You...mister...are going to eat the rest of your breakfast. There are starving kids all over the world who would give anything to have that food to eat today.
Yes. I said that. The one line every expectant-with-their-first-born-child mother practices before becoming a parent. Like a rite of passage.
That's when the little stinker looked up and sweetly said..."Can I go outside and give my food to them?"
So...that line we all practice into the mirror before ever becoming a parent...it should have a little disclaimer...a little asterisk.
*do not use this age-old parenting technique in a country where hungry kids play right outside your gate. It won't work, and you will be left speechless...open mouthed...schooled...yeah...schooled in front of your finicky, clever child.
Walking out of a room grunting and saying, "I quit being a parent. I quit this. Fine! Don't eat your food...you'll probably get scurvy" while your other sons laugh and wallow in their ornery victory is a sign of a functional home. Right? Right?
Oh. And. Hudson pooped out a lego head today.
No arguing it.
All signs point to dysfunctional.
I know.
Some days we win.
Most days we don't.
13 comments:
Oh my word! I laughed so hard at the lego poo!!!
Um, are you sure you didn't steal this from our house??? The food battle is one that's raging here with Olivia and her three year old self. I'm pretty sure she'd be very happy living on a diet of breads and bread type foods. She was such an easy eater until now... And then we (as in husband and I) argue over how to deal with the food thing so she doesn't develop food "issues" in the future. Some days I just don't feel like I have the energy to fight the battle any more and I want to go hid in my room. Let her parent herself for a while and see how that goes!! :)
She hasn't swallowed or pooped out anything weird though. Yet.
Bwa-ha-ha!!!
You have been schooled, my friend!
lol, spitting out my cheerios in front of the grandgirls!
you're kids are totally winning
Still waiting on my NINE year old to poop out a lego gun...it's been a few days and it hasn't made an appearance (that we've seen, anyway!). What nine year old swallows a lego?!?!
After my son threw his legos on the ground in a huff I told him if he didn't appreciate the legos then we should send them to Mali the boy we sponsor in Swaziland. He totally called my bluff and packed up the legos telling me to send them to him - he really didn't need them. um...i can't mail anything over the size of a 6x9 envelope to him...what's the next step in the parenting handbook?? :)
This post had our family cracking up! You've got a super great gift for sharing your story in a fun way!
hahaha! All of your boys are so clever, I couldn't even guess at which one said this! That one totally backfired this time. Hate it when that happens....
hey, at least the Lego head came out. My daughter swallowed a bead months ago and we haven't seen it since. Not that I actually checked every bowel movement. . .
I did manage to get the tiny princess shoe out of her nose, so that's something, right?
Ahahahaha...a lego head...that's awesome! I'm sure it didn't feel so awesome for him, but awesome none-the-less...hahaha!
you were spying on my house? yeah, can't use those lines at my house either!!LOL! and my oh my, the things we see in my 2.5yr olds poo! SHE definetly keeps up with her brothers! never a dull moment and nothing now suprises me!
The annual convention for people from functional families was scheduled for Chicago last September. It was canceled due to lack of interest. They didn't sell a single ticket. Really? No, I'm kidding. Relax. Our family puts the 'fun' in dysFUNctional.
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