Thursday, February 25, 2010
Haitian Kids Update
Waiting.
That's really where we're at right now.
Waiting to hear if the governments involved grant these children medical visas.
Our "packet" is in Haiti.
Seems super weird that our paperwork is there...our home study...our family picture...
The paper Hendricks are in Haiti. The flesh and bones Hendricks are here.
Waiting to hear.
Trying not to get discouraged.
Learning Creole.
Praying for God to help these people, and to use us in some way (big or small) to care for them.
This need for families to care for hurting children in Haiti coupled with the sermon series we're listening to below has totally shaken us.
Only God can shake you violently and lovingly.
One day I'm going to try and catch you up on what God's doing in our home and in our souls.
Right now we're busy praying, repenting, asking Jesus to grow our faith, and talking out life altering issues with people on this same terrifying, exciting journey.
I've never been more unsure and afraid of the future, and yet I've never felt so alive.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Haiti orphans facing neglect
Ryan sent this out yesterday.
Need something to pray about today?
Let's pray for Haiti.
Let's ask God to move us to action, to be willing to do whatever the Lord asks us to do to share His love and bring the hope of the gospel to this country.
Let's be women who are informed, who care about what's going on around the world, and who pray.
Proverbs 31:20
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Radical is Wrecking Us

We've been listening to David Platt's "Radical" series.
I couldn't write yesterday.
I don't really want to write today either. My head is still spinning. But I think it would be good to stop and share some stuff. I have to constantly remind myself that the process is where I see Jesus. It's where we admit we have a hard time with the teachings of Christ, with saying no to our flesh. I never want to be one of those people who only display the finished product or the parts that finally said "yes" to Jesus. I wish we could all wiggle our noses and be more Christ like. The truth is...this journey is a rocky one at times. It's difficult. Yet God is evident in all the places between "here" and "there."
Our lives feel like they are turning upside down right now. You know, like the Kamikaze ride at the carnival? Like that. But there's less screaming, more crying, just as much nausea.
We're ashamed that it has taken us this many years of studying God's Word to ask one simple question...
"What if...and I know this sounds crazy....but what if Jesus means what He says?"
I mean for real. What if He means exactly what He says?
"You can't be my disciple unless you give up everything to follow me."
"Give to the poor."
"It's really hard for rich people to go to heaven."
"This is what TRUE religion looks like...care for the orphan and the widow. Keep yourself from being polluted by the world."
And yet how long have I claimed to follow Jesus and ignored the things He says?
Too long.
How many times have I said, "Well...that's what He says, but that can't be what He means?"
Too many times.
As if God, the author of communication lacks in His ability to communicate clearly?
Aaron and I have cried many tears over the last few days.
I don't think we're anywhere near done.
We're asking hard questions...make my stomach burn kind of questions...
Are we generous?
Do we need to sell our house?
Do we need to leave this country?
Do we care about the poor?
Do we love them?
Heck...do we even know anyone who is poor?
Does anyone poor even live in the US?
Do we care about the widow?
Do we serve them?
Do we care about the orphan?
Do we spend our lives defending them?
Lots of questions. We have so many questions.
When Jesus called the disciples He said..."Come, follow me." Immediately they left their boat (livelihood) and their father (family) and followed Him.
If Jesus asked me to do those things, would I?
We hate all the answers to those questions.
My "boat" is so full of crap that I love...I mean tons and tons of shiny, sparkly, soft stuff that I love. Could I turn away from it, leave it behind and follow Jesus?
What gets me most is this:
Until last week, I would have thought that living wholeheartedly for Jesus was what happens when you get older...grow deeper in your faith...walk with Jesus longer. I would have thought that living radically for Jesus is something that grew on you...like a fruit.
And yet, this is how Jesus introduces Himself to others in scripture...
"Hi. I'm Jesus. Give up everything you have...leave it all behind...even your family if need be...let go of all the things you're so attached to...and come follow me. Nice to meet you."
David Platt mentions that when Jesus says this crazy stuff in scripture (this isn't all the crazy stuff He says, just a few things) that He's not talking to seminary students, or elders, or people longing to go "a little deeper." He says those things during the introductory class to Christianity.
The saddest part of all...
Until last week, I thought I was pretty awesome.
I mean...I knew I had faults. I knew I "struggled." I knew I was a work in progress. I knew I was a big fat sinner in need of God's grace every day of my life.
But I could list you a whole ton of reasons why I thought I was following hard after Jesus even though none of those reasons would have been criteria for being a follower of Christ. Instead, we wanted a sticker for doing things like teaching our kids God's Word. We're doing Lent for heaven's sake. Someone put us on a poster. I'm laughing at myself!
I'm not saying those aren't good things. What I'm saying is those things are probably bottom shelf stuff for people who love Jesus. The things I've held onto as evidence that I'm following Jesus seem like dirty rags to me today.
At one point I could throw down all the "evidences of God's grace" in my life like nobody's business.
Today, the only evidence of grace I see in my life is this...
I'm still alive. He still calls me His own, even though I am living in absolute disobedience to just about everything clear and big scripture teaches about what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus. All the big things Jesus tells me to care about...I hardly care about those things. I don't spend my life caring for the poor, the widow or the orphan. The truth is, I have given up very little to follow Jesus, and my life on the outside looks very similar to the world around me. God has changed a lot of my insides, but the way we spend our money, the way we love ourselves and avoid the very people God says we're to spend our lives caring for is heartbreaking to me. Not only do I not serve them, I don't even think of them.
Works will never save us. I know that. God's gift of salvation is free. We're just admitting that maybe we've never really counted the cost to follow Jesus, like scripture commands.
I can't tell you how hard this series has been on us as a couple...but it is changing us, and for that I'm thankful. How terrible would it have been to live in this deception forever? How gracious is the Lord to teach us these things now? I've never been more aware of His grace, His mercy and how slow He is to anger.
We're not totally sure what sort of changes God is going to call us to make. But right now it's feeling like it might be something drastic.
Drastic scares me.
I highly recommend listening to the series below. (I'm laughing thinking about how crazy you'd have to be to listen to the series after I just said all this terrifying stuff...oh yes, Heather...sign me up to have my life all jacked up.) I recommend getting your friends to listen with you so you can work out all the things Jesus teaches in community.
I would be losing my mind right now if it wasn't for the people close to us who have listened to this series, are yearning to follow Jesus on His terms, admitting with us our weaknesses, our need for faith, our need for Jesus, crying with us, praying with us, talking about these things with one another, and seeking to live out the beauty of scripture.
Jesus, teach us to live. To truly live.
Friday, February 19, 2010
The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives?
It was just another Friday.
Until I started listening to this sermon.
Katie referenced these sermons on her blog.
I ignored them.
Don't be like me.
Please.
Listen.
Let's talk about what we hear.
Let's work this stuff out with one another.
Because many of you are pastor's wives...
Please share these with your husbands. Listen together.
Check out this church's website.
Notice anything strange?
No cute pictures of the pastor on the home page.
No snazzy "Look at how cool our church is" verbiage.
Instead...
The first thing you see on this church's website are updates about the poor...about suffering around the world...how to help the orphan...kingdom stuff like that.
This church's programs include foster care training.
Like nothing I've ever seen before.
Here's a link to all the sermons in the series. From what I understand, after this series, there was a major restructure in how this church did ministry.
Who will listen to these sermons with me?
For those of you considering this Haitian thing...this man is preaching to us. You'll be blessed.
I've cried all the way through this stuff. Lots of snot. Lots of tears. You'll need kleenex.
Do I even know what it means to be a follower of Christ? Not sure I do. Right now I'm too scared to want to know. Hard stuff. True stuff. Change your life stuff.
I don't think we can be the same after hearing what this man is teaching (and by man, I mean Jesus).
Until I started listening to this sermon.
Katie referenced these sermons on her blog.
I ignored them.
Don't be like me.
Please.
Listen.
Let's talk about what we hear.
Let's work this stuff out with one another.
Because many of you are pastor's wives...
Please share these with your husbands. Listen together.
Check out this church's website.
Notice anything strange?
No cute pictures of the pastor on the home page.
No snazzy "Look at how cool our church is" verbiage.
Instead...
The first thing you see on this church's website are updates about the poor...about suffering around the world...how to help the orphan...kingdom stuff like that.
This church's programs include foster care training.
Like nothing I've ever seen before.
Here's a link to all the sermons in the series. From what I understand, after this series, there was a major restructure in how this church did ministry.
Who will listen to these sermons with me?
For those of you considering this Haitian thing...this man is preaching to us. You'll be blessed.
I've cried all the way through this stuff. Lots of snot. Lots of tears. You'll need kleenex.
Do I even know what it means to be a follower of Christ? Not sure I do. Right now I'm too scared to want to know. Hard stuff. True stuff. Change your life stuff.
I don't think we can be the same after hearing what this man is teaching (and by man, I mean Jesus).
Thursday, February 18, 2010
What a Whiner

Yesterday I was a whiny jerk.
Today I can't stop praising God for all the good He is doing.
He is causing us all to hear the cry of the orphan.
He is causing us all to ask, "Do you want to use us, Lord?"
He is doing so much good, and I am grateful.
I've gotten so many emails today...so much encouragement.
On one hand, I'm sorry for "processing out loud." I want to be honest and try to not have it all together before I ever share what's going on inside of me. That's been a challenge at times, because we are all much more comfortable with the end result than the process, right? I know I am.
But this is a process...and the process is where we see our sin...our fear...our shame...and then see Jesus redeem all of that.
I didn't want to hurt people with those posts about battling frustration. Please forgive me.
It's been hard to know what we know...to have the need described to us in detail from the organizations trying to help these kids, and not cry all day long over those children...and not being able to find enough families to help them, or consider helping.
That's hard.
I've not handled that grief well.
Like I said...it was all raw and unrefined.
I guess I could have tossed all those emotions around for awhile and not written about them...maybe that's what I should have done. Nonetheless, I'm really thankful for how the Lord has used this community not only to take action for these kids, but also to lovingly correct and encourage me.
I needed correction...and I needed encouragement.
The Lord has offered both today.
I'm overwhelmed by how the Lord is bringing bodies of churches together.
How He's using His people to spread the word.
How He's sparking conversation about the poor...about the orphan...about our fears in regards to adoption. God has been busy!
How He's bringing about true community. People who can't bring these kids into their homes are offering to help...to be there...praying...reminding families making this commitment that they will never be alone in this. That's a picture of the kingdom! Rejoice!
I'm encouraged by how many people have emailed me to tell me that this has been a hard thing...how they weren't ready to think about something like this. How they want to be ready next time.
Some don't have community where they are and know they can't undertake something this big and terrifying without community. Who can blame them? I can hardly deal with the minor things in my life without our strong community. Adding something this big would be absolutely nuts without a group of believers surrounding us who love us and walk this road with us. I'm thankful that people have been changed forever about this...are looking for community now...to be ready next time.
God has used the orphan's cry to make all of us ask a lot of questions.
Do we care about the orphan? Do we see God's clear command as optional? What is our part?
If we look at our lives...our individual lives is there evidence that we're doing something...anything...to pursue orphans and help them. Are we sensitive to their needs?
Have we thought through adoption?
Have we talked about it out loud with our spouse?
Are we in community, surrounded by people encouraging us to take God's Word seriously, to care about the things God cares about? Are we connected to believers who will love us, encourage us and help us when we do crazy things to follow the Lord?
Are our lives too busy to be flexible and open to letting God interject a gigantic blessing or calling in our lives?
So many great questions.
Praise God for what He is doing.
He is using these precious kids in Haiti to wake us all up...to make us hunger after the Lord...to know Him better...to trust Him more.
I was sad yesterday, but today I can't stop rejoicing.
Thanks for not giving up on me...or beating me down in my sin. God has used many of you the last couple days...lifted my head...spoken truth over my life. Pointed me to Jesus...to His grace...to our giant need for it.
Let's not grow weary of praying for God to make a way for these kids to come.
He's already done so much...grown our faith...I can't wait to see Him finish this work.
Better Day

This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." --Jeremiah 17:5-8
Yesterday was a rough day for me.
Talking before bed with Aaron, he spoke a lot of truth over my soul.
Like I mentioned yesterday...I was hurt...battling anger, not at the people who can't host one of these children. No way. I respect their decision, and know how hard it has been to make it. I'm honestly grieving with so many who have had to say no, for various reasons. I'm hurting and praying with several families who are still fervently seeking the Lord, asking for an answer...asking for peace. This is such a difficult issue.
I was hurt by how many people didn't even ask for specifics...more information...
I don't want to be that arrogant person who thinks everyone should care about the things I care about or do the things I'm doing. That grosses me out. I love the freedom Christ brings in our lives in regards to our convictions. I love living in that freedom.
I went to bed asking God to help my focus to be on Him...on what He's obviously doing. He is at work. There's no doubting how He's moving.
I was ready to shake off my sinful yuck from yesterday.
I needed a huge change in perspective. I needed my husband to gently and firmly remind me of what is true...and noble...and right...pure...admirable...and lovely. Then I sat and thought about those things. Healing. Looking at Jesus always brings healing.
My head needed to turn away from man and towards the Lord. My confidence was in the wrong place.
Instead of being irritated or hurt, I want to be found faithfully praying that God finishes His work in this situation, bringing more families along. I fully believe God can do that.
He alone can change us...all of us. What a gentle shepherd He is.
Please pray with me today...pray for families considering this scary task. Pray for peace...for clarity.
I believe that God has used this opportunity to sift out a lot of "issues" that may have been hidden in all of us.
Is anyone else feeling that?
I had no idea I had such an aversion to caring for a child with special needs.
Many of us have had to admit a lot of hypocrisy and lack of faith.
Saying we want to adopt and that we would...but not being ready to do so when God gives us the opportunity.
We've all admitted to talking a big talk...but when it comes down to it, this situation has shown all of us where there's a lot of "I don't really mean what I say" in our lives.
We want to help, but not if that means being horribly inconvenienced.
We want to adopt, but not if that means sitting in long trainings, saving money and letting some adoption agency get all in our business.
I've always said that if we want to adopt, we need to get ready. Babies don't just fall out of the sky. There are rules. There are laws. There's a process. And then kids sort of fell out of the sky with this Haiti situation...giving people the chance to love and care for the orphan with little to no financial cost. That's crazy. But...were people ready?
We were ready...but not because we're awesome...just because that's how it worked out from adopting Hudson recently. By ready I mean we had most of our paperwork done...the homestudy...those things. We weren't ready emotionally or spiritually. We still aren't. We'll be the first to admit...if it wasn't for adopting Hudson recently, we would not have been ready to say yes to this new need. Promise.
This opportunity has brought so many other areas of my life into the light...areas where I say one thing, but am not ready if God did something crazy and gave us the opportunity to follow Him.
I heard someone say once that if you say you love missions...that you'd go serve in another country at the drop of a hat...but you don't have a passport...then you don't mean what you've said.
Passports take time to get. They cost money. You can't talk a passport into your hands. You have to exert some energy to get one.
We heard a story of a man who organized a mission trip overseas. Several people dropped out, for various reasons. So he began calling people who he knew loved mission work, offering them a FREE trip to another country to serve the Lord for a week. They didn't need any money. The trip would be free. He couldn't find anyone who had a passport.
Many people who loved mission work had to pass on a FREE trip to another country because they were not ready.
If we say we want to adopt, and would help the orphan in distress are we ready to do that? Do we have a home study? Are we saving money? Is our life set up to live out that conviction?
I'm asking God to show me the areas in my life where I'm talking a big talk, but I'm not ready to follow Jesus. Makes me think of the disciples...how they didn't have much time to think. Jesus said, "Come. Follow me." Then they cast down their nets and followed. I wonder what their lives looked like. How were they ready to drop those nets and go?
faith
This is growing mine.
Not just faith in the moment...when God asks us to do something incredible for His glory...but faith today when God isn't asking me to do anything right now besides set my life up in a way that makes me ready. Faith to live our lives in a way where we are ready for him to walk past our boat and say, "Come. Follow me."
Getting ready for something you can't see can only be called faith.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Lent and Haiti Orphan Headache
I've been trying to organize my thoughts in my mind before sitting down to write.
I give up.
I can't.
First...it's Ash Wednesday. The beginning of Lent. Our family participated in this time of fasting and intentional devotionals last year, so we're excited to that again this year.
We've just been super overwhelmed with this whole Haiti thing, hurting for these children and for the country. We wanted to spend more time finding just the right study for our family, but like I said...other things have been on our minds.
Aaron found these two studies...
Lenten Family Devotions
Family Devotions for Lent
We'll use a mixture of both. They are both extremely simple. Simple works best for our family. I love that the top one has your kids create an art journal for Lent. Maybe we'll all get artistic as a family together in the evenings.
We're not Catholic, but we love celebrating Lent and Advent. Hopefully I can write more on these things early next week.
Just wanted to include those links in case you are looking for something to use. Feel free to add your own resources in the comment section.
Now onto the brain slush...
Please keep in mind that this is all really raw right now for me. I want to be honest. I also don't want to sound like a jerk. Tough balance...especially when your emotions and thoughts are all over the place. The moment I feel like I have to have this all figured out before I say anything is the moment I quit this blogging stuff.
Will we open our home to a child from Haiti who needs to come to the US for medical attention?
It all started last week with that question.
We have a home study, all the piles of paperwork needed for such a task because we recently adopted Hudson.
It wasn't really a matter of "can we be ready for this"...we were ready.
It's been a question of will we do this?
I'll admit...it would be pretty hard to say out loud, "No. I won't help. I'll let a child sit and suffer in another country when I could prevent that by offering my home."
This is probably one of the clearest definitions of "orphan in distress" we'll find.
How can we say no?
And yet...we've really wrestled hard with this...like fat, sweaty sumo style wrestling.
Most of these kids (if not all of them) will be amputees.
An amputee?
My mind sort of went numb when I heard that word.
And then after waking back up I'm sad to admit that the next thing I said to Aaron was....
We're going to be raising Buster? Seriously Aaron? No freakin' way.
You have to be an Arrested Development fan to get that. Sorry.
We also have a long list of reasons why this will be difficult, maybe too difficult, not the right time, and possibly insane. I've pretty much felt like I've sucked it up at my life lately in almost every area...add something else to my plate? This is ridiculous.
The hardest part about all of this is knowing who to seek advice from...who to ask...who to go to for wise counsel.
We know people who love Jesus who would probably tell us we're being crazy. People who love Jesus could easily look at all the evidence and even describe what we're doing as "unwise."
Are you kidding? I look at all the evidence about five times a day and say the same thing. So I don't fault those people.
But all the people whose lives God has used to challenge us, who we respect because of the radical, might need medication ways they follow hard after Jesus have reminded us that following Jesus is never easy. There's probably never "just the right time". Never.
I read Katie's latest blog post and think what I'm dealing with right now is minor leagues compared to how God is using her. I want to be like Katie! I want to be like the Livesays. Normal people who say yes to God. I'm sure none of them said yes because their "no column" was empty. I'm sure they had their own reasons for looking at their life and saying, "not now."
Those are the people God has put in my path as my "cloud of witness"...those going before me, showing me what it looks like to let go of this world and hold onto the life that God is calling me to as his child.
So that's been difficult. I love wise counsel. It's just been hard to know who to ask for advice when I'm not sure we should be running after safe or "wise" the way that word is used by people living safe, always logical lives. I'm not trying to be judgmental of those people...I can't be. I'm one of those safe people right now. I'm a lover of all things safe and smart. But I'm not sure I want to be this person.
What we're doing right now as we prepare for this possibility to care for an injured child from a different culture is...
praying
looking for guidance from people who challenge us to walk by faith, to do crazy kingdom things when God presents those opportunities...
talking all this out in community. There's a group of us who are getting ready to open our homes up to these kids. We are meeting, praying, talking...working this out with the Lord and in the light and comfort of community.
We'll need that once these kids get here (if they come) but we need it now as we honestly share the thoughts that give us stomach cramps, cause arguments with our spouses, and keep us from sleeping at night because of all the "junk" God is bringing out in all of our souls...our lack of faith...our selfishness...our big mouths and tiny actions...our need to control our lives even if we know that control is a big illusion.
There is so much to work through.
After our first group meeting yesterday I walked away thankful. Every single one of us could give you a long list of reasons why this is not the right time, or will be terribly inconvenient. Not joking...all huge, legit reasons. It wasn't comforting to know that everyone has crazy lives...it was comforting to me to hear that maybe this is what faith looks like. Trusting God when it doesn't make any sense. I sat there wondering if there had ever been a good time in any of our lives to do something like this. I'm guessing no. I'm guessing...as much as I hate it...that obeying Jesus and following Him, forsaking this world is always going to be hard and ruin the plans our hands have created.
I want to be totally honest...this is my place to do that. I want to do it graciously...but I need you to know where I'm at and how to pray for me.
Personally I am battling irritation today.
Believe me...I know how hard of a decision this has been for us. I'm not upset that many people can't do this right now. I'm just battling frustration over how many people (living in the cities approached with this opportunity) haven't even asked for more information about helping these kids. They have said no without even knowing the details or the needs.
Lots of people have asked for the information, prayed over all of it and had to come to the gut wrenching conclusion that this was not for them. I'm hurting with those people, but so grateful for how they sought the Lord, were informed...cared enough to gather the facts. I believe every heart that hurt over this decision (no matter the answer) will be forever changed in regards to the suffering going on around the world.
There is nothing but love and hurt in my heart as I love and hurt with all of those people who had to make that hard decision.
I'm crushed today over how many believers have been able to hear this need and not even find out more information.
Crushed.
I'm hurting and getting angry over it.
And yet I know that's NOT where God wants me.
I know.
I know this isn't for everyone.
I know God is not asking everyone to do this.
I just don't know how someone could hear that kids are suffering...dying...most of them needlessly...a short distance away from us and not need to know the details. I don't understand today how people can know we have a chance to help these kids, know what God says about caring for the orphan and not even CONSIDER if God is calling them to action...to find out more so they can pray and then pray some more over this need.
One of the ladies in our meeting yesterday said something like..."I feel so honored that God would give us this chance to care for these kids. I just don't want anyone I love to miss out on this chance. I believe they will be missing out on such a blessing."
That's where I want to be...that's the right place to be.
That's the reason why I wish everyone would adopt a child...because I have a Hudson...and I want everyone I love to have one too.
But today I'm not there with this. I'm just not.
I'm irritated.
Today I'm hurting and fighting off thoughts of anger and disappointment.
I'm asking God what this means for His people, that we could hear of this need and not even hurt over whether or not we're the ones who should respond?
I'm also asking God to remind me that not everyone has to care about the orphan the same way. We all have to care if we claim to know Jesus...but not the same way.
I'm asking God to teach me how to talk about these things...how to think about them...how to challenge myself and others with His Word, but to do so gently and with grace.
That's an update on this girl. Just wanted you to know where we're at today.
I give up.
I can't.
First...it's Ash Wednesday. The beginning of Lent. Our family participated in this time of fasting and intentional devotionals last year, so we're excited to that again this year.
We've just been super overwhelmed with this whole Haiti thing, hurting for these children and for the country. We wanted to spend more time finding just the right study for our family, but like I said...other things have been on our minds.
Aaron found these two studies...
Lenten Family Devotions
Family Devotions for Lent
We'll use a mixture of both. They are both extremely simple. Simple works best for our family. I love that the top one has your kids create an art journal for Lent. Maybe we'll all get artistic as a family together in the evenings.
We're not Catholic, but we love celebrating Lent and Advent. Hopefully I can write more on these things early next week.
Just wanted to include those links in case you are looking for something to use. Feel free to add your own resources in the comment section.
Now onto the brain slush...
Please keep in mind that this is all really raw right now for me. I want to be honest. I also don't want to sound like a jerk. Tough balance...especially when your emotions and thoughts are all over the place. The moment I feel like I have to have this all figured out before I say anything is the moment I quit this blogging stuff.
Will we open our home to a child from Haiti who needs to come to the US for medical attention?
It all started last week with that question.
We have a home study, all the piles of paperwork needed for such a task because we recently adopted Hudson.
It wasn't really a matter of "can we be ready for this"...we were ready.
It's been a question of will we do this?
I'll admit...it would be pretty hard to say out loud, "No. I won't help. I'll let a child sit and suffer in another country when I could prevent that by offering my home."
This is probably one of the clearest definitions of "orphan in distress" we'll find.
How can we say no?
And yet...we've really wrestled hard with this...like fat, sweaty sumo style wrestling.
Most of these kids (if not all of them) will be amputees.
An amputee?
My mind sort of went numb when I heard that word.
And then after waking back up I'm sad to admit that the next thing I said to Aaron was....
We're going to be raising Buster? Seriously Aaron? No freakin' way.
You have to be an Arrested Development fan to get that. Sorry.
We also have a long list of reasons why this will be difficult, maybe too difficult, not the right time, and possibly insane. I've pretty much felt like I've sucked it up at my life lately in almost every area...add something else to my plate? This is ridiculous.
The hardest part about all of this is knowing who to seek advice from...who to ask...who to go to for wise counsel.
We know people who love Jesus who would probably tell us we're being crazy. People who love Jesus could easily look at all the evidence and even describe what we're doing as "unwise."
Are you kidding? I look at all the evidence about five times a day and say the same thing. So I don't fault those people.
But all the people whose lives God has used to challenge us, who we respect because of the radical, might need medication ways they follow hard after Jesus have reminded us that following Jesus is never easy. There's probably never "just the right time". Never.
I read Katie's latest blog post and think what I'm dealing with right now is minor leagues compared to how God is using her. I want to be like Katie! I want to be like the Livesays. Normal people who say yes to God. I'm sure none of them said yes because their "no column" was empty. I'm sure they had their own reasons for looking at their life and saying, "not now."
Those are the people God has put in my path as my "cloud of witness"...those going before me, showing me what it looks like to let go of this world and hold onto the life that God is calling me to as his child.
So that's been difficult. I love wise counsel. It's just been hard to know who to ask for advice when I'm not sure we should be running after safe or "wise" the way that word is used by people living safe, always logical lives. I'm not trying to be judgmental of those people...I can't be. I'm one of those safe people right now. I'm a lover of all things safe and smart. But I'm not sure I want to be this person.
What we're doing right now as we prepare for this possibility to care for an injured child from a different culture is...
praying
looking for guidance from people who challenge us to walk by faith, to do crazy kingdom things when God presents those opportunities...
talking all this out in community. There's a group of us who are getting ready to open our homes up to these kids. We are meeting, praying, talking...working this out with the Lord and in the light and comfort of community.
We'll need that once these kids get here (if they come) but we need it now as we honestly share the thoughts that give us stomach cramps, cause arguments with our spouses, and keep us from sleeping at night because of all the "junk" God is bringing out in all of our souls...our lack of faith...our selfishness...our big mouths and tiny actions...our need to control our lives even if we know that control is a big illusion.
There is so much to work through.
After our first group meeting yesterday I walked away thankful. Every single one of us could give you a long list of reasons why this is not the right time, or will be terribly inconvenient. Not joking...all huge, legit reasons. It wasn't comforting to know that everyone has crazy lives...it was comforting to me to hear that maybe this is what faith looks like. Trusting God when it doesn't make any sense. I sat there wondering if there had ever been a good time in any of our lives to do something like this. I'm guessing no. I'm guessing...as much as I hate it...that obeying Jesus and following Him, forsaking this world is always going to be hard and ruin the plans our hands have created.
I want to be totally honest...this is my place to do that. I want to do it graciously...but I need you to know where I'm at and how to pray for me.
Personally I am battling irritation today.
Believe me...I know how hard of a decision this has been for us. I'm not upset that many people can't do this right now. I'm just battling frustration over how many people (living in the cities approached with this opportunity) haven't even asked for more information about helping these kids. They have said no without even knowing the details or the needs.
Lots of people have asked for the information, prayed over all of it and had to come to the gut wrenching conclusion that this was not for them. I'm hurting with those people, but so grateful for how they sought the Lord, were informed...cared enough to gather the facts. I believe every heart that hurt over this decision (no matter the answer) will be forever changed in regards to the suffering going on around the world.
There is nothing but love and hurt in my heart as I love and hurt with all of those people who had to make that hard decision.
I'm crushed today over how many believers have been able to hear this need and not even find out more information.
Crushed.
I'm hurting and getting angry over it.
And yet I know that's NOT where God wants me.
I know.
I know this isn't for everyone.
I know God is not asking everyone to do this.
I just don't know how someone could hear that kids are suffering...dying...most of them needlessly...a short distance away from us and not need to know the details. I don't understand today how people can know we have a chance to help these kids, know what God says about caring for the orphan and not even CONSIDER if God is calling them to action...to find out more so they can pray and then pray some more over this need.
One of the ladies in our meeting yesterday said something like..."I feel so honored that God would give us this chance to care for these kids. I just don't want anyone I love to miss out on this chance. I believe they will be missing out on such a blessing."
That's where I want to be...that's the right place to be.
That's the reason why I wish everyone would adopt a child...because I have a Hudson...and I want everyone I love to have one too.
But today I'm not there with this. I'm just not.
I'm irritated.
Today I'm hurting and fighting off thoughts of anger and disappointment.
I'm asking God what this means for His people, that we could hear of this need and not even hurt over whether or not we're the ones who should respond?
I'm also asking God to remind me that not everyone has to care about the orphan the same way. We all have to care if we claim to know Jesus...but not the same way.
I'm asking God to teach me how to talk about these things...how to think about them...how to challenge myself and others with His Word, but to do so gently and with grace.
That's an update on this girl. Just wanted you to know where we're at today.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Haitian Children Update
We need more families.
That's the bottom line.
There are 30 families ready to care for Haitian kids who need to come to our country for medical reasons.
We need 50.
For all of those who contacted us from Houston...this opportunity is now open to you.
Just so I get less hate mail:
There is an agency here in Texas working with an organization in Haiti to bring children over to the US for surgery and other medical needs.
This is very different than fostering for those of you familiar with that process. You will need some training, a home study, criminal background checks...stuff that you would need for an adoption. The difference is, you don't need money (like you would for an adoption). The other difference is, these kids will not be wards of the state. They won't belong to CPS. So, lots of the crazy rules and weirdness that go along with fostering won't be there. If you have fostered before you know what I'm talking about.
I'm about to leave the house, but if you are interested in this opportunity to care for Haiti's orphans and you live in or near Austin, Bryan/College Station, or Houston please contact me through EMAIL.
hendrickcrew@gmail.com
If we don't get 50 families, we've been told this can't happen. The kids can't come. I'm not trying to be dramatic here, but the truth is the kids will sit in Haiti suffering, many dying of silly things like infection when care is readily available for them here in the states.
Please pray about your involvement.
When I get home this afternoon, my goal is to sit down and write something about how hard of a decision this is.
We know.
We're struggling too.
This seems insane.
But I'm trusting that God will speak to each of us, and if He is prompting us to trust Him and do this crazy kingdom thing, that we will throw out our lists of why we can't and say yes...maybe a shaky, I'm scared, this makes me have diarrhea yes...but yes.
Please spread the word wisely.
I want God's people to know about this need, but I also want to protect these agencies from anything...any people...any powers that would come against what it is God is doing through them.
That's the bottom line.
There are 30 families ready to care for Haitian kids who need to come to our country for medical reasons.
We need 50.
For all of those who contacted us from Houston...this opportunity is now open to you.
Just so I get less hate mail:
There is an agency here in Texas working with an organization in Haiti to bring children over to the US for surgery and other medical needs.
This is very different than fostering for those of you familiar with that process. You will need some training, a home study, criminal background checks...stuff that you would need for an adoption. The difference is, you don't need money (like you would for an adoption). The other difference is, these kids will not be wards of the state. They won't belong to CPS. So, lots of the crazy rules and weirdness that go along with fostering won't be there. If you have fostered before you know what I'm talking about.
I'm about to leave the house, but if you are interested in this opportunity to care for Haiti's orphans and you live in or near Austin, Bryan/College Station, or Houston please contact me through EMAIL.
hendrickcrew@gmail.com
If we don't get 50 families, we've been told this can't happen. The kids can't come. I'm not trying to be dramatic here, but the truth is the kids will sit in Haiti suffering, many dying of silly things like infection when care is readily available for them here in the states.
Please pray about your involvement.
When I get home this afternoon, my goal is to sit down and write something about how hard of a decision this is.
We know.
We're struggling too.
This seems insane.
But I'm trusting that God will speak to each of us, and if He is prompting us to trust Him and do this crazy kingdom thing, that we will throw out our lists of why we can't and say yes...maybe a shaky, I'm scared, this makes me have diarrhea yes...but yes.
Please spread the word wisely.
I want God's people to know about this need, but I also want to protect these agencies from anything...any people...any powers that would come against what it is God is doing through them.
Monday, February 15, 2010
If You Live Here Locally...
Here are some cool things going on in our town:
PURSE PARTY TONIGHT
(for Heartline Ministries)
Last night I took the kids to Com Church to listen to the Livesay family. I've mentioned them several times on this blog. Troy Livesay spoke about the women's program at Heartline in Haiti. Their goal: teach women about the Lord, teach them to read, teach them skills, empowering them to provide for their children. I am very excited to share the work Heartline does tonight, celebrate these women, and pray over their lives.
MWANGAZA CHILDREN'S CHOIR
THIS IS A FREE SHOW TO SEE AN INCREDIBLE UGANDAN PERFORMANCE!
Mwangaza is the Swahili word for “shining light.” Mwangaza Children’s Choir is dedicated to sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ through song, dance and testimony, The group, based in Ggaba, Uganda, tours for Africa Renewal Ministries (ARM) to raise awareness and resources for churches, schools, orphanages, medical clinics and child sponsorships.
Check out their website to learn more about them.
We can't wait to hear these kids sing!
MASTERPIECE CONFERENCE
February 26-27
For girls ages 17-25
Registration is still open.
Check out the website for all the details.
For girls ages 17-25
Registration is still open.
Check out the website for all the details.
I am extremely excited to spend the weekend with so many college girls I love. Cameron, Kirby and I will be serving in Part of the Solution. Come say hi if you're coming to Masterpiece!
I must say...I'm very impressed with this conference. What a beautiful display of creativity and how to use the gifts God has given women for His honor and fame. I'm also thrilled at how "outside of us" this conference is going to challenge young women to think. How exciting for women at a young age to learn to think globally. God is going to use this generation to do such beautiful kingdom work.
RUN FOR COMPASSION

Saturday, April 10
5K/10K
Benefiting Compassion's Child Survival Program
Check out all the good your entry fee for the race will do here.
Registration is open!
5K/10K
Benefiting Compassion's Child Survival Program
Check out all the good your entry fee for the race will do here.
Registration is open!
Our family will have to miss out on this year's race, but we are praying for lots of runners (and walkers).
Saturday, February 13, 2010
We Are the World. I Can't Resist.
Sorry...but I love this.
If you try really hard not think of how one of these celebrities could single-handedly lift a third world country out of poverty, then the song is really enjoyable. I even teared up a few times. Not gonna lie. Music does that to me.
I'll admit...I didn't know who some of these people were. Thankfully handy dandy Wikipedia has come through once again:
- Soloists (in order of appearance)
Nicole Scherzinger
Jennifer Hudson
Jennifer Nettles
Josh Groban
Tony Bennett
Mary J. Blige
Michael Jackson (stock material only)
Janet Jackson
Barbra Streisand
Miley Cyrus
Enrique Iglesias
Jamie Foxx
Wyclef Jean
Adam Levine
P!nk
BeBe Winans
Usher
Celine Dion
Orianthi (on guitar)
Fergie
Nick Jonas
Toni Braxton
Mary Mary
Isaac Slade
Lil Wayne
Carlos Santana (solo with a guitar)
Akon
T-Pain
LL Cool J
Will.i.am
Snoop Dogg
Busta Rhymes
Swizz Beatz
Iyaz
Kanye West
For a list of the people in the chorus you can check it out at Wikipedia (you have to scroll down to the Haiti version).
If you're like me, then you have to watch the old "We Are the World." Go ahead...it's fun, and it's Saturday.
Can we all laugh about the sunglasses in both versions (I mean...at the random celebrities wearing them indoors. I'm not making fun of Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles. Not even I make fun of blind people. They can keep their sunglasses...but others? Celebrities can be so weird).
Now here is the game I'd like to play.
Who do you wish was in the new "We Are the World" that wasn't?
And...most importantly, who do you wish randomly appeared in the "chorus?"
Me...I kept waiting for Beyonce to slap some she-funk on this song, and I wish Zach Braff's face was randomly seen in the chorus (with his crazy eyes). It would be even better if "Turk" was standing next to him.
Aaron...he wishes Dwight Schrute had made an appearance. I'm about to pee my pants thinking of the camera scanning the chorus and seeing Dwight standing there (with his eyebrows raised, staring at the camera).
What about you?
Friday, February 12, 2010
Haitian Children Needing Medical Assistance Update
I have been overwhelmed by how many people have responded to this need.
I am taking the post down at this point. We've sent about 60 families to the agency to find out more about helping these kids.
At this point, the "ugliness" is coming out.
Apparently this post got twittered. We don't have twitter, so it wasn't us.
That's fine, and no one feel bad.
But...I don't have time today to deal with the people accusing me of handing Haitian kids to pedophiles. I can sort of understand the "concerns", (especially since I'm Baptist) but I also know the need is great, these kids are suffering, and wanted to spread the word to so many incredible families we know.
Obviously, for those of you who got the information you are aware...
We were putting families that we know in contact with a licensed agency working with the Haitian government to bring children over to the US who need medical care they can't receive in their country. No one fear. Although this is different than fostering, things like FBI fingerprinting, home studies by licensed agencies, background checks, and lots of other protective measures will be taken. The agency would like to place the kids in homes where parents are open to adoption in case that opportunity presents itself. That's wise. Who knows what the future holds, and we pray if these kids need forever homes that God provides those.
We didn't mention the agency's name online because we want to protect them from the ugliness.
Please pray with us at this point that God makes a way for these kids to get to the US and get the medical attention they need.
I am taking the post down at this point. We've sent about 60 families to the agency to find out more about helping these kids.
At this point, the "ugliness" is coming out.
Apparently this post got twittered. We don't have twitter, so it wasn't us.
That's fine, and no one feel bad.
But...I don't have time today to deal with the people accusing me of handing Haitian kids to pedophiles. I can sort of understand the "concerns", (especially since I'm Baptist) but I also know the need is great, these kids are suffering, and wanted to spread the word to so many incredible families we know.
Obviously, for those of you who got the information you are aware...
We were putting families that we know in contact with a licensed agency working with the Haitian government to bring children over to the US who need medical care they can't receive in their country. No one fear. Although this is different than fostering, things like FBI fingerprinting, home studies by licensed agencies, background checks, and lots of other protective measures will be taken. The agency would like to place the kids in homes where parents are open to adoption in case that opportunity presents itself. That's wise. Who knows what the future holds, and we pray if these kids need forever homes that God provides those.
We didn't mention the agency's name online because we want to protect them from the ugliness.
Please pray with us at this point that God makes a way for these kids to get to the US and get the medical attention they need.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Don't Forget About the Purse Party!
All the money will go to the women at Heartline Ministries.
We'll come together, shop, eat yummy snacks and then pray for Haiti.
Bring a friend!
For more information about Heartline in Haiti check out this post.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
How Does Your Garden Grow?
And it's about time.
We've tried to get food out of our garden for years.
For years we have failed and thought over and over that if our life depended on our garden, the Hendricks would have died a long time ago.
The other night we ate a salad and everything (except the tomatoes) came from our backyard.
How exciting!
This salad contained lettuce, spinach, green onions, carrots, and broccoli.
We were in awe.
I added tomatoes that Jessie and I bought on our hippy trip to the local farmer's market.
Fun times.
I'm amazed at how plants like spinach, lettuce, broccoli and carrots can keep on thriving after several "freezes." They look so frail, and yet they are incredibly hardy.
I can't wait for our Spring garden.
If you are wanting to try your hand at a garden, right now is the time when you buy potatoes. From what I've heard potatoes are super easy to grow. You have to buy them now, and plant them in the ground Valentine's Day weekend.
Gardening has been great for my soul. I think there is something so good about digging in the earth and watching the natural cycles of life right in your own backyard. I think in our culture it's easy to live far from the earth, unattached to the life it brings and the lessons God teaches through His creation.
I know it sounds weird to say that growing a garden has been a very spiritual thing for me...but the truth is...it has.
Eating our first "this grew in our backyard" salad was more fulfilling and rewarding than I think any of us were expecting.
Anyone planting a garden this Spring?
I'm so ready for this winter to be over. I want to feel the sun on my skin and the earth in my hands.
Monday, February 08, 2010
Beware of Christians

The title alone could be a great discussion, no?
Last summer a college guy walked into our home. Small groups had started up at the church we attend. A new group of people were coming through our front door.
One of the girls sitting across the room from me caught my eye, looked over at this new guy and mouthed the words "He was in a movie."
I mouthed back..."A movie?"
she nodded her head.
"A real movie?"
she nodded her head again. Then she moved closer and said, "Like he makes real-life movies that are in the movie theater...and he's in them."
Monkey!
Try as I may to not really care about those kinds of things, the truth is, I do. I thought it was super cool that a movie guy had decided to join our church and become a part of our family's life. Judge me. Whatever.
Now the movie coolness has worn off. This guy is no longer "the guy who makes movies" to us. He's Michael Allen. Not Michael. Michael Allen. Because some people are "both names" kind of people. Michael Allen is one of those people. It feels good and right to say both names, so we do.
We love Michael Allen. We love his heart. We love his honesty. We love the 5 million questions (per week) he's asking about living a life that honors God. We love seeing him work this junk out with "fear and trembling." It's always refreshing to see anyone looking deep into scripture on a hunt for Jesus and the Way, desiring to live for the Kingdom...you know...the real Kingdom, not this earthly one.
There are times we think Michael Allen might be crazy. There are times we are sure of it. Every time we are around him we are thankful that we get a front row to hear his heart, and his convictions. We love listening as he hashes out hard topics with the Lord and God's people.
Long story short, Michael and his friends have made another movie.
coming to theaters soon!
I'll be honest (I hope you don't expect anything less).My first reaction to four college guys trying to figure out life and tell the rest of the world how to live it was an eye roll.
Seriously?
It can almost seem comical.
How can four college guys, unfamiliar with the real world, providing for themselves or others, going to discover anything monumental about living for God by traveling around Europe for a summer (how did they pay for this)? Seems like idealism on steroids. That sounds kind of mean, and my many assumptions may be way off, but I said I was going to be honest...I have my own questions.
One of the questions I've been asking is...when did I get so old that these guys seem so young? If I start using the phrase, "whipper snapper" please...someone...for the love...put me "down" or something.
Aaron and I watched their first documentary, "One Nation Under God." We went into it with the same sort of critical eye, yet hopefully willing to learn. We may not have walked away with all the messages that we were intended to walk away with, but we did leave that film with a lot of treasure. It was refreshing to see a group of believers asking real questions, trying to live out the beauty of scripture.
We're excited to watch Beware of Christians.
The trailer makes it sound like this is a group of four renegades who want to chunk out all the things their parents and the church have taught them about following Jesus and find their own way. If we didn't know Michael we would walk into this film very skeptical because of some things they say in the trailer. We are probably pretty skeptical of anyone (or four someones) claiming to have discovered anything worthwhile without the influence of older, godly people and apart from the church that Jesus loves so much He gave His life up for it. We have our own questions that hopefully the film will answer. We're all for challenging tradition, and really rethinking the reasons why we do what we do (or don't do what we should do) but we also love community and the body of Christ. I hope all those elements come out in the film.
Because we know Michael we will watch this movie ready to listen...to hear...to understand where these guys are coming from and find out how we can walk this road with them as one body. Michael loves Jesus. He loves the gospel. He's not afraid to let Jesus totally jack his life up as he learns to follow Him.
I think these guys will ask some hard questions. I hope they do.
Questions can sometimes be threatening, but I try to remember that the Bible is a huge story, and it is filled with people asking questions...asking God questions...asking Jesus questions...and so I want to be more comfortable being questioned and asking them myself. For the Bible to be a big book of people asking hard questions, sometimes the church is one of the hardest places to ask them.
I think everyone who loves the church should watch this movie, if not to ask the same questions, then to know what questions parts of our body are asking. Maybe after we watch this movie, we'll see some areas where these young men need more wisdom or their perspective challenged and broadened. Maybe we'll see where we need more wisdom, more honesty, and need our perspective to be challenged and broadened.
For sure I think we can rejoice as believers that God has redeemed, in small part, the movie making industry with films like this. I'm praying the gospel is shared, that Jesus is seen, that "religion" like that of the Pharisees is mocked and confronted the same way Jesus mocked and confronted white washed walls whose hearts are filthy and far from Him.
Bottom line...
I love questions, and although I'm not expecting these young men to ask all the right ones or come to all the right conclusions, it does get me excited any time people look around this world, see how hypocritical we all can be, ask questions, look to Jesus for answers and begin to live out their convictions and CHANGE.
Questions
Looking to the cross for answers
Change
All good things
Doesn't the last line in the trailer make your stomach hurt a little? or a lot?
Will you help spread the word about this movie?
Do you want me to get you Michael Allen's autograph? If he writes his name on his cup at our house this week, I'll save it for you. I already told him I'm saving all "Michael Allen" paraphernalia so I can sell it on ebay one day when he's big and famous.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Saturday Yum
As most of you know, I've been on a journey to get rid of "all things weird and processed" from my family's diets.
This means learning to make more foods from scratch (which by the way, always taste better I'm finding).
I have always been a Bisquick girl.
I use Bisquick to make chicken n' dumplings (one of my family's favorite meal), waffles and pancakes.
Well, I decided a few months ago that I wasn't using Bisquick anymore. Yep. I'm kickin' it to the Bisquick man.
One of the great things about learning to cook from scratch is that you realize how much more money it costs to buy processed foods. Bisquick is expensive. I realized I was paying a company to mix my flour and baking powder (and other chemicals) for me. No thank you company. I'll mix my flour and baking powder myself and leave out the cancer.
No joke. I always thought eating healthier was more expensive.
I'm finding that it isn't.
As a matter of fact, we eat really well around here and I've been able to cut my grocery store budget to around $100 a week for our family and that includes diapers, toilet paper and other household and toiletry items.
Pretty awesome, no?
I'm slowly learning that it doesn't cost as much to have a pantry filled with whole ingredients. I'm also learning that I like the foods better that we're eating, and once you get into the "flow" of eating differently it really doesn't take more time or money. I was really skeptical about this, but I've been relieved lately to see eating healthier wasn't as awful as I thought it was going to be for our family.
I recently found THE BEST...and I mean THE BEST pancake recipe.
Seriously...these pancakes make the Bisquick pancakes seem extraordinarily sad.
Thought I would share these pancakes today in case you want to make them for your family (or roommates) in the morning. Much love and raving will be the result.
For regular pancakes...
1 1/2 cup flour (I used white, but next time I'm using wheat)
3 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 T sugar
1 1/4 c. milk
1 egg
3 T melted butter
Mix dry ingredients. Mix wet ingredients in separate bowl. Then mix the two together.
For our favorite kind...banana/cinnamon pancakes...
1 1/2 cup flour (I used white, but next time I'm using wheat)
3 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 T Sugar
1 T Cinnamon
1 tsp. vanilla
1 1/4 c. milk
1 banana, mashed
3 T melted butter
Mix dry ingredients. Mix wet ingredients in separate bowl. Then mix the two together.
I times this recipe by four. That way we have a bunch to eat for dinner (or breakfast), plus a few mornings worth of pancakes with the leftovers.
These are the fattest, fluffiest, most divine pancakes you'll ever make. Promise.
You can buy maple syrup for a great price at Sams. There was also a fantastic deal on maple syrup through Amazon, but I can't find the details now. Anyone remember seeing that on Mommy Snacks or Money Saving Mom recently?
Now I just have to figure out how to make Chicken n' dumplings without Bisquick...always learning something new around here.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Treasure In Our Hearts

With a treasure map and four boys in this house you might thing this post is going to be about pirates. Normally you'd be dead on accurate. Not today though. Today I'm thinking about God's Word.
This week in Her Hands we are learning about the value of scripture.
Proverbs 2:1-6 (Amplified Version)
MY SON, if you will receive my words and treasure up my commandments within you, Making your ear attentive to skillful and godly Wisdom and inclining and directing your heart and mind to understanding [applying all your powers to the quest for it]; Yes, if you cry out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, If you seek [Wisdom] as for silver and search for skillful and godly Wisdom as for hidden treasures, Then you will understand the reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of [our omniscient] God. For the Lord gives skillful and godly Wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
Quest
Treasure
Those are words God uses to describe the wisdom found in His Word.
All of us involved in the study this semester are asking ourselves a hard question this week...
"What am I pursuing in life? What am I on a quest for?"
God desires for us to pursue wisdom. In other verses God says that growing in wisdom should be seen as a principal goal in our lives.
God also is clear...we can't grow in wisdom apart from loving, cherishing and treasuring His Word.
I'm so proud of many of the college women in our class and in our church. They have signed up for the 5 a.m. club on the Girl Talk Blog. These girls are committing to get up bright and early to spend time with the Lord praying and studying His Word.
Only good can come of growing in this discipline for these precious college women!
The Lord has blessed me with the discipline to get up every morning and read His Word. Believe me, this is not a me thing. I love sleep, and God had a lot of work to do in my soul about giving it up to meet with Him. However, I confessed to Cameron yesterday (a girl in my life group that I have the pleasure of getting to know better and better) that I totally stink it up in the area of scripture memorization.
My kids know way more scripture than I do.
While getting ready for class this week I found some great articles from John Piper about the value and importance of scripture memorization. Here are my favorite parts:
Scripture Memorization Gives us Daily Triumph Over Sin
“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. . . . I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:9, 11). Paul said that we must “by the Spirit . . . put to death the [sinful] deeds of the body” (Romans 8:13). The one piece of armor used to kill is the “sword of the Spirit” which is the word of God (Ephesians 6:17). As sin lures the body into sinful action, we call to mind a Christ-revealing word of Scripture and slay the temptation with the superior worth and beauty of Christ over what sin offers. "
Another great nugget about scripture memorization...Piper asks this question:
"If I offered you $1,000 for every verse you memorized in the next week, how many do you think you could memorize? Yet God says of his word in Psalm 19:10-11, "They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them Thy servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward." The real value of the word is far greater than $1,000 a verse. The question is, Do you believe this? Believing this will be the crucial motivation you need."
Hot dang John Piper. That's some good stuff. (No one tell John Piper I said, "Hot Dang.")
You better believe I would be a memorizing fool if someone offered me $1000 for every verse I memorized. Shoot...I'd be a memorizing fool if I only got paid $50 a verse. If money was involved at all suddenly I would not be able to come up with any excuses for not hiding God's Word in my heart. And yet...God's Word is way more valuable than money.
I firmly believe that our lack of scripture memorization and our lack of discipline in reading the Bible always comes back to a faith issue. We don't need guilt. We don't need condemnation. We need our faith to be grown. Good thing we can ask God to increase our faith (Luke 17:5).
Do we believe that God's Word is the only hope for wisdom?
Do we believe that God's Word is where we encounter our Savior, and learn who God is and how He thinks?
Do we believe that God's Word is useful for teaching us and training us, equipping us for every good work?
Do we believe that there is power in the the written Word of God (Hebrews 4:12)?
Do we believe that it is by wisdom a house is built (Proverbs 24:3) and that foolish women destroy their homes with their own hands (Proverbs 14:1)?
Do we desire to be women who speaks with wisdom, who have faithful instruction on our tongues (Proverbs 31:26)?
Do we believe that God's Word is a gift to us so that all of God's best can be brought about in our lives?
Do we believe that becoming like Jesus is only possible as we behold Him, set our eyes on Him and grow in our understanding of who He is?
If we don't believe those things and desire them, then we won't read the Bible, and we won't hide God's Word in our heart.
Great articles from John Piper:
Thy Word I Have Treasured In My Heart
Why Memorize Scripture?
Great article from an older mom to a younger mom:
Help! Mommydom leaves me no time for God!
Piper mentioned in one of his articles that their church participated in a challenge where they memorized 52 verses (one per week for the year).
They call them "fighter verses." I think they just mean these are great ones to memorize and meditate upon throughout our day....good for fighting sin and reminding us of truths found in scripture.
Last night Cameron found the verses Piper's church used in their year long quest for scripture memorization. Here's a link to the verses if God is tugging at your soul to hide more of His Word in your heart.
Fighter Verses
I want to be on a quest for God-inspired wisdom and knowledge, pursuing it as the principal thing in my life. I also want God to give me a hunger to hide his Word in my heart and mind.
I also want to be found faithfully encouraging and spurring on the women around me to do the same.
Consider yourself encouraged and spurred on today!
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Not a Baby

I've been tired for months now. Like "I have a newborn tired" or "I'm pregnant tired."
The problem is, I don't have a newborn, and I'm not pregnant.
No matter what I do, no matter how much rest I get, I'm still tired.
Exercise makes me feel worse. Usually exercise makes me feel great (well, not in the moment, but later I feel terrific). I've still be doing The Shred, because I'm really seeing results, but after I'm done I have seriously found myself, several times, wondering why humans don't get to hibernate. Bottom line, exercising makes me jealous of bears.
I've had no energy.
I kept blaming these symptoms on some hard things going on with homeschooling, relationships...you all know...things have been pretty "off" in lots of areas in my life lately.
I also quit drinking caffeine. I was highly addicted. So I kept thinking that maybe I was tired all the time because I was still in withdrawals from the lack of coffee. Then it dawned on me that I quit caffeine back in August. Surely no one on earth is that addicted to caffeine that they can't function for six months after they quit the stuff. (I still drink decaf, have no fear.)
I finally decided to go to the doctor. I mean seriously, when you want to climb into your baby's bed with him for his morning nap, there's probably something wrong with you.
Especially if you are getting plenty of rest, eating pretty healthy (minus the blue bell ice cream) and exercising several times a week (because of all that blue bell). No joke...I was doing all that healthy stuff, not because I'm Mrs. perfect, but because I felt awful and knew those things were supposed to make me feel better.
At the doctor's office they handed me the "what's up with you paper." I wrote, "I'm here because I probably have cancer."
I mean really, what else could it be? What else could anything be if you're me?
The peeps at Abundant Life Family Practice are used to my fear of cancer.
When I saw Dr. Bacak I told him I didn't really know what all my symptoms were, but I'm just tired of feeling like crap.
He said I could either be anemic, have chronic mono, or have a thyroid issue...or none of those things.
No one in my family has a thyroid issue (that I know of) but I think the desire for a thyroid issue is pretty universal.
Who doesn't want to eat Cheetos all day, take a pill and be skinny?
I had my fingers crossed, "Thyroid..thyroid...please let it be the thyroid."
I was imagining all the chocolate I was going to eat while wearing tiny jeans.
I don't have a thyroid issue though. I'm never that lucky...what was I thinking?
I am anemic and I DO have mono. Like the real mono, not the chronic kind. I have the mono that girls who need more adult supervision in high school get. Awesome.
I always wanted mono in high school. Then I could stay home from school and sleep for a month and people would think I had a boyfriend. As a mother of four kids, mono is not nearly as cool.
This whole time I thought I was tired because I have four crazy kids and a very full life.
I guess the kind of tired where your eyes start burning at 10 a.m. is probably a little over the top though.
I've felt like a big baby lately. All I want to do is sit on the couch. That's so not like me. Naturally, I'm more like a squirrel...or a bouncy ball. I have whatever sin issue is the antonym for laziness. But I've been so tired lately that I've even flaked out in my thoughts, not just in my actions. I'm too tired to even think about all the things I'm not going to end up doing. Now that's tired.
Today I start taking iron and naps.
This might be the second best thing to a thyroid issue.
I am getting me a t-shirt made that says, "I'm not a baby. I have mono."
Although having real live stuff wrong with me kind of stinks, it's also great to know I wasn't losing what's left of my mind. It's good to know that no matter how hard I tried, there was a reason things were not getting better. Praise God for pills and prescribed napping. Even better...praise God my worth is wrapped up in Christ, not in a clean house or all the other 900 things I enjoy doing that have been left undone lately. That's humbling, but oh so good for me.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Movie Review

loved it.
as in
Lu-huved it.
We had a great time with friends last night watching No Impact Man. Here's a photo of some us from Jessie's photo blog.
We viewed the movie at an off campus dorm.
The dorm is super fancy and cool.
Right when we walked in, I asked Aaron if we could move there.
Wouldn't that be fun?
They cook all your food for you.
Sign me up.
The movie room was incredible.
The perfect place to watch a great movie with a bunch of great friends.
I'll have to break up my thoughts about this movie into several posts.
WAY too much to process at one time.
I'll work my way through my thoughts from littlest to biggest.
Here's where I'll start...
This family set out to make no impact on the earth for one full year.
This meant drastic changes.
I mean drastic...no tv, no buying anything new for a year (or really even used), no trash making, no meat, no vehicles, no eating out, no electricity...eating only local, seasonal foods, see...I told you...drastic.
They live in New York City.
Everything about the way they lived had to change for this project. Completely change.
There's this scene where the family is together, outside at a fountain in the middle of the city.
The wife, Michelle is talking about how their electricity is off. Everything that kept them inside has been stripped away from them, so they are outside more.
They want to be outdoors in the sunlight, with people and with each other.
At this point Michelle said something I hope I never forget...
"The days seem to last forever."
How many times do I hear myself say, "Time is going by too quickly. My kids are growing up too fast. The last three years feel like a blur to me."
I say those things a lot.
Something must be very different about my life when compared to Michelle's. Her days seem to go on forever. She feels like she has so much time...the days drag on.
I've not had a dragging day since elementary school.
Michelle's statement has me thinking...deeply thinking...
What is eating up my time and my life? What is making my days fly by so fast I swear I feel like I'm running after them, hard as I can, and yet I feel like I can never catch up.
We're told all these modern day conveniences are here to make our life easier...and better.
I don't think after living one full year in absolute simplicity that this couple in this movie would agree.
With no electricity, no cars, no tv, no internet, no shopping, not much crap to take care of, this mother said...
"The days go on forever."
She didn't mean that in a negative way. She meant she had been given the gift of time, of feeling like there were more than enough hours in her day to do what was important.
I can't say the same for my life.
And so here I am today asking the Lord to give me fresh eyes...
How is the enemy stealing my days? How is he robbing me of moments with my children, of time with people?
How is my lack of time and my excess of "stuff" linked together?
Living simply, Michelle said her days seem to go on forever.
Incredible. I'm going to think on that for awhile.
And then, because these people have inspired me, I hope I don't stop with thinking. Thinking is great but sometimes thinking is too safe. This world is already bubbling over, like peroxide on a wound, with people who "think" things, but don't live out their own thoughts and convictions. This couple in "No Impact Man" have taught me that thinking isn't enough. If I think something, why not move from thought to action?
I'm praying I have the guts to get rid of things in my life that are robbing me of time. Maybe God has given me all the time I need...I've just filled up my life and my days with a bunch of junk that shouldn't be there.
Monday, February 01, 2010
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