Little Pieces of a Broken Soul

photo credit: Trade as One Blog

"I would never gorge myself on food and let a child starve to death in my neighborhood. I'd share."

"I think slavery is disgusting. I would never own a slave."

Proverbs 14:31
Those who oppress the poor insult their maker.

Proverbs 21:13
If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.

Proverbs 28:27
He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses.

The Lord has been graciously and painfully teaching me how much I neglect the poor. For a while, I thought that was all I did...neglect them. With a little bit of research, I've found that "neglect" is hardly my sin. I not only neglect the poor by ignoring them, I...me...Heather Hendrick...give money to people who exploit the poor.

I feel I have the right to a nice, beautiful big house with four bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms while women deliver their babies in make-shift tents in Haiti during the rainy season.

I overeat while people a few hours away fill their bellies with "cookies" made out of dirt and oil to reduce starvation pains.

For the sake of comfort and ease and just for the heck of it, I buy more and more and more cheap stuff imported from countries where women and children are sold into slavery so that I can have new things at rollback prices any moment of any given day.

30,000 children will die today of preventable diseases while I let my kids convince me that they need one more stupid toy from the store.

Not only do I not give generously, and hoard possessions and wealth, I also use my money to support things such as slavery, sex trafficking, and child labor.

I'm not making this stuff up...not the facts about how people are treated around the world so that my pantry and closet can be full, and I'm not making up the strong words that God has to say about people (like me) who turn a blind eye to the poor and their cause.

I'm writing this to you as a sinner...someone broken over the way I live. Please don't feel judged by me. I can't judge you. I'm still in the stage where God is opening up my eyes. I'm begging Him to show me a new way...a better way.

I want to take you on this journey with me. I believe our deception as American Christians is thick and it is real. I don't believe we want to be people who harm the poor. I think we're simply kept in the dark about where our money is going.

I believe as women we want to care about the poor and the orphan. But I believe we're being duped into thinking that taking a mission trip and caring for them for one week, or "supporting a child" makes up for the fact that it is our money, our grocery list, our shopping carts that are supporting the very things we claim to hate and know God despises. I'm not saying a mission trip is bad or supporting a child is wrong. Those things are great. We need to do more of that. I'm just asking if we come home from a mission trip and spend the other 300 days of the year exploiting the poor, neglecting them and taking advantage of them by our greed or with our shopping lists are we fooling ourselves?

God is slowly opening my eyes to the harm my money is causing. I want to do good with our money and see the way we spend it as worship of the God who gave it to us.

Yes the gospel is the ultimate need for this world. I hope no one who reads this blog faithfully would doubt that's what we believe. But Jesus said feed the poor...feed them food...take care of them, clothe them...we can't ignore that either.

Things get super scary when we ask simple questions, like "Where does the chocolate I eat come from?"

From the Trade as One Blog...

"Child slavery, unfair working conditions, and unsustainable farming practices all factor into one of our most beloved treats [chocolate].

The British Broadcasting Company (BBC) conducted an investigative report finding that hundreds of thousands of children were being purchased from their parents for very small amounts of money or even stolen and then shipped to the Ivory Coast where they are sold as slaves. The children work 80-100 hours per week without pay, are fed little and beaten. The work itself involves dangerous tasks like working with machetes and applying toxic chemicals and pesticides without appropriate protective gear. It may be hard for an American child to fathom that a child their age has never tasted chocolate much less the fact that the same child is a slave. To learn more, watch the documentary, Slavery: A Global Investigation."

You can read the rest of the post here if you like.
I'm not sure there's anything more humbling for me than acknowledging that because of my need for more, my need for cheap, and my need for easy, I have used the money God has given us to exploit the poor, to support slavery and other things despicable to the God I claim to worship.
Once I began to research where my products I buy come from, I was astounded at the corruption and the terror I am supporting with our money.
My first reaction was to become overwhelmed...How do I buy anything, Lord?
My second reaction was to get angry. I'm still angry. I feel so stupid and deceived...so gluttonous at the expense of others suffering.
My third reaction was to sort of go numb. How can I fight this injustice? It seems too big of a task. Do I really have to quit buying chocolate and new clothes?
Now I'm at the point where I've quit the self-loathing. That's not what God wants for me. He wants me to obey Him and love the things He loves. He has graciously revealed truth to us. Praise Him! What active, tangible work our family has ahead of us! I feel incredibly hopeful although I know drastic changes are on the horizon.

I've been humbled to realize that in many ways, my large stomach and greedy eyes have turned me into a slave owner, someone who employs children who are treated horribly, someone who cheats the poor out of their wages...all so I can have what I want when I want it.
How humbling to admit that I am a modern day slave owner. Yes, there is this nice, convenient degree of separation between me and my slaves, and the people I'm cheating out of their wages, but when we get real honest, it is my money...my extravagant needs...my greed...my gluttony...voting "yes" for things that God hates. God does not only NOT want me to support those things, He tells me to defend the poor.
Jesus help me.
help us.
I hope you'll join our family on this humbling journey. Our sweet life group and other friends of ours are talking this all out in community, hashing through these hard things. I love these people and could not be more grateful for them. This would seem too big and too hard without them.

We want to be generous. We want to use our money in a way that honors God by giving more to people in need, and organizations/churches doing incredible things as they care for the poor and bring the hope of Jesus to hurting people. We also want to know where the products we buy for ourselves come from. Are we supporting people who exploit the poor? As we find answers to our tough questions, action is required.

We're asking ourselves difficult questions like...
Are we feeding the hungry?
Are we caring for the poor?
Are we caring for the orphan?

Are we defending them?
Are we willing to give up everything we own like Jesus asked of the rich young ruler, or are we going to walk away sad because we love our stuff too much?
We don't like the answers to these questions. We're broken. We're repenting. We're about to have to make some life-altering changes.
I pray this is a safe place to document our journey, and I hope some of you join us.

Matthew 25:41
To those who do not feed the hungry and clothe the naked, Jesus says, “Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”