can be trusted.

It sounds so cliche to ask, "What do I want people to say about me when I'm gone?"

Cliche or not, I found myself asking that question.

Will God get glory in the way I loved Aaron and loved my children? Will God be glorified through my life as I loved others, loved my friends, my neighbors and God's people?

Does my life point to the faithfulness and grace of God?

Will my death cause people to take comfort in the gospel?

Will that room be filled one day with people that I knew whose lives had been touched and changed through God's love and mercy on display through my life?

Will my family know how deeply I loved them because of how deeply I was loved by God?

Will the people in my life know more about God's love because they knew me?

Will the people in my life know more about God's grace...God's ability to rescue the nastiest of sinners...to change them...because they knew me?

I could write all day about the things that have been running through my mind.

Death has indeed been a powerful teacher for me this week.

Unce D

My uncle passed away this morning.

We're heading out of town to be with our family.

This is the first person close to me that has passed away.

It's very sad, but my eyes fill with tears thinking of my uncle seeing Jesus today.

Hooray for Fall

32 times I've felt summer turn to fall

Yet I stood outside with the boys on the back porch yesterday morning and kept saying...

Isn't this crazy? Isn't it wonderful? Isn't it a miracle?

What is it about the cooler weather that makes dogs, little boys and mothers want to run around in the backyard...act silly...laugh...as though we're being tickled by the refrigerated wind?

No matter how many falls I live through I laugh at how shocked I am that summer really turns to fall.

Giveaway! Cutie Patootie Baretts!

There's a giveaway over at Mama Buzz today.

Too cute.

Check it out!

Back to the Track

If you're just joining us, we're having a discussion this semester about our journey as a family the last couple years in regards to parenting, how to disciple our kids in our home, ministry, community, the church, living simpler, being more sustainable...lots has been going on around here that I've not felt ready to put into words. Here are some previous posts if you need to get caught up.

Introduction

Disclaimer

First Car on the Track

Next Car

Back to the Train




Okay...thanks for being patient as we stopped off at the station called, "Family Discipleship."

Like I mentioned in the earlier posts, Family Driven Faith was a book that impacted our home greatly. We learned that the bulk of discipleship for our children should be happening right here in our home. We had a lot of repenting to do. Lots needed to change in our home.

These changes in our home brought about changes in the way we viewed the church.

This new thought process was broken into two parts.

How do you reach out to families where the parents are lost...or are new believers...or where the father is not saved?

and

How can we as a church help Christian parents (encourage them, provide resources for them, and hold them accountable) to teaching their children God's Word? How can we speak truth to one another in the body about how important each of our jobs are as parents?

This post will only deal with our journey as a couple through the second aspect...how can the church help Christian parents do the things God has called them to do in the lives of their children?

You know how you can go to a church's website...read it...and then visit that church and it's nothing like the things they put on the website?

I'm not knocking churches...I'm just saying sometimes it is easy to say with our mouths what we want our church to be like, and advertise that way when in reality our church is not there yet (or may not even be heading that direction).

Maybe a church says they are all about community and relationships...but then you get there and no one knows each other...and there's no way to make connection a reality.

I've looked at a lot of church websites in my day...mostly trying to help people I love find a new body of believers to join once they leave this town. Most of those websites will say, in some way or another that they want to "help" parents raise Godly kids.

Aaron and I knew one thing for sure...we want our words and our actions to match up.

We want to be a part of a body that says they will "help parents raise Godly kids" and then "helps them"...no more...no less.

So back to Family Driven Faith...we liked it.

We wondered how the author, Voddie Baucham "did church."

Since we respected so much of what he said in Family Driven Faith, we wanted to find out how the church he pastors "did things."

We found out that Baucham's church is part of a group of churches that are labeled "Family Integrated."

So of course we dove right into trying to figure out what that meant. We read a lot about this movement on the internet and bought the book, "Family Integrated Church".

To sum it up (I hope I do this well)...

FIC believe that it's the father's job to disciple his children in the home.

They don't believe in age segregated ministry. Which means...they think there is great value in the church body learning from each other at every age level.

You know how at most churches your family walks in the door and everyone goes to their own "area"...preschool, children's church, single's Sunday School class, single mom's class...men's class...women's class...those are the sort of things FIC would not have. Intergenerational ministry would look more like everyone being together learning with and from one another.

FIC do not have many programs or maybe any programs. They believe that the brunt of ministry should happen through the home (discipling your kids, having your neighbors over, etc.)

They don't have a preschool. Babies sit in the church from birth on up with their parents.

They don't have children's ministries.

They don't have youth ministry.

From what I've read though, they DO encourage older and younger to be involved in one another's lives. They encourage mentoring. Those things just don't happen during the time when the church meets as a whole...they happen during the week as their members live and do life together.

One thing all of the churches that we read about have in common...they are FILLED with homeschoolers. Voddie Baucham's church (and maybe others) actually teach that homeschooling kids or Christian private schools should be the way most Christians educate their kids.

They teach good solid stuff on male and female rolls in the home and in the church.

Men are held accountable in very purposeful ways in these churches.

Discipleship, catechism, and strong theology is usually taught. Really...we were super impressed with the level of discipleship in these churches. They take teaching the Word and teaching a biblical world view very seriously.

We were intrigued.

We thought a lot of what the FIC movement was doing was great.

We thought a lot of what they were doing was super weird.

We couldn't figure out why they taught a lot of things they taught or structured their church around certain ideas that we viewed as "non crucial."

As a couple, Aaron and I were wondering if we could throw out the weird parts (or the parts we didn't see as necessary) and keep the parts that were revolutionary?

Obviously, Aaron isn't a pastor...or wasn't starting a church. At the time, we weren't even part of the church plant where we eventually ended up. So we weren't necessarily wanting to put these things into practice as a church..but as a couple...as parents...as believers...these new thoughts about church, about discipleship...about ministry... that were sparked by our swim into FIC waters were definitely shaping the way we thought about some things.

I don't know if there is a perfect church "model." We weren't looking for one. But this model is very different, yet lead by men who love God and love His Word. So why not hear them out?

You know how there's that lever on train tracks...someone pulls it and the train goes down a different track? That's how I felt.

Off we went...diverting from our original path heading down the track toward Family Integrated Church...trying to be open minded, considering what they had to say about church and ministry. Like I said...we had great respect for Voddie and what he teaches about the family. We couldn't be more thankful for what we have learned from him as a couple about teaching our kid's God's Word. So we wanted to listen...considering his ideas about church even though our initial thoughts were a mixture of "Ooh...right on...that sounds awesome" and "That is insane."

To be continued....

Nasty Beginnings

Nice picture, no?

I'm sure all of the three males who read my blog just bolted.

Note to self: Post bloody baby pictures any time you want to talk about pms or diva cups. That will make the men run away and leave only the ladies to talk about girl things.

What a way to start a post. It's Monday in every way possible around here. Okay...on to the real stuff.

New Life just started a new series covering the Sermon on the Mount.

I've been reading Matthew 5-7 and rereading it. What life changing words.

Matthew 5:3
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

The Amplified Bible says that blessed means...

happy, to be envied, spiritually prosperous

it means to be satisfied with God's favor and salvation, regardless of our outward condition.

There are days when my outward condition makes me forget all that God has done for me. Dealing with a hard behavior in a child, or a hectic schedule, or a difficult relationship makes me forget how blessed I am...how thankful I can be that I belong to God, that He rescued me. For some strange reason He noticed me and wrapped my life in the blanket of His favor. Seems incredible.

The Amplified Bible says that "poor in spirit" means...

the humble, those who rate themselves insignificant

It's a strange thing to think of ourselves as insignificant and yet valuable to God at the same time.

Apart from Christ's work in our life, we are insignificant. No matter how much we strive, our endeavors are like "chasing after the wind." Pointless.

And yet, as a child of God we are infinitely valuable...not because of our own merit, but because of God's grace.

Those are hard thoughts for my brain to wrap around.

While sitting in church this weekend, that first part of Matthew 5 made me think of one of my favorite passages in scripture.

God can be so gross. Really.

He can.

Before really delving into the Bible I thought it was this stiff book written by some far off, stoic author.

No. God is my favorite author because He uses rich images. Things people don't normally talk about in public...He uses those things...those pictures that we're all familiar with and teaches us with intimate, earthy examples.

Ever seen a baby right after it's born? Some people cry. When my kids were born, I loved them...I cried too...but aint gonna lie....I wanted someone to clean them up ASAP. I snuggled them a lot deeper once they smelled like baby shampoo instead of blood...or whatever all that "gag nasty" is all over them. I liked my babies better clean...not slimy.

I love this passage because it reminds me of who I was...where I was when God walked by and picked my dirty, broken life up.

Ezekiel 16:4-6
And as for your birth,on the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things to you out of compassion for you, but you were cast out on the open field, for you were abhorred, on the day that you were born."

And when I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you in your blood, 'Live!' I said to you in your blood, 'Live!' I made you flourish like a plant of the field. And you grew up and became tall and arrived at full adornment.

Blessed are the poor in Spirit.

I was encouraged this weekend to always remember...always remember who I was...where I was before God rescued me.

There was nothing lovely or attractive about the scene on which God arrived.

On the contrary...I was a pitiful sight. Filthy. Sinful. Sick. Weak. Wiping my sin all over anyone who came near. Miserable. Cold. Hurting. Needy. Born into wickedness. Unable. Inept.

He walked past me and said, "Live."

It brings tears to my eyes to think of the intimacy. As a mother...how I remember each of my children on the day they were born...their nakedness...covered in filth...how weak and helpless each of them were. There are times I see them now...older...stronger...and think, "I have known all of your days. I have seen you at your worst. I love you."

The imagery in this passage is powerful. It's real. It's gross. It's just like a real God to use real pictures we can grasp...that we can get.

I'm reminded that God walks past me every day.

There I sit...crippled by my sin...suffocating in my anger. He sees me. My jealousy, my impatience, my selfishness...my idolatry glowing bright as blood.

I'm thankful for His grace today and that He never stops walking past the mess that is me.

I'm thankful that he never stops scrubbing.

I'm thankful that even in the midst of my sin I can feel him lifting my sin soaked body up off the ground, pulling me close, smelling only the fragrance of His righteousness. I can hear Him calling...

Live! Choose life my girl...choose life.

I'm Bringin' it Back Yall

Yesterday we had tea at the Hendrick House.

Not sweet tea.

We cooked up some shortbread cookies and made hot tea...

like we were British.

We've been studying England this week. Super fun.

I took the boys to the store...let them pick out some tea and even bought some sugar cubes just so I could say, in the worst English accent...

"One lump or two?"

It was a festive time.

Yummy

Relaxing

Nice to sit with my boys after a full day of school work...sip hot tea and talk.

It was ultra ghetto. Seriously. Take a look at that picture. I didn't have ANY teacups. None. My coffee cups don't match. I do not have a tea pot. Anson remembered that Lynsey gave us a sugar and creamer set. They are decorations in my kitchen. I forgot you could actually use them. Tea time was hideous. Martha Stewart would have had to "excuse herself" and go vomit somewhere.

Sipping our trashy tea...one of the boys said, "Why don't we do this every day?"

I said, "The British do. Isn't that cool?"

They decided they wanted to be British.

Why are Americans so lame?

We don't have anything cool going on here in the afternoons.

In Mexico...they get siestas. Naps during the day. Can you imagine that?

The British drink tea.

I wish I could be Mexican Englican and drink some tea every day then take a nap.

But alas...

No naps and no tea in this country.

I've read tons and tons of old books filled with stories of people dropping in for tea.

How quaint is that?

What must it have been like to be less busy...to have time to sit every day and talk to friends for a few minutes while offering them a cup of tea and a scone.

I called Aaron after tea yesterday and said...

"We just had tea. I want to have tea time every day. With cookies."

"You want to be British?" Aaron asked.

Sometimes I bet he wishes I would call and say things like..."How's your day?"

"No. I don't want to be British. They don't even "have tea" anymore. I looked it up on the internet."

"That's because everyone is too busy. It's sad," Aaron said.

It is.

Well...the British can quit tea, but it's making a come back over here in our house.

We're going to sit...talk...warm our insides up...chill out and enjoy each other and enjoy life.

I'm going to try it. Afternoon tea. I'm super flaky so this might not stick...but I'm going to give it my best effort.

Garage sales...look out. I'm going British. I need some tea stuff.

Note to self: Add shortbread cookies to baking day on Monday.

Another note to self: Maybe some days you should drink hot tea and eat grapes...just so you stay in your jeans.

Ya-Ya-Supperhood

My friend Brandi invited me to contribute to a new blog called Family Supper Club.

I love Brandi.

She's smart and cool.

She is a real live doctor...an MD...who decided to be a stay-at-home mom after her kids were born.

See.

I told you.

Cool.

This new blog idea is genius.

A great description of the blog...

Come see what real families are eating. Meal plans, recipes, successes and failures, takeout confessions, cookbook and equipment reviews, and whatever else we think of. All from real people cooking for real families, with schedules and budgets and priorities. Some are finicky; some are gourmet. Some are green, some like fast food, some stick with meat and potatoes. Some are Julia Child, and others are Sara Lee. This is what we eat.

Oh how I love real people being real.

These families are so interesting. Some cook primarily vegetarian...some vegan...some from scratch...some not so much. What a great mixture. I'm already learning a lot.

My favorite part....

My sister-in-law is contributing as well. What a sweet thing to do with Lynsey!

Mandi from the herbanhomestead is linked on my blog. You will find her at the Supper Club.

Mandi, Mandi.

I want to be Mandi.

She grinds her own wheat. Talk about the Little Red Hen. I love that girl. I want to go intern in her kitchen.

Head on over to The Family Supper Club and meet some of these women! Mostly introductions are going on now, but I'm looking forward to getting lots of new recipes as well as practical ideas for planning menus, grocery lists and what not. If it has to do with food...I'm sure it's gonna get talked about with all these creative, diverse women in the kitchen.

Film Festival

Rachel H was telling me about this film festival the other day. She sent me the information.

It's in the Woodlands...not far from here.

If we DID NOT have soccer games during this thing and we DID have a nanny, we'd go. Looks super cool.

Does anyone want to go? You can get a group together right here on the blog. Then Aaron and I will know exactly who to be jealous of. I just ended a sentence with "of"...but so what.

For Public School Families

This will be the last installment (for now) about family discipleship. We'll start moving further down the track in this new series. Thanks for joining us as we've camped out here for the last couple weeks. I hope that this topic of family discipleship has encouraged us all in our pursuit of Christ and teaching about the Lord in our homes to our closest disciples...our kids.

Last year, I asked my friend, Shannan Feldman to write some things up about family discipleship. Shannan and her husband, Chris have six kids. SIX! They adopted Isaac (the baby) from the same adoption agency where we adopted Hudson. Then, their family found out that Isaac had two siblings in CPS custody. Long story short (you can check out their blog for more) but Isaac's two biological siblings are now home with the Feldmans awaiting adoption.

I love this family. They are dear friends of ours and attend New Life with us.

Their kids go to public school.

If your kids are in public school, I think her words will encourage you and spur your family on to love and good deeds in your own home!

I know raising "great kids" is not the goal...raising Godly kids is...but wow...these children in this home consistently blow my mind. I love them. They are kids you would want to steal. They are kids you want YOUR kids to be friends with!

I pray you are blessed and encouraged by what Shannan has to say (her words are in maroon)!


For too long my husband and I said with our mouths that we wanted our kids to make an impact in public schools, however we did nothing to prepare them for their day as they went into the schools. Our heart was that they would make Jesus known in front of their friends and teachers, but our actions did not support them in any way. The problem wasn’t with our kids, but was with us.

We weren’t committed and wholehearted to God’s Word.

We didn’t repeat God’s truths again and again to our kids.

We didn’t talk about His truth at home, when we went to bed and when we got up.

We weren’t wholehearted so how could we expect our kids to be?

Deutermony 6:5-7
“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

Every morning we would wake our kids up for school, we would make sure that they brushed their teeth and hair, put clean clothes on, had matching socks on, and at least grabbed something for breakfast depending on how late we were running. We prepared them to look like they were ready to start their day, but what about their spiritual health?

This is an area that the Lord brought great conviction in our home. It is our job as parents to make sure that our kids are prepared to make an impact at their school, with their friends and teachers. Isn’t that why we say they are in public schools? I know that was our heart, but we realized that we were doing nothing to ensure that they were spiritually fed before going out into the world for the day.

As a side note, if your husband leaves before the kids get up, like mine does, night time is an excellent opportunity to institute a family worship time. My husband leads our kids in discussing over again what they read that morning, and how they lived it out during the day.

You might be thinking, “But how do I do this?”

Let me encourage you by first saying that if God can adjust these things in our family, anyone can do this! We were so far from where we needed to be and had to literally start from scratch. God took a family who watched cartoons in the morning, and traditionally ran late out the door, and made us disciplined to spend good time with Him every morning before school.

In short it takes discipline and obedience.

Discipline and obedience to get up early enough to spend time in the Word ourselves before our kids are even awake.

Discipline to have something prepared for them to read and discuss.

Discipline to teach them to start every day with the Lord.

Take it from someone who was once a very undisciplined woman, the Lord will help you in this! Ask the Lord to guide you and help you in this and He will! He is a gracious, amazing and faithful daddy God!

The first step is the hardest…just start. Jump in this thing wholeheartedly and don’t be discouraged if you miss a morning. Repent and ask the Lord to help you tomorrow. Tell your kids of your desires for them to study God’s word every morning. They can be great reminders if we fail to honor our commitment.

If you aren’t already spending time in the Word in the mornings, consider leading your children by example.

Realize that if you are a parent that wakes up just in time to get kids dressed, fed and out the door, then you aren’t preparing your children to face their day in the world. Encourage your kids that God wants to use them in their schools to make an impact for Jesus. That is the whole reason that they are there! Give them perspective of why this is important, give them scripture, not just your opinion (i.e. Psalm 119:11, 1 Peter 2:11, Deut 11:18-19).

There are many different options for morning studies. However, consider what type of habits you want your children to form, especially as they get older. By this I mean that a short devotional may work great for a small child, but my 12 year old needs to learn to read God’s Word and listen for the Holy Spirit to teach her.

Maybe consider writing a Bible study for your kids. They really don’t care if you have type-os, or incorrect grammar. When I started writing studies for my kids they were simple. Basically we would read a passage, observe what was going on, discuss what the person in the story was learning and then talk about a personal application for their age. I also included a word game or puzzle, which they loved.

Not everyone wants to write their own studies, and if that is you then search until you find a study that challenges your kids on their level. This will certainly look different from home to home, but one thing is the same. Our goal is to raise godly children who can go into public schools and shine for Jesus in both their words and actions.

Thanks, Shannan!

I'm about to email Shannan and ask her if she has anything to add. I know every year looks different in our home, so I'm betting it's the same with the Feldmans. If she has anything extra to add, I'll ask her to share it in the comment section.

Public School Families...

Any other great resources you use or ways you've made discipling your kids a priority in your home? Any encouragement for other families? Any topics you seem to need to cover over and over again with your kids?

Need to Join Honeycrisp Anonymous?

They're back!

Did ya hear?

This time of year, my kids and I are absolutely addicted to Honeycrisp apples.

It's such an expensive dependency.

These apples are around $2.99 a pound!

And, I bet they weigh about a pound a piece.

Over the next few months I will spend a ridiculous amount of money on apples. Good thing I've got the couponing thing going on this year.

If my kids were asking me for anything else...any other snack or food item that cost this much money I would say "go sell lemonade"...but these are apples. All logic breaks down inside of me when my kids ask me ALL DAY if I will please go to the store and get them some more apples to eat.

"We love apples mom. These are so good. I could eat these all day. And apples are so healthy mom, aren't they."

Junk!

Who can say no to that?

Not me, obviously.

These apples only come out at certain times of the year. They are available a few weeks and then they are gone, leaving only ugly, mushy, not-as-sweet apples to take their place. Can you imagine how those "other" apples must feel? They don't even come CLOSE to comparing to Honeycrisps. The Honeycrisps get their own display in the front of the store...I'm sure the other apples hate their sweet, juicy, crunchy guts for it. Honeycrisps are the Paris Hiltons of the produce department, and I bet all the other apples know it. When I finally walk past the other apples that get hidden in the back when the Honeycrisps arrive...I push my grocery basket right past them, glance over in their direction, shake my head and think...."sad."

Here are some ways I've managed to deny my addiction and keep from "dealing with" how much money I spend on this seasonal sickness of ours. Hopefully I can help you justify your problem too.

Helpful Hint Number One: Don't Weigh Them

What I normally do is go to the store and get about six of these apples. I don't weigh them. Actually...I try not to lift them. I set the apples in the bag that is sitting in my basket. If I do hold the bag I start to think, "Hmmm...this sort of feels like Hayden felt when he was born..." My mind starts to calculate. I don't want these guilt inducing thoughts in my head...so I try not to lift the bag at all. Actually, I stop calculating because my brain is not a calculating kind of brain. It starts to get smoky. My forehead begins to feel hot.

Helpful Hint Number Two: Read A Magazine or Clean Out Your Purse While Checking Out

When I get to the check out counter, I purposely divert my eyes from the cash register screen when the apples are getting rung up.

My system has worked flawlessly...which is important if these apples are going to continue to find a place in my basket week after week. It's kind of like the old, "If a tree falls in the forest" deal. "If you paid a lot for apples, but you didn't know it, does it really matter?" I think the only thing worse than buying these expensive apples would be buying them and then throwing them up because I felt nauseous about paying so much for them. So...I choose to bag them and then stay thoroughly distracted while I'm checking out.

Now before you judge me...

I have stopped peeling the apples for my kids. They want them peeled, but this is a Honey Crisp we're talking about.

When they ask me to peel their apple I say, "Um...no. I think the peeling alone costs about 75 cents. Sorry. You're eating it."

I've thought about making them eat the core...but I think that's too much.

Good thing these apples are only out for a minuscule window of time every year.

Or we would go broke.

But since an apple a day keeps the doctor away, maybe we could cancel our health insurance to be able to afford to eat these apples year round.

That's what we'd have to do in order to support this habit.

You should try these.

At least once.

I won't tell anyone.

They are so good.

I bet in heaven, there will only be one variety of apples...and of course it will be Honeycrisps. No other fruit will be pure enough and lovely enough to see God.

What produce is allowed to grow on the hill of the Lord?

Only the one that's this yummy.

I know that no one knows what kind of tree the Tree of Life was, but I'm personally convinced it was a Honeycrisp tree.

I can hear Adam and Eve now...banging on the gates of the garden...screaming...."But he said they were HONEYCRISPS....HONEYCRISPS..."

squeaky voice...

honeycrisps

Another What If

If you're just joining us, we're having a discussion this semester about our journey as a family the last couple years in regards to parenting, how to disciple our kids in our home, ministry, community, the church, living simpler, being more sustainable...lots has been going on around here that I've not felt ready to put into words. Here are some previous posts if you need to get caught up.

Introduction

Disclaimer

First Car on the Track

Next Car

Back to the Train


What if my husband isn't a believer? Can I do Bible Study with my kids at home?

I was asked this question by a younger mom. I felt totally ill-equipped to answer it. My husband is saved, so it's tempting to pass this on to someone else entirely. How lame of me. God's Word is good and has answers and wisdom for every situation, even if we haven't found ourselves in the exact same struggle. I don't want to be a punter. This was a real person with a real question. If she was sitting in my living room I'd admit how stupid I am and then vow to work through this with her, going to God's Word for guidance, learning with her what to do. There are answers...we just have to find them. God's Word and wise people are always a great place to start.

Feeling totally useless to answer this question alone I wanted to get Aaron (my husband) and Allen's (our pastor) perspective on this too. I asked them this question last year when I asked them a bunch of other questions related to family discipleship. Their answers were originally in a very long post. I'm breaking it up in these shorter posts.

Here's the gist of what they said...sort of a big soup of all our thoughts:

This is such a hard subject. So many difficult things are usually going on in a marriage where one spouse knows the Lord and the other doesn't. If you have friends in this situation, or you're in this situation...you know...you hurt...or you hurt for your friend. This post is only meant to tackle one area...family discipleship.

So what about discipling kids within a marriage where the dad has no desire to teach his kids the Word of God? How does a wife live out the things in scripture about teaching her kids God's Word?

Every situation will be different, so this post obviously isn't going to do this topic justice. But, I hope that what is written here today helps us to pray for our friends in situations like this and look for every opportunity to love them and serve their families. Hopefully every female, connected to a local church can seek out wise counsel and support from the people and leaders in her church to know exactly how to love her unbelieving spouse and raise kids who know the truth from scripture.

So I asked Aaron and Allen if a woman married to an unbelieving spouse should teach her kids from the Bible at home. If so...how? What does that look like?

They both started their answers similarly mentioning the sovereignty of God.

God is sovereign.

He's in control.

That anthem needs to be playing loudly as we discuss everything in our lives (family discipleship being one of those things.)

I know I have to be careful never to think that because we're discipling our children in our home and are teaching them God's Word, our human endeavors will save them. God may use us as parents to speak the gospel...to share the gospel...to live the gospel out before our kids, but scripture is clear that no one comes to know the Lord apart from God's work in their heart. No one comes to know the Lord unless the Father draws them.

We don't teach our kids the Word of God because it's some formula for salvation. Instead, we teach our kids the Word of God, and remind them of all that He has done in scripture because God tells us to do that. What a blessing and honor to get to tell our children who the Lord is.

Thank goodness our kids coming to know the Lord rests in God's lap...not ours.

I look at it like this...Yes, we're teaching our kids the Word of God in our home. However, Aaron and I fail in so many other ways as parents, it's not even funny. Either our kids are going to come to know the Lord and walk in His Ways because God is good, sovereign over salvation and gracious...or they aren't. We want all of our hope to be in HIM...not in us. Um...we know us...and um...well...yep...it's going to have to be all God.

The Sovereignty of God is always a comfort...to all of us.

God is gracious and good. Many amazing men and women of God have been raised up in homes where neither parent knew the Lord. Surely God can use a mother who loves the Lord to raise up children whose hearts are tender towards the things of God.

I love Paul's words to Timothy, who grew up watching and learning from a godly mom and grandmother...

2 Timothy 3:14-17
But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Practically speaking, here were some suggestions...some things Aaron would share with people in our lives in this situation.

If your husband isn't a believer, then one thing worth mentioning might be doing Bible Study with your kids when your husband isn't home.

In NO WAY was he implying that you hide or try to do this secretly.

We just think that if the goal is teaching our kids truth from scripture, then maybe it's not a great idea to use that time to also make a husband uncomfortable or feel isolated from his family. He's in one room watching TV, and the mom and the kids are in another room being all "holy and junk."

So...maybe going over a verse on the way to school in the morning, or right when the kids get home every day from school would be best.Yes, formal teaching is good. But, I believe the heart of Deut 6 is this picture of us teaching our kids every chance we get...in the little things...in every day moments. As mothers, we can all ask the Lord to make us sensitive to when those moments arise...and to make the most of them by pointing our kids toward the Lord.

One of the things that the Lord has laid upon my heart so heavily is to make sure to pray daily for our friends in this situation. It's hard! It hurts! One of the best things we can do to love our friend who is married to an unbeliever is to pray for their spouse's salvation. If you have a girlfriend whose husband is lost...the most loving thing you can do for her is to pray for her spouse and remind her every chance you get that you ARE praying.

I pray that the church loves these women well, making sure to include them and minister to them. I think one of the hardest people to be in the church is a wife without her husband (either because he is lost, or because of divorce.) Let's love these ladies and care for them! Let's encourage them and be faithful to remind them of God's love...that He is in control...that He loves her children. He is mighty to save. He is more powerful than any of the situations we find ourselves in. He can be trusted.

I pray I've handled this topic well today. We would never claim to be the experts on any of this...but if friends of ours were asking this specific question, these are the things we'd say based on what we know from scripture thus far, and how we've seen these things work (or not work) in the lives of real people we know and love. As a couple, Aaron and I don't have all the answers (we don't have hardly any of them, actually) but we're thankful to be connected to a church that is willing to work through hard things together. If you're in this situation, we pray you too are in a church that loves you like that and you're connected to a body that is willing to walk with you through something like this.

This is a weighty topic, so I'm not expecting a lot of comments. We were only addressing this one issue...discipleship in the home and what that can look like for a spouse doing it on their own...specifically a mother.

If you know of other great resources for women in this situation, please share those. If you're in this situation and have encouraging things to share with women who are hurting too...please do.

Exciting News

I'm pretty thrilled to announce that I get the wonderful privilege of reviewing children's products for a group called Mama Buzz.

From their website...

So, what Exactly, is Mama Buzz?

Mama Buzz is a team of blogging moms who test out anything that's kid related - - books, puzzles, green toys, DVD's, even shoes and clothes. You name it, if it's kid related, we test it out and then buzz about it in the blogosphere.

Fun!

Not long ago, Aaron told me about a story he heard on NPR.

Apparently, there is this big stink in the blogging world about all these mom bloggers who get asked to review products. Since companies give these moms lots of freebies, the reviews for these products seem a little ridiculous. The moms seem to "rave" and "love" every item that a company sends them for "free" to review.

I never want this blog to fall into that category.

I know I share with you products, books, games and toys that our family enjoys.

I want to always be able to do that, and for others to share those things here as well.

We're always on the look out for toys that inspire creativity, and non TV or video game related activities. And who doesn't love a great book to read to their kids?

However...

I do not and will not promote anything and everything sent our way.

There are PLENTY of events...plenty of books...plenty of products I think are crappy...or a waste of time and money. Instead of talking about them, I try instead to keep from mentioning them here at all.

Thankfully Mama Buzz has specifically asked their reviewers to be truthful about the products we are sent.

Do our kids actually like them? Are they worth the money?

We get to tell the truth (graciously and respectfully of course)...but the truth gets to be told.

That was important to me.

I'm excited to be a part of this team of blogging mommies.

Hopefully I can share great books to read to our kids...wonderful, fun, creative games to play and lots of worthwhile products for families.

And...

I will be giving away these products as well.

Gotta love a drawing!

So...look for reviews to come in the near future!

And hop on over to Mama Buzz and check them out. There are already reviews under each age group for toys, books and games.

With Christmas coming up, I think this is going to be a great way to spend less, but buy toys and games that are meaningful and creative.

During one of our What Do You Do Wednesday posts, we already mentioned some of our favorite, creative toys and books.

To read about our journey through the idea of television and how much our kids watch it you can read here.

To read a bunch of fantastic games and activities to inspire creative thinking and play with your kids you can go here to read what so many other families contributed.

I learned a lot during those posts and also enjoyed making a list of great books, games and other products to buy for Christmas and birthday presents for all the children in our lives.

Family Driven Faith Winner

Again...no video...see below.

Anson drew:

Jana's name as the winner of Family Driven Faith!

Hooray!

Email me your address, Jana and I'll ask Amazon to send it your way!

*Prizes must be claimed by Monday, September 14.

$20 Target e-gift card

Sorry...no videos of the drawings this week. That's just too much to do with school going on today.

No time for making videos when you're busy learning The Mexican Hat Dance and studying Diego Rivera.

Promise these drawings are being done on the up and up. I am putting the names in a sack and the boys are drawing the winners today.

Hayden's hand decided the winner of the $20 e-gift card is...

jrandchels

If that's you...please email me:

hendrickcrew@gmail.com

I'll send you your gift card.

Happy Shopping!!

Drawing for Family Driven Faith is next!

* Prizes must be claimed by Monday, September 14.

Last Call

The promo code (that lands you 5 swagbucks for signing up through Sit a Spell) ends tonight, and so does your chance to enter the drawing for a $20 e-Target gift card.

Details here.

By downloading the toolbar, I've made one swagbuck every day (plus the ones I make searching).

Anyone have questions about how swagbucks works? I'll gladly answer them.

One of my favorite things is getting free stuff with my swagbucks. I just ordered the kid's version of the Farmer's Almanac for the boys and the Whole Foods Market Cookbook for our family's personal chef (me).

I want you to get free stuff too! How can I help? Questions? I'll answer them...or try my best.

While Writing Ws

Pencil in his fleshy hand

Concentrating very hard

Little huffs....little puffs

As if writing W's is as difficult as running a mile


Ashton pauses

stops

chin on table

pencil in hand

eyes on paper

"What's wrong, Ashton?"

silence

"Ashton...what's the matter....can you finish your row of W's?"

And then he invited me inside his head

what a sweet honor

calmly

matter-of-factly

"Mom. I just drew Patrick's legs."

What? Patrick? Who is Patrick?

And then I saw it too...

Patrick's legs...hiding in my baby's row of Ws.


Aren't kids fantastic?

Isn't Kindergarten fun?

Is she really going to do this?

Yep...yep I am.

Another Obama post.

But I learned something...and I love it when I do.

Have I mentioned it is never easy putting stuff "out there" for others to read?

It isn't.

Sometimes it gives me diarrhea.

But, I always learn. Sometimes my convictions grow stronger. Sometimes I realize I'm totally wrong. Being wrong is a hobby for me. I'm wicked good at it.

One of my favorite things in life is hearing God's people work through every day details and decisions using God's Word and Christ's example as our guide.

Many great conversations have erupted in the comment section of the Obama post, through emails, and through phone calls.

Lots of..."Oh...I have never thought about it that ways" have been spoken...mainly by me.

Good, productive, edifying conversations.

Remember...I often admit that I am the most behind person when it comes to politics and government stuff. I am doing better than I used to, but it's rough for me staying informed.

I'm tempted to never talk about this sort of stuff because I feel too stupid to discuss it.

How prideful of me.

I want to learn.

And...I'm just dumb enough to believe that some of you are as silly as I am and need to be stretched to be informed as well.

Here are some of the "ah-ha" moments for me during all this Obama hoopla...

1. Prior to the speech there were "leaks" and "speculations" about what the speech was going to be about. Lots of parents were concerned that Obama's address to the kids was going to be littered with ideas rooted in socialism.

To this I said...

"Why is everyone so leery of the President? I know we personally don't agree with a whole lot of what he says or the way he governs but I don't think I'd naturally believe Obama would say something crazy insane in front of a bunch of students and their parents (hopefully the parents watched the speech.)

"Surely a public school would not go all political in the classroom."

Then someone told me about this video...

I Pledge




It was played for elementary students in Utah and there was some talk that the video was going to be played in conjunction with Obama's speech in schools yesterday.

So I guess parents DO have reason to be a little suspicious (or a lot suspicious) of the Obama campaign and their definition of "appropriate" when it comes to what is taught to children in public schools.

Can we all be clear here that I'm not saying all the stuff in the video is wrong...I am saying I'm not sure if it is appropriate to be teaching that stuff at a public school and especially to elementary students.

2. I learned that you could read the transcript the day before the speech. Parents could make an educated decision about whether or not to allow their students to listen to Obama.

3. Parents could read the assignments that may be assigned to their students based on the President's speech. The questions and assignment prompts were written by the Obama Administration.

My favorite article that says some really great things...

The Obama School Speech Controversy - What to Think?

Bill mentioned this in the comment section and Aaron emailed it to me. Great stuff.

Just wanted to add some more information to the pile.

We don't have kids in public school, so we still would have watched the speech with our kids. One day I'd love to use the "I Pledge" video as a way to teach my kids to think critically about everything they hear...(probably not in elementary school...more like junior high or high school.)

We're still not big on "ignore everything in our culture that we disagree with." We want to teach our kids to engage our culture...to learn how to redeem every area of life with the gospel of Christ.

I felt comfortable sitting with my kids yesterday...on the couch...ready to respectfully hear what our President was saying and just as ready to address anything I felt was a little "off."

I am still passionate that there must be a way to teach our kids to respect the president without that meaning "agree with everything they say". We want to teach our kids to talk about the president like he's a real person...and to talk about differences with humility and gentleness.

We don't want them to run from people they disagree with or ignore them. We want our kids taking the truth from scripture into every conversation they have about our culture and our world.

I can't say what we would have done yesterday, with all this new information if our kids were in public school because that thought process is so hard for us.

We don't have kids in public school, never have...and may never...so that would be a fruitless conversation.

But for those of you with kids in public school, I thought this information was helpful.

It was helpful to me. And it helped me to see why so many people felt so strongly on both sides of this issue.

No matter who you voted for, I think it's good to listen and hear both sides.

After reading the article and watching the video...any new thoughts about the reactions to the speech?

The What If's About Family Discipleship

If you're just joining us, we're having a discussion this semester about our journey as a family the last couple years in regards to parenting, how to disciple our kids in our home, ministry, community, the church, living simpler, being more sustainable...lots has been going on around here that I've not felt ready to put into words. Here are some previous posts if you need to get caught up.

Introduction

Disclaimer

First Car on the Track

Next Car

Back to the Train




What if my husband is a believer, but no spiritual training is happening in our home?

I asked Aaron (my husband) and Allen (pastor of the church where we attend) that question last year. You can check out Allen's family's blog here. You'll get to meet his wife, Kendra. She's pretty spectacular.

Although fallen and imperfect, these two men are striving to lead their families spiritually, but were very quick to admit that this hasn't always been true, and they don't always do it right.

For those of you who read a post like the one yesterday and think, "My husband is nothing like the men who desire to lead their families like this" I want to encourage you.

Aaron wasn't this man only a few short years ago and neither were most of our friends who are discipling their children right now in their homes.

God does huge things.

God's desire has always been to turn the hearts of fathers towards their children (Malachi 4:6)

Your husband isn't a lost cause.

I think God is doing a new thing (actually it's an old thing...at one point, men were expected to disciple their families, and something happened where that stopped being an expectation in the church). We don't think most men are necessarily in "rebellion" to God in this area. Most have no idea how valuable they are in their family, and how much God wants to use them to impact their children and generations to come. Man is this ever counter-cultural. Unless the church is purposefully teaching and encouraging men to do these things, they will probably never stumble upon anything in our world that inspires them to teach their children consistently the truths from scripture.

So let's pray for the men in our lives. As a helper, we can ask God how we can lovingly help our husbands in this area.

I've been reading really old books lately. Most of them are puritan books. (People used to be really smart by the way...now we're all dumb...what happened to us?) It's interesting that almost everything I've read mentions, and always assumes that fathers are teaching their kids to love the Lord and know God's Word.

I'm too weak in history to know "what went wrong," but something obviously has.

Aaron and Allen both extend so much grace in this area towards other men. They both admit that early on in their marriages, they simply did not know what it actually looked like or meant to lead their wives and their children spiritually.

They had no idea that it was their job and their responsibility to teach their kids about the character of God, and truths from scripture.

So maybe your husband doesn't even know this is his job.

And if he does know, maybe he's still kind of unsure about what this actually looks like (as if anyone knows for sure!)

I love how one of the definitions of love is "extending the benefit of the doubt."

Aaron and Allen would both suggest going into a conversation with our husbands giving them the benefit of the doubt.

These men suggested approaching a husband and gently saying something like...

"I've been really convicted lately after reading some scripture about how parents are supposed to be diligently teaching their kids about the Lord. Would you mind if I sent you some of the stuff I've been reading so you can read it and think through it?"

For some husbands, that's all it's going to take.

The Holy Spirit will do the rest.

You may even ask, "Would you be willing to do something like this...some sort of Bible Study with our family?"

You could even mention that it does not have to be every night...maybe just once a week if your husband seems willing, but unsure of himself.

A couple weeks later, you might ask him what he thought about those verses you sent him, and how your family is going to be obedient to what God is asking parents to do in the Bible.

If your husband shows interest in starting something in your home, you may ask him, "How can I help you? How can I make this easier on you? Do you want me to try and find some resources to use?"

The thing that both Allen and Aaron mentioned was that men need time to process things.

I've learned this the hard, ugly way as a wife.

I get excited about something, push it on Aaron, add a little nagging, and want an immediate response.

I'm learning SLOWLY...to go into conversations, with a little more grace, giving Aaron the benefit of the doubt, gently mentioning something...and then letting Aaron have some time to THINK about what I've said before demanding a response, or a change.

Later, if you've mentioned these things to your husband, and still...nothing, then Allen suggested that you gently bring it up again, but this time ask your husband if it would be okay for you to do Bible Study with the kids.

I think this is a great idea...but a word of warning from one wife to another....

Right here is where I would turn into a she-devil. Oh...I would SAY, "Can I do Bible Study with the kids," but make sure Aaron knew what I really meant was, "You sorry loser...since YOU won't do your job and do Bible Study with our kids, can I do it?"

Yes...I'm that evil.

Maybe you aren't...but I would have to really ask the Lord to make my heart right first before saying something like that to Aaron.

The goal...

To teach our kids God's Word.

God's idea is for the husband to lead out in this...but the goal is the same...and SO I think I would have to make sure that my number one priority would be getting permission to teach my kids the beauty of God's Word myself...not to punish Aaron, but because my kids need to know these life-giving truths from scripture! They need to know the Lord! They need to grow in understanding of spiritual things! That's the goal!!

And then either way....whether a husband immediately responds and starts training your kids with scripture, or eventually responds...or never responds and you end up doing it, we can always PRAY for our husbands.

Most men have never seen these things modeled for them. Most men did not grow up in homes with fathers who taught them about the Lord.

Most men are scared to death to take on this responsibility.

Most men feel totally inept to lead their family spiritually.

So we need to pray for them.

Prayer is powerful and effective...God says so. I'm thankful we have this tool as wives, because man...there are not many things I can think of, more hurtful than when a husband, who claims to love the Lord, refuses to lead his family. I don't know if there is anything that hurts a wife's heart more.

Maybe you're asking, "What if my husband isn't a believer? What about my kids?"

I was wondering the same things...so I asked Aaron and Allen that question as well.

More tomorrow.

Obama

Hendrick Academy is about to watch our president address us on the television.

Why?

Because he is the President of the United States.

He's asked to speak to us.

He's asked to speak to our children.

How rude and disrespectful would we be to say, "no."

Titus 3:1-2
Remind the believers to submit to the government and its officers. They should be obedient, always ready to do what is good. They must not slander anyone and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone.

Oh how I pray that Christian kids in public school are demonstrating what it looks like to submit, to obey...to be gentle...to live out the humility that Christ lived out on earth.

I pray we're honoring God in that clear way today by honoring the man God allowed to take office in our land.

What a great opportunity to teach our kids to obey God by honoring our leaders while still thinking critically about what we hear. What a great opportunity to model before our kids submission to someone in authority over us even if we don't agree with everything they believe.

Anyone else watching?

I'd love your thoughts when it is over.

Back to the Train

If you're just joining us, we're having a discussion this semester about our journey as a family the last couple years in regards to parenting, how to disciple our kids in our home, ministry, community, the church, living simpler, being more sustainable...lots has been going on around here that I've not felt ready to put into words. Here are some previous posts if you need to get caught up.

Introduction

Disclaimer

First Car on the Track

Next Car



Parts of this post are cut and pasted from something I wrote last year.

Like I mentioned in the previous post, God had begun to stir our hearts...to convict us about our lack of obedience in regards to purposefully discipling our sons in our home.

Aaron and I were talking about this the other day and think it's important to kind of stop right here for a little while...probably the rest of the week and really flesh out this topic.

Maybe this won't be true for everyone, but here's the deal for us...

We can both look back and admit that before learning to disciple our kids in our home we may have had too many wrong expectations of the church and flawed ideas about its purpose.

We were tempted to hypocritically ask, "What is this church doing for our kids?" and "What fun and exciting ways are these people teaching our children God's Word?" and then we'd go home and do nothing fun or exciting with our kids ourselves to teach them about who God is and what His Word says.

How awesome of us, right?

The very slow process of learning to take discipleship seriously in our home caused many great things to happen and one of them was that our questions of the church changed.

All that to say....we're going to sit in this same car this week and we hope you'll join us here. We're not claiming in any way to have this all figured out...that makes me smile as I type this. Again...we're just two people on a journey asking questions and trying to be honest about our struggles to take God's Word seriously and trust Him.

Our story...

For a long time we did nothing (even as leaders in the church) to make sure we were training our own children to love the Lord. Bible Study as a family never happened in our home. We can honestly say, the thought never really crossed our minds. Yes, we may have read Anson a Bible Story every once in awhile, but the thought of teaching him about God, about the Bible...we never really thought about it.

As people on staff at a church we would have sat for hours and talked about how important it is for the church to teach our kids while never considering our own roll as parents. That's sort of silly since it's less clear from scripture what the church's job is in regards to discipling our kids but extremely clear from scripture what our job is as parents.

I'm not sure what happened next. We went from nothing to some sort of Bible Study, maybe just because we were doing school every day, so why not do some sort of Bible Study? That sounds nice. Not exactly the right motives, but still...Bible Study was happening in the hiz-ouse.

We read Shepherding a Child's Heart. Amazing book. We believe every parent should read it.

We wanted to learn how to apply scripture to parenting, using God's Word as the standard for pointing our kids away from foolish, sinful behavior that dishonored God and instead turn them towards "life" and God honoring thoughts and behaviors as they learned to obey His Word.

But, I (the mother) was in charge of Bible Study. Yes, Aaron helped me. When we were finished with one study, he'd give me ideas for others. He'd look up scriptures for me. He was always helpful.

Then our friend (who is now our pastor) Allen Duty began sharing with us how God was challenging him to learn to lead his family spiritually...not just his children...his wife as well. He was so gracious to tell us all about the things God was teaching him about bearing the weight of spiritual discipleship in his home.

Aaron was challenged. I think for the first time, we felt the weight of what God was wanting us to do as parents (even though...sheesh...it's clear in scripture, we found ways I guess to ignore it). It was clear God asks the male to lead out in this area, to teach his children about the Lord, and play a roll in his wife's spiritual growth. I could help teach the kids of course, but Aaron told me that he knew this needed to be his thing...his responsibility.

Honestly...even after that realization, it still took us some time to actually start.

Aaron admits he was worried about starting something and then not sticking with it. He admits that he was nervous about sitting down with us every night and teaching us. Our schedules were a mess. We had lots of "good" things going on, but were doing those "good" things instead of doing one of the things God was clearly asking us to do. We couldn't seem to figure out when to teach the boys consistently. We didn't have any resources to use. This was something totally new and foreign to us, so we felt like we didn't know what we were doing.

To top it off, since it was new...we were completely undisciplined ourselves. Lots of excuses...some real...some just stupid. Even after understanding what we felt like God was clearly wanting to happen in our home, we still stunk at getting the ball rolling. We needed to figure out how to rearrange our lives, our priorities and our schedule to make this important thing begin to come to life in our home.

Over the last year and a half discipling our kids has taken many forms. There was a time when we sat down in the evenings...Aaron taught us something...we sang a song...we prayed. We were not very consistent with this. We could offer up another ton load of excuses...but bottom line...we weren't consistent.

Right now Aaron teaches us from the Bible every morning before school while we're eating breakfast.

It's relaxed. We listen. We talk to each other. We discuss whatever passage Aaron reads to us. We pray. It's a sweet time. We have found that our mornings are predictable...our evenings are not...so teaching the boys in the morning has been really great. So far we have been able to be more consistent...praise God.

Sometimes I leave our time together in God's Word refreshed...touched by our children's prayers and their questions. But please...we have four boys...so just as often I leave this time wondering if we're raising lunatics.

Our goal...

To keep it simple. We want our sons to see prayer and Bible Study as important parts of a believer's life. We want them to know that one day, if God blesses them with a family, they will need to lead them spiritually. We want worship to happen in our home.

As far as resources...

When we first started our journey to figure out what to do with our kids in regards to discipleship, some times people were helpful to us and gave us ideas.

Sometimes they weren't and said things like..."Just teach through the Bible."

At first...I think we were so nervous about taking on this new roll, it was comforting to us to have something we were using to help us...some sort of guide or resource. Aaron can teach adults all day long but he'll admit...teaching kids is different for him and harder.

When we first started teaching our kids, I think the most overwhelming part was deciding what to use.

Most people say they need something...a book...a great children's Bible...something when they first start trying to be obedient to God's call to teach their kids. Not everyone is ready to jump in and teach the Bible expositionally to their wife and kids. That might feel a little overwhelming to most men who have never taught before or are new believers...or just new to this "teach your family" stuff.

We understand!

We'll tell you what has worked in our home in the comment section. Hopefully you can share what has worked in yours.

What we've learned so far...

A lot of stuff written for kids is too weak. It shies away from deep hard truths of scripture, and we've found our kids can handle way more than we thought at first.

A lot of kid's Bibles are ridiculous. Some take too many liberties with God's Word and change up important parts.

When looking for resources to use with our kids some of the things that were important to us and still are...

Does the resource show the entire Bible is one huge story...not a bunch of broken up, unrelated stories?

Does this resource help us teach our kids about the nature and character of God?

Does the resource help us teach our sons about God's grace and keep the message of the gospel ever before them?

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Later this week....

Last year I asked Aaron (my husband) and Allen (our pastor) what they would say to a woman asking this question:

"My husband has no desire to lead us in any type of Bible Study in our home. What do I do as a wife?"

Their answers were honest and gracious. I think they will be helpful for everyone to hear.

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I also want to tackle this issue...

I've had people say that this "discipleship stuff" is easier for us because our kids are home schooled. Maybe it is. I have no idea. We've never had our kids in public school, so I have no way of knowing if that statement is true. But we have great friends whose kids are in public school. They desire to consistently teach their kids God's Word. I'll share some stuff from them.

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I know I'm not talking about the church much in these posts...but I think a fun thing to do, to get us ready to move on down the track later on is to start thinking about how the church can help families do the things God has commanded them to do in scripture.

And

We can begin thinking of what this looks like for families with believing parents...and for kids whose parents aren't saved.

Hopefully churches are made up of both saved people and lost people. Most churches will admit that it's easy to minister to one of those groups at the expense of not ministering to the other group. I believe we can find a lot of evidence in scripture that preaching the gospel to the lost in hopes they will come to know the Lord AND discipling the saved are two key things the church needs to be about. That can be easier said than done, right?

Sock Hop...Anyone?

Remember how I said I wanted to have a sock hop?

I wasn't kidding.

I do and so therefore...

I am.

Visions of this thing are in my brain and won't let me sleep.

It's time to take everything in my imagination and bring to life.

I hope the results will be a night we'll never forget.

Here's how my dream goes...

Young kids, parents, grandparents, college students all dress up in 50's clothes and walk into a beautifully decorated, catered sock hop. Aaron and other talented musicians are on the stage. They've learned all our favorite 50's songs and play the fool out of them all evening while poodle skirts and leather jackets dance around the dance floor. We party like it's 1955.

Is anyone else getting excited about this or is it just us?

I want this thing to be fantastic...a night that never leaves our memories. A night that causes our kids to say, "Remember when we..." A night filled with some of your favorite pictures.

As a part of this whole shu-bang I'm going to try and find people who will give everyone lessons...teach us how to do the jitterbug, the Bop and the Stroll or other 50's dances we can all do at the sock hop. Anyone want to do that?

I also want to have a lip sync contest for kids weeks before the sock hop. We'll get college students to judge and the winner of the lip sync contest will perform the night of the sock hop.

We'll encourage kids and adults to get creative...learn about the 50's and let that decade inspire you. We'll really push people to paint...to draw...to write...to take pictures and then we'll display them the evening of the sock hop.

My heart is pumping I'm so excited about this!

What fun it will be to do this as families...to invite our friends and neighbors...the cute older couple a few doors down...I think this will be great!

College students...we'd want you there. You're up for anything insane right?

Imagine all the fun we'll have between now and the sock hop filling our homes up with 50's music, listening to our kids singing Tutti Fruity as they work on puzzles...and what a blast it will be shopping for the perfect 50's outfit for the whole family.

I want to shoot for having the event in the early Spring.

Everyone is invited.

This is not a New Life thing or a homeschool thing.

This is an everybody thing.

A bunch of crazy people coming together to make a night of magic happen.

Good old fashioned, creative fun.

Good ways to build relationships and get to know others better.

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If you'd be interested in attending this event...let us know.

And most importantly....

I need to put together a group of people...(we'll all get pink jackets and put our names on the back) to help me organize this thing. If you're a guy you don't have to wear the pink jacket...but dang it, I'm getting one.

We'll work on finding the perfect location, decorations, food, ideas for inspiring creativity...set ticket prices...and decide what we'll do with any extra money we have after paying for the expenses of the party. We want to give any profit made from the sock hop away to a worthy cause.

If you want to help with planning...here's something that might ease your mind...I've planned gigantic events and did most of the planning with others through email. We won't physically meet much between now and the event. You can do a lot through email. I want this thing to be organized, awesome and have I mentioned...magical?

Who's in?

Who wants to come?

Who wants to help?

A Garden Kind of Morning

Loaded up the whole family this morning and headed to Producer's Coop. Aaron, Hudson and I took a class on fall gardening. Anson, Hayden and Ashton went to a kid-friendly class to learn some gardening skills as well.

Hayden took his spiral and drew everything in sight.






While we were in the grown up class, the speaker said something like..."If you're new at gardening, grow cherry tomatoes. If you can't grow cherry tomatoes...we can't help you."

Oh crap.

I leaned over to Aaron and said, "Well...might as well load up the kids, honey."

We planted multiple packs of cherry tomatoes this summer and got like...six tomatoes?

We came home and finished planting our rows of fall garden plants into our newly tilled garden spot.




Try, try again...we have about worn out that motto.

But I don't care.

We're going to keep at it.

In the class today the speaker mentioned how good gardening is for kids. How rewarding.

I love that they are learning about hard work. Delayed gratification. The joy of feeling like you took care of something and were rewarded by the fruit of your labor.

I know we can put our kids in things like athletic activities. Those are fun. Our boys play soccer and Hayden will be hip hop dancing this semester. We can all learn so many great biblical truths from playing sports...things like perseverance, endurance, diligence, passion, and training.

But, Aaron and I were talking this morning about how we really want our boys to also learn things they will always be able to do...skills they will use for a lifetime. Things like musical instruments, art, the love of reading, gardening...things they can start now and continue to do no matter their age.

And more importantly, we hope this fall as a family to focus on some areas of scripture related to crops, farming and agriculture. There are many of those sorts of images in scripture. We want the boys to truly understand the pictures God's Word paints for us by using plants, seeds, trees...earthy things...things we seem to be moving further and further away from as Americans. We've talked a lot lately as a couple about wanting to reclaim some of those images in scripture...to learn to do them, to appreciate them so we can enjoy the richness of God's Word better. Some of those images we're trying to recapture are the farming related ones in the Bible. It might be hard, living in a neighborhood...but we're giving it a stab!

I was really impressed with all the free classes you can take at Producers. This was so nice this morning. I can't wait to go to another one. Check out the list of free classes!

Here we go again...on yet another garden adventure.

Speaking of gardening...we're learning to compost on September 19. Thomas Supercinski is offering a free class. Our family and several others are joining together to learn how to turn garbage into soil!

If you want to come, let Thomas know. We'd love to learn with you!

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Anyone else growing a fall garden? If so...what cha plantin'?