Better Day

This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." --Jeremiah 17:5-8

Yesterday was a rough day for me.

Talking before bed with Aaron, he spoke a lot of truth over my soul.

Like I mentioned yesterday...I was hurt...battling anger, not at the people who can't host one of these children. No way. I respect their decision, and know how hard it has been to make it. I'm honestly grieving with so many who have had to say no, for various reasons. I'm hurting and praying with several families who are still fervently seeking the Lord, asking for an answer...asking for peace. This is such a difficult issue.

I was hurt by how many people didn't even ask for specifics...more information...

I don't want to be that arrogant person who thinks everyone should care about the things I care about or do the things I'm doing. That grosses me out. I love the freedom Christ brings in our lives in regards to our convictions. I love living in that freedom.

I went to bed asking God to help my focus to be on Him...on what He's obviously doing. He is at work. There's no doubting how He's moving.

I was ready to shake off my sinful yuck from yesterday.

I needed a huge change in perspective. I needed my husband to gently and firmly remind me of what is true...and noble...and right...pure...admirable...and lovely. Then I sat and thought about those things. Healing. Looking at Jesus always brings healing.

My head needed to turn away from man and towards the Lord. My confidence was in the wrong place.

Instead of being irritated or hurt, I want to be found faithfully praying that God finishes His work in this situation, bringing more families along. I fully believe God can do that.
He alone can change us...all of us. What a gentle shepherd He is.

Please pray with me today...pray for families considering this scary task. Pray for peace...for clarity.

I believe that God has used this opportunity to sift out a lot of "issues" that may have been hidden in all of us.

Is anyone else feeling that?

I had no idea I had such an aversion to caring for a child with special needs.

Many of us have had to admit a lot of hypocrisy and lack of faith.

Saying we want to adopt and that we would...but not being ready to do so when God gives us the opportunity.

We've all admitted to talking a big talk...but when it comes down to it, this situation has shown all of us where there's a lot of "I don't really mean what I say" in our lives.

We want to help, but not if that means being horribly inconvenienced.

We want to adopt, but not if that means sitting in long trainings, saving money and letting some adoption agency get all in our business.

I've always said that if we want to adopt, we need to get ready. Babies don't just fall out of the sky. There are rules. There are laws. There's a process. And then kids sort of fell out of the sky with this Haiti situation...giving people the chance to love and care for the orphan with little to no financial cost. That's crazy. But...were people ready?

We were ready...but not because we're awesome...just because that's how it worked out from adopting Hudson recently. By ready I mean we had most of our paperwork done...the homestudy...those things. We weren't ready emotionally or spiritually. We still aren't. We'll be the first to admit...if it wasn't for adopting Hudson recently, we would not have been ready to say yes to this new need. Promise.

This opportunity has brought so many other areas of my life into the light...areas where I say one thing, but am not ready if God did something crazy and gave us the opportunity to follow Him.

I heard someone say once that if you say you love missions...that you'd go serve in another country at the drop of a hat...but you don't have a passport...then you don't mean what you've said.

Passports take time to get. They cost money. You can't talk a passport into your hands. You have to exert some energy to get one.

We heard a story of a man who organized a mission trip overseas. Several people dropped out, for various reasons. So he began calling people who he knew loved mission work, offering them a FREE trip to another country to serve the Lord for a week. They didn't need any money. The trip would be free. He couldn't find anyone who had a passport.

Many people who loved mission work had to pass on a FREE trip to another country because they were not ready.

If we say we want to adopt, and would help the orphan in distress are we ready to do that? Do we have a home study? Are we saving money? Is our life set up to live out that conviction?

I'm asking God to show me the areas in my life where I'm talking a big talk, but I'm not ready to follow Jesus. Makes me think of the disciples...how they didn't have much time to think. Jesus said, "Come. Follow me." Then they cast down their nets and followed. I wonder what their lives looked like. How were they ready to drop those nets and go?

faith

This is growing mine.

Not just faith in the moment...when God asks us to do something incredible for His glory...but faith today when God isn't asking me to do anything right now besides set my life up in a way that makes me ready. Faith to live our lives in a way where we are ready for him to walk past our boat and say, "Come. Follow me."

Getting ready for something you can't see can only be called faith.